21 December 2008
17 December 2008
10 December 2008
PB has heard that you have changed the type of chocolate used in certain candy bars, i.e. Krackle and Mr. Goodbar. Let this be your warning. If you even think about changing the chocolate used in the Reese's Peanut Butter cup you will have serious problems in which to contend. PB Smooth will be knocking on your door, sending you faxes, sending email messages, texting you, calling you, and conjuring up a spell to revive Mr. Reese! PB promieses that you will be sorry that you even considered the switch. Why mess with a good thing? The new chocolate sucks shells and you are just lucky that PB perfers the Peanut Butter cup over the Krackel and Mr. Goodbar otherwise you would have already heard from her and her Nuts. NEVER EVER stand in the way of PB and her Peanut Butter Cups!
PB Smooth and her Nut Posse
25 November 2008
Shady is moving to a townhouse next month and is furniture shopping. The couch pictured above is *wrong* in so many ways, which Shady will now list in increasing levels of wrongness; it is only available in graphite and a weird tan color, it is a sectional, it has recliners on either side, it looks like something a bachelor would buy, and it is poofy/frumpy. Shady actually laughed at it when she saw it on the showroom floor. It is the exact opposite of what she had in mind. It looks like it should start talking, like Chairy from Pee-wee's Playhouse.
The salesman said that a lot of people have a similar reaction to the couch, but that they stop laughing once they try it out. Always the good sport, Shady decided to humor him, and OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! (Shady actually said this several times). This is the most comfortable couch EVER!!!!!!! It is like floating on pillowy clouds of goodness when in the recline position (notice the extra-wide recliners on either end), and yet it is not so soft that Shady sinks into it and feel like she's 5-years-old. Shady actually kept muttering, Wow, that couch is awesome! for several minutes after leaving the couch area. She used the word "awesome" so many times, that coupled with Shady's young looks, probably made the salesman think that her mommy and daddy were going to show up and actually make the purchase.
So, Shady is not sure what to do because now the couch is altering her perception. The more Shady looks at it, the more she likes how it looks. It's kind of like when someone becomes more physically attractive as you get to love their personality.
Is Shady nuts?!? Shady needs objective opinions from cowpeas who have not fallen under the spell of Couchy!
20 November 2008
04 November 2008
31 October 2008
30 October 2008
the following was borrowed from Phillies Nation
27 October 2008
22 October 2008
PB wanted to let you know that 3 of your biggest, smoothest, and creamiest fans are rooting for you. PB thought you would like to see the name brand photo of 2 of your fans who could not afford the $400 standing room only tickets, but will be watching from PB's shell. PB and her Nuts know you can do it. Let's go PHILLIES!
20 October 2008
15 October 2008
PB is extremely proud of her boys. Congratulations to the Philadelphia Phillies 2008 NLCS Champs. Best of luck in the World Series. Nice story here and here and here and here. Alternatively, if you missed the victory you can download the game here. Ok. PB was slightly tired and weery eyed while typing this blog so it lacks some peanut luster. But her happiness cannot be contained. Let's Go Phils!
09 October 2008
01 October 2008
26 September 2008
16 September 2008
It’s the ultimate peanut butter experience when you're looking for that extra crunch. Skippy Super Chunk has loads of real peanut pieces blended into every jar of great-tasting peanut butter.
It's the cream-of-the-crop when it comes to peanut butter. Skippy Creamy is made from only the freshest taste. In fact, 772 delicious peanuts are used to make every 16.3-oz jar of Skippy Creamy. It spreads on smooth and tastes great, so stock up now!
All Data are courtesy of Walmart
13 September 2008
Here are two name brand options:
Mulllins Square Peanut Baby Costume
Peanut Infant Costume (too bad they don't make them for ripe nuts)
Please Erin! Fulfill this spoon dream!
07 September 2008
06 September 2008
We even pulled a carver and got our very own nuts, Shelley Peanutza (Mets player) and Peanut Rose (Phillies player), inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY. Jelly! Jelly!
Enjoy our video premiere! It is name brand! For shizzle my peanizzle!
05 September 2008
17 August 2008
Check out this site, Friends of Heroes to learn more. Also check out this site to learn how you can participate and possibly win a gift.
Leukemia is simply a blood cancer which forms in the bone marrow. When PB was just a little cowpea her symptoms consisted of fatigue, bruising, and other flu-like symptoms. Leukemia occurs when there are an abundant number of white blood cells (leukocytes). These fighter cells then deplete the necessary creation of Red Blood Cells. So, Nuts, too much of a good thing can be dangerous. There are many forms of Leukemia and some are more common than others. PB was affected by Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). PB recalls a story of another cowpea who was diagnosed with ALL when PB was. She inquisitively asked her Momma Nut, "Mommy, why do I have laundry detergent in my blood?" PB's friend was around 6 years of age when she asked this. This is the reality of cancer Nuts. It strikes whomever it wants to and knows no boundaries.
Nuts, pull a carver and check out how you can learn more about Leukemia by checking out the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. PB hopes to use Team in Training to train for a marathon (just as soon as she is healthy enough to start running consistently enough and begin strength training again). This is just one way she is going to give back to an agency which helped save PB's life. See how you Nuts can be smooth and creamy in other Nut's lives.
13 August 2008
05 August 2008
04 August 2008
FYI: The Peanut Gang came about due to the social unrest in the peanut community during the Cracker Jacks vs. Crunch N' Munch controversy at Yankee Stadium a few years ago, when upper management wanted to replace Cracker Jacks with Crunch N' Munch. This chunky change included modifying the famous lines from Take Me Out to the Ballgame, from Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack, I don't care if I never get back to Buy me some peanuts and Crunch N' Munch, if my team loses I will hurl my lunch. Thankfully, due to fan outcry (the only creamy thing that Yankee fans have ever done), the change was not implemented, however the damage was done. Millions of American peanut families had undergone the strain of having their livelihoods threatened by outsourced Crunch N Munch nuts, thus creating a stressful and unstable environment for the younger peanut generation, who began forming peanut gangs.
Until this weekend, law enforcement believed that the Peanut Gang had limited its a-salts to New York City. Unfortunately, security cameras on an interstate train traveling from Pennsylvania to Massachusetts caught our own PB Smooth being a-salted by a member of the Peanut Gang who was apparently also on his way to Fenway to spread mayhem.
Study these pictures carefully, as Peanut Gang members seem to use a similar M.O.
Notice how the gang member is sidling up to PB Smooth while she's distracted, a similar technique used on Lil Shady.
PB Smooth feels violated when this salty gang member asks her, Do you want to lick my nuts?
Horrifying, we know. Thankfully, PB Smooth has fully recovered from her trauma.
In order to prevent social unrest in our pods, as well as future attacks, PB and Shady will now share with our cowpeas what we have learned thus far;
1) There are some rotten nuts in the world, even though the majority are good.
2) Replacing Cracker Jacks with Crunch N' Munch at the ballpark will always be a bad idea.
3) The lyrics to Take me Out to The Ballgame should not be messed with.
4) Yankee fans have done at least one creamy thing... but, it's only one.
5) ALWAYS STAY ALERT! The Peanut Gang is now an interstate operation!
This has been a PSA brought to you by your #1 source for useless information you can't live without, The PB and Shady Blog.
28 July 2008
Apparently this salty nut thought it would be smooth and creamy to copy PB! Except his "salty" nut made it on the television. How crunchy! If any of you nuts have any information as to his whereabouts please inform PB. She needs to crack some shells. Just kidding, PB is a lover not a hater and would like to extend an invitation to this psuedonut to become part of the Nut Clusters!
For those nuts who do not know. PB celebrated her 30th birthday at Citizens Bank Park and all her guests wore these lovely additions along with Hawaiian leis. Apparently this Nut was in awe and copied her idea. PB is very flattered. This game too was at CBP (Mets v. Phillies)
27 July 2008
Here is Lil' Shady daydreaming about her first-place NY Mets.
Here is that sneaky nut sidling up next to Lil' Shady, who's completely unaware of the bedlam that will ensue.
Shady is horrified when this salty nut asks her, Do you want to see my pea-nus?
PB and Shady are asking all their cowpeas to always be on alert when riding public transportation. Although most nuts are friendly creatures, there are rotten nuts who attempt to spoil the whole bag. At this time, we are unsure if the nut that a-salted Shady is acting on his own or if he's part of the Nut Clusters peanut gang based at Yankee Stadium.
1 inch tall
hour glass figure
rough, bumpy shell
light tan colored
burn mark (possibly a gang tatoo) on his waist
He primarily attacks his victims with salty language as his lack of opposable thumbs prevents him from carrying other weapons. He is easily out-run as he has no legs. He was last seen on the 7 train leaving Shea Stadium at around 11:45PM on July 26, 2008.
Stay Alert! Be Safe! And please let us know if you see this nut!
This has been a PSA brought to you by your #1 source for useless information you can't live without, The PB and Shady Blog.
Girl on girl on peanut action!
Sexy Asians eating peanuts!
21 July 2008
This Saturday, while PB was stalking Mr. Peanut in NYC, Shady was down the shore basking in the adoration of total strangers who were ooh-ing and ahh-ing and literally calling her a genius. Why? Because of her ice cream/toppings choice. If Shady knew that it was this easy to impress, she would have gone straight for the ice cream at age 22, instead of graduate school. Ah, regrets.
Peanuts, here is the "Shady" Sundae!
(no picture - was too distracted by the accolades and the awesomeness of the sundae)
Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
Chopped Peanuts (mandatory!)
Whipped Cream (optional)
1 scoop = Lil' Shady
2 scoops = Shady
3 scoops = Mama Shady
4 scoops = Big Mama Shady
5 scoops = What are you thinking?! You will surely appear on an obesity special on Discovery Health or TLC
So, Shady encourages all nuts to try the Shady Sundae and see why it was all the buzz in Ocean Grove this weekend. Bonus points if you order it simply by name and expect your local ice cream parlor to know what you're ordering!
20 July 2008
10 July 2008
To prove that humans will share their opinions about anything, I submitted the following:
Since all of you lovely peanuts who visit this page can make an educated choice in these quandaries, click the poll results above to vote! Don't forget to star so that these polls can stay in rotation!
06 July 2008
04 July 2008
27 June 2008
08 June 2008
So she decided to have a peanut gallery to celebrate which was totally off the Nut! But this time she went above and beyond herself by providing PB with a smooth surprise at the peanut gallery. PB has been spinning her jar lately trying to determine if she is ready to begin the quest of finding her boy spoon dream. Ms. Kristen provided a totally name brand surprise. PB had invited a Principal Nut to this celebration, which he accepted but then it became chunky because plans fell through. Unknown to PB the chunky situation was resolved and he contacted Ms. Kristen to obtain directions to surprise PB. What a honey nut or what? This SMOOTHNESS NEVER happens to PB. She arrived fashionably late to the peanut gallery to find her honey principal nut friend eagerly awaiting her arrival. Wow! It definitely was no generic night for PB. So PB salutes Ms. Kristen and Principal nut for giving her a wonderful smooth surprise!
01 June 2008
26 May 2008
20 May 2008
19 May 2008
12 May 2008
27 April 2008
25 April 2008
24 April 2008
22 April 2008
19 April 2008
So, Shady was watching one of her favorite, on-in-the-background-while-doing-other-work-while-passing-the-time-until-the-Mets-game-comes-on-because-of-the-stupid-late-start-because-of-stupid-fox-saturday-baseball shows, Snapped, on the Oxygen Network.
In case you haven't seen this genius of a show, it features women who have, um, snapped, and killed someone because of what usually comes down to either 1) jealousy or 2) money.
Well, today my nuts, this is what happened. Woman sends friend insulting email, in which she tells her that her feet smell bad. Woman later chainsaws to death said smelly foot friend in the basement and disposes of her body in parts at the local dump. Those must have been some smelly *ss feet.
Death over smelly feet is not an isolated incident.
This article is about a man who stabbed his roommate to death after being insulted about his smelly feet.
Smelly feet also caused a stink in Berlin earlier this year when police were called to a residence over a foul smelling corpse. Turns out it was *only* a tenant's malodorous feet.
What can we do about this nuts?
Industrious Japanese inventors are working on mint shoes to help people avoid the "shame of smelly feet." Anyone smell a Nobel Peace Prize?
So, nuts, as summer approaches and your feet are given the opportunity to breathe, remember to take gentle care of your feet, and to take insults about your feet seriously. Remember, Shady's simple equation: Smelly Feet = Death.
This has been a PSA brought to you by your #1 source for useless information you can't live without, The PB and Shady Blog.
09 April 2008
06 April 2008
bag -- A base.
brushback -- A pitch that nearly hits a batter.
can of corn -- An easy catch by a fielder.
fungo -- A ball hit to a fielder during practice. It's usually hit by a coach using a "fungo bat," which is longer and thinner than a normal bat.
gopher ball -- A pitch hit for a home run, as in "go for."
southpaw -- A left-handed pitcher.
Prepared by the Publishing Department of Major League Baseball Properties.
05 April 2008
It is no secret that PB has gone through a number of crunchy weevils in her short lifetime on the planet Earth. And there are times when she is overly discouraged with her "so-called" Life but then she reads things like the above saying. The title of this blog really expresses PB's life. Most people often say it in reverse "2 steps back, 1 step forward". How negativistic can we be? So do PB a chop and let her impart her words of peanuts upon all you Nuts.
First, when PB is faced with crunchy situations she will often take a day (or week) to cry, yell, vent, buy peanut company stock, purchase new threads, eat a ton of chocolate covered peanuts, etc. She calls this her cleansing process. Now, mind you Nuts, PB does this for those crunchy situations that cause major life disruptions (i.e. Boy Cowpea of 8 months decides that he can't handle the truth anymore after giving PB support for those 8 months and runs away with his tail between his legs like a coward rather than facing whatever is causing such distress not when you break a fingernail). After she has pulled herself together she then develops a plan with several goals in mind. This helps her put her head down and plunge forward. Nuts, Life is short and we might lose sometimes but think about all those times when you won even more than expected. So this recent crunchy event has helped PB refocus. She was dwelling on what she hasn't been able to do for the last 8 months or so (thanks to the reminder by a certain Lil Shady and Erin). This was consistently bringing her down and then Boy Cowpea did the unthinkable and frankly she needs to thank him. It reminded PB of everything she has been able to do during the last 8 months of chemotherapy: 1) work full time, 2) study (or try) for licensure exam, 3) root for the Eagles & Phillies with emotion (PB would be disqualified from the Philly fan club if she didn't), 4) spend time with friends, 5) spend time with her Nephew Cowpea, 6) enjoy the simple things in life, 7) bird watch, 8) pray, 9) slow down (which PB finds the hardest of all the things), and the list goes on... so Nuts despite this totally crunchy situation (chemotherapy and Boy Cowpea), PB has a lot for which to be thankful.
Finally, what has PB done to combat her anxiety and this totally crunchy situation. Well, she developed a plan, recognized that this was not about her, realized that Boy Cowpea has some issues he needs to work on, and finally she said that this was beyond her control (and PB doesn't like things beyond her control who does?) and said she can only keep her side of the street clean. So, in the end PB has become more devoted to her spirituality, has started reconnecting with some friends she has lost contact (PB's facebook friend's list grows daily), been doing things she didn't have time for before b/c she was spending time with Boy Cowpea (like cleaning those dust bunnies from under the bed - don't worry fellow Nuts PB never overdoes it and only tackles 1 chore every other night or so), been able to spend some time with Momma PB, and best of all devote time to the Phillies (Boy Cowpea was not a baseball fan - he would watch it but not with the same vigor PB does - was that a sign from the baseball gods or what?) So nuts take from all this when life throws unspeakably crunchy situations your way remember the 3 R's: redirection, refocus, and recommitment. There is no need to work extra hard when these things happen just figure out a what went wrong (to the best of your ability - at least on your end) and make a plan for it to not happen again. And let's just say if PB can have this attitude, most people can (and PB's life isn't near as hard as others- just sucks some of the time).
"Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance." - Samuel Johnson
03 April 2008
Lil' Shady has been M.I.A. on the blog? PB fears the chunky rift among Mr. Peanut, Mr. Met, and the Philly Phanatic may have driven her to seek out other less than smooth Nuts. Is it true? If any of PB's Nuts have seen Lil' Shady let her know she is missed.
02 April 2008
31 March 2008
“You always get a special kick on opening day, no matter how many you go through. You look forward to it like a birthday party when you're a kid. You think something wonderful is going to happen.”
“A person always doing his or her best becomes a natural leader, just by example.”
Now, this is where my Nutter Lil' Shady and PB disagree. We do not see shell to shell on our favorite baseball teams. That being said PB and Lil' Shady will unite their baseball cream when it comes to rooting against those axis of evil teams, i.e. New York Yankees (PB has as many crunchy feelings about them as she does about the Dallas Cowgirls). so Nuts there will be many roasts occurring on this blog from now until October. 160 glorious games to play, yet. PB hopes to set an annual record of ballgames attended this year. So any of you other Nuts out there like baseball and want to catch some cracks at the bat you just jelly! jelly! PB and we will spin on into the ballpark!
PB watched her 1st smooth baseball game from a close friend's pod last evening. Ahh the smoothness of Joe Morgan and Jon Miller's voices just soothes PB's frazzled and frayed nerves. Now the only other baseball voice which makes PB just melt into extra creaminess is that of none other than the Philadelphia Phillies broadcaster, Harry Kalas. PB finds his broadcasting style enjoyable, albeit Mr. Kalas has been making a few more mistakes over these past years. Nonetheless, he is a baseball great. PB salutes PB's pick of the week as a baseball great!
26 March 2008
Courage is doing what you are afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to think, to enjoy, to love.
Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.
"These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death."
-Thomas Paine, The Crisis, 1776
Character is much easier kept than recovered.
The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.
05 March 2008
March 5, 2008 – Washington, D.C. – The Washington elite gathered at the White House this morning in response to the ongoing Mr. Peanut/Mr. Met dramedy. The press conference began with Condoleezza Rice declaring the rift between the two mascots to be a “threat to national security” and urging the two sides to “reconcile as quickly as possible.” Meanwhile, President Bush expressed concern that the conflict in the peanut world was interfering with the celebration of his favorite national celebration, Peanut month, which began March 1st, and will end with the 1,000,000 Peanut March in D.C. at the end of the month.
The successful resolution of Peanut Gate was also a top priority to the presidential candidates. Barack Obama was quoted in Texas last night as stating, "Yes we can end the peanut feud!". In response, Hillary Clinton, who was spending the night in Ohio, accused Obama of making empty promises and pointed to her 35 years of being a nutter as evidence that she is the best candidate to restore relations between Mr. Met and Mr Peanut.
In the most promising moment of the press conference, Mr. Met received a text message from Mr. Peanut offering to meet with Mets officials in a closed door meeting to discuss their dispute. The large crowd erupted in applause when Mr. Met shared the news with them, although no other details of the meeting were disclosed. Mr. Met left the press conference in the MetsMobile, waving to fans and flashing his large plastered smile, but it was unclear whether or not he was headed directly to the meeting with Mr. Peanut.
Stay tuned to PB and Shady for the latest developments in this ongoing dramedy!
02 March 2008
28 February 2008
February 28, 2008 - Port St. Lucie, Florida - In a surprising twist in the ongoing Mr. Peanut/Mr. Met dramedy, an anonymous source leaked a photo of Mr. Peanut apparently shaking hands with an unidentified nut after an exchange of a large, unmarked envelope and a pound of peanuts. At this time, authorities are asking the peanut gallery to come forward if they have any details concerning the nature of this exchange.
Mr. Met, in Port St. Lucie for Spring training with the Mets, was visibly shocked when asked to comment on the photograph. The plastic smile on the unflappingly happy humanoid appeared to melt into an undeniable frown, while large painted tears mysteriously appeared. Mr. Met mumbled "no comment" and was quickly ushered to a chartered jet, presumably on his way to an official press conference scheduled by the Mets in New York later today.
As always, stay tuned to P.B. and Shady for all the latest developments in the peanut world!
27 February 2008
Mr. Peanut, an anthropomorphic peanut dressed as an old-fashioned gentleman, had been a fan of the New York Mets since the baseball team’s establishment in 1962, and was hired by the team in 1963 to mentor Mr. Met, the baseball-headed humanoid who wears a Mets cap and uniform. Mr. Met stated that he was deeply saddened by the picture of his former mentor in Phillies gear and his subsequent statements, calling Mr. Peanut’s actions a “personal attack” and “anything but gentleman-like,” given the well documented feud between Mr. Met and the Phillie Phanatic, the furry, foul-smelling, clumsy mascot of the Philadelphia Phillies.
The salty roast of Mr. Met by Mr. Peanut was just the latest development in the bizarre chain of events involving the beleagured mascot. According to a source close to Mr. Peanut who spoke on the condition on anonymity, the peanut’s downward spiral began in 2006, when Planters Peanuts proposed that Mr. Peanut’s old-fashioned clothing required an update, and encouraged fans to vote for changes, including a “wife beater” and a dude rag. Although fans ultimately voted for “no change”, Mr. Peanut’s ego was shaken by his company’s apparent lack of confidence in the awesomeness of his spats. His rotten mood allegedly spoiled his relationships with his closest mascot friends, including Sprout, who he called “a precocious bastard.” Sprout’s green-skinned foster giant retorted that Mr. Peanut was “obviously a salty nut who was green with envy.”
In September 2007, an alleged rift between Mr. Met and Mr. Peanut was speculated when all of the peanuts mysteriously disappeared from Shea Stadium. Although no arrests were made, a Mets food vendor assisted police artists in rendering a drawing [shown left] of the alleged suspect. An angry confrontation between Mr. Met and Mr. Peanut in the Mets locker room was observed in horror by the Mets players, although Manager Willie Randolph forbade his players from commenting on the situation. However, sources close to the Mets believe that “Peanut Gate” resulted in a player distraction from which the team never recovered, and may have been to blame for the Mets’ historic collapse at the end of the 2007 season.
In response to today’s press release by Mr. Peanut, The New York Mets announced that they will be holding a press conference soon to address Mr. Mets' relationship with Mr. Peanut. Coverage of the press conference will be available exclusively on the P.B. and Shady blog as this historic story unfolds.