21 December 2008

Onto a New Jar

PB is proud to announce that she has successfully completed all the necessary requirements to be considered a psychologist... or at least to legally be able to call herself a psychologist (when she is not working on her next album of course). So for all of you Nut Clusters that provided her with smooth and creamy vibes on the 11th and 12th Dec she thanks you. PB's spoon dreams are all coming true...sometimes Nuts it takes a few extra innings to win the game...but remember the game is not over until the last strike! Until then Nuts keep your eye on the ball and PB promises that eventually it will be hit out of the park. Well, metaphorically speaking of course since PB does not think she could literally hit a major league baseball out of a major league baseball park, unless of course she was roiding. Thanks again Nuts!

Happy Birthday

PB finally has a free moment to post a special Happy 1st Birthday to her cowpea Erin's son N. PB is excited that he is growing...she dreams of the day when he can have Peanut butter, Cracker Jack, and sit in a baseball seat wearing his Phillies shirt (ok outfit) proudly with "aunt" PB. PB Smooth will need to filter her Pindar so as to not be a bad influence on young ears. But, the reality is, if Little N is to be a Phillies fan (which he will be since this has been placed in a notarized contract) he will learn all about disappointments, prayers, bargains, droughts, cussing, and fan-ness. So, Happy Birthday N and congratulations on taking your first steps towards the world of baseball!

17 December 2008

PB's inquiring mind wants to know

so nuts PB is curious to know why is a Nut who is not married, does not have any cow peas of her own, or own her own shell any less deserving of a substantial raise than a Nut of equal education who is married, has his/her own cowpea, and owns his/her own shell? Is this discrimination? PB would like to know why it is society still insists that a female nut is worth less if she has not entered into nuptials, has not sprouted her own cowpea (while happily nuptialed), and has not secured a worthy shell in which to reside by age 30? PB has been running into this mentality more and more lately and frankly is beginning to regurgitate on a regular basis. Can we say 21st century when female nuts no longer need to be chained to the stove nor making sure dinner is on the table by 1730? This is totally off the shell. PB would also like to dispense this knowledge upon thos who are not regular viewers of the PB and Shady blog, A female nut can still have a meaningful life which is full, smooth, and creamy even if...wait...wait for it...just a minute... even if she has not entered into nuptials (gasps), sprouted her own cowpea (please do not faint), AND does NOT own her own shell (yes, non-PB readers it is true)! PB is still just as qualified even without these very traditional aspects in place. She finds it interesting that individuals do not seem to even imagine the level of dedication that it has taken her to obtain a doctorate degree. Yes, nuts PB is really a doctor (and has the student loan to proove it). Why is this? It saddens PB to think that the education of women still continues to take a backseat to nuptials, sprouting cowpeas, and purchasing a shell. Now, please do not misundersand PB, these are all very nice achievements. PB's crux lies within the noise which is made about the fact that a female nut must attain these by 30 years of age otherwise her life is considered spoiled. That is your PSA for the month of December. Now, PB is off to enjoy some eggnog spiked with Peanut Butter of course.

10 December 2008

Don't even think about messing with the PB Cup!

Dear Hershey Foods Inc.,
PB has heard that you have changed the type of chocolate used in certain candy bars, i.e. Krackle and Mr. Goodbar. Let this be your warning. If you even think about changing the chocolate used in the Reese's Peanut Butter cup you will have serious problems in which to contend. PB Smooth will be knocking on your door, sending you faxes, sending email messages, texting you, calling you, and conjuring up a spell to revive Mr. Reese! PB promieses that you will be sorry that you even considered the switch. Why mess with a good thing? The new chocolate sucks shells and you are just lucky that PB perfers the Peanut Butter cup over the Krackel and Mr. Goodbar otherwise you would have already heard from her and her Nuts. NEVER EVER stand in the way of PB and her Peanut Butter Cups!
Sincerely,
PB Smooth and her Nut Posse

Cracker Jack and Fiddle Faddle

PB is extremely anxious (no word for that in Pindar). She is taking her EPPP tomorrow and for those non-Psychological Nuts this is similar to the Bar Exam which lawyers have to pass in order to practice law. So Nuts, PB needs a favor...send some smooth and creamy vibes her way tomorrow (and Friday-as she also has to take the PPLE which is another exam for her to be licensed in the state of Pennsy to call herself a psychologist). PB is looking forward to seeing her living room floor again as well as not reading another crunchy thing about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or the Standard Error of the Estimate. Crunch Crunch Crunch goes her brain in the wee hours of the morning. So tomorrow at 9:00AM remember PB and send a little prayer her way.

25 November 2008

Am I Ugly?


Shady is moving to a townhouse next month and is furniture shopping. The couch pictured above is *wrong* in so many ways, which Shady will now list in increasing levels of wrongness; it is only available in graphite and a weird tan color, it is a sectional, it has recliners on either side, it looks like something a bachelor would buy, and it is poofy/frumpy. Shady actually laughed at it when she saw it on the showroom floor. It is the exact opposite of what she had in mind. It looks like it should start talking, like Chairy from Pee-wee's Playhouse.

The salesman said that a lot of people have a similar reaction to the couch, but that they stop laughing once they try it out. Always the good sport, Shady decided to humor him, and OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! (Shady actually said this several times). This is the most comfortable couch EVER!!!!!!! It is like floating on pillowy clouds of goodness when in the recline position (notice the extra-wide recliners on either end), and yet it is not so soft that Shady sinks into it and feel like she's 5-years-old. Shady actually kept muttering, Wow, that couch is awesome! for several minutes after leaving the couch area. She used the word "awesome" so many times, that coupled with Shady's young looks, probably made the salesman think that her mommy and daddy were going to show up and actually make the purchase.

So, Shady is not sure what to do because now the couch is altering her perception. The more Shady looks at it, the more she likes how it looks. It's kind of like when someone becomes more physically attractive as you get to love their personality.

Is Shady nuts?!? Shady needs objective opinions from cowpeas who have not fallen under the spell of Couchy!

20 November 2008

Conkerr Cancer needs all Nuts Votes!

Ok so PB does not personally know this brave young nut, Ryan Kerr, who lost his fight with childhood cancer; however, PB was extremely touched by the dedication that his parents still have towards finding a way to bring smiles to young faces during their battle with this awful disease. They are also extra smooth and creamy for dedicating time for other life threatening diseases too. How can we not support them? Let's go nuts your vote counts even if it will not enable you to elect the leader of the free world it might mean you bring a smile to a bald 7 year old's head and make a woman's fight for her deceased son even more great! Take a minute or so to share your finger tips at voting for this woman. L'oreal has chosen this brave nut's mother as a nominee for Woman of Worth Award. She was chosen for... ahh heck just check out the Conkerr Cancer website and then click on the above link to vote PB's emotions are getting to her since she finds this level of generosity so amazing! Go...Now!

04 November 2008

Election 2008

PB thinks she can also speak for Shady regarding this smooth duty of all Nuts. Get out there Nuts and do what is a simple duty. PB was happy to stand on line for about an hour to cast her ballot. She normally stands on line for about 10 minutes max to vote. She was also filled to the top with shells that so many young first time voters were there. Way to go Nuts. PB totally appreciates the right to vote and hopes each of her nuts will also be able to see the significance of a democratic society.

31 October 2008

ALL NUTS ON DECK!!!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Please leave a comment at the PB and Shady blog
if you have any information that will lead to the
return of our beloved nut.

30 October 2008

Peanut Rose is going to the Parade!

Peanut Rose will be attending the smooth and creamy parade tomorrow in Philadelphia! He begged and begged PB to go and since he is missing a foot could not drive himself. Soooo PB gave into his desires and will be sacrificing a few hours of sleep to take him. Hopefully he won't lose any more accessories.

Congratulations!

Congratulations to the 2008 World Series Champs- the Philadelphia Phillies! And PB finds it no coincidence that the mayor of Philadelphia is Mayor Nutter.
the following was borrowed from Phillies Nation





27 October 2008

McCain Hearts Obama!

Guess who was 1 of the 100,000+ people who showed up at an Obama rally?! McCain not only showed up, but look how he transformed himself! Full Denver Post article here. Who is in charge of captioning these photos?

22 October 2008

Good Luck Phillies


Dear Phillies,
PB wanted to let you know that 3 of your biggest, smoothest, and creamiest fans are rooting for you. PB thought you would like to see the name brand photo of 2 of your fans who could not afford the $400 standing room only tickets, but will be watching from PB's shell. PB and her Nuts know you can do it. Let's go PHILLIES!

20 October 2008

How could PB resist?

Phanatic PB begged and begged to get this smooth and creamy new shirt. How was PB to resist her favorite stuffed green Phanatic whom she promised to love and spoil rotten?

15 October 2008

Phils win first pennant since 1993


PB is extremely proud of her boys. Congratulations to the Philadelphia Phillies 2008 NLCS Champs. Best of luck in the World Series. Nice story here and here and here and here. Alternatively, if you missed the victory you can download the game here. Ok. PB was slightly tired and weery eyed while typing this blog so it lacks some peanut luster. But her happiness cannot be contained. Let's Go Phils!

09 October 2008

Are you doing it?


PB does it and so should all her Nuts! Even the Male Nuts! Feel your boobies...is a great place to start to find out basic information. PB loves the slogan of "Feel Your Boobies". Yes, this is a serious subject but sometimes a honey roast is what is needed for totally crunchy situations. Grab a cowpea and feel some boobies! Do me a chop and spread the word about feeling your boobies.


01 October 2008

MommaPB's Celebration Doll

Here is the link to MommaPB's celebration Doll created with smooth and creamy vibes by PB Smooth

http://www.celebrationchain.com/celebration/index.aspx?idNum=12918&tributeNum=1


October is...

Breast Cancer Awareness Month. PB has personally been touched by breast cancer when MommaPB was diagnosed a few years ago when she was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer. Yes, MommaPB received routine mammograms which did not detect the masses in her breasts. Fortunately, PB's Momma was persistent with the doctors and insurances companies and she prevailed. A more precise MRI revealed what doctors confirmed through blood tests, the spread of the cancer in her breasts to a tumor on her spine (although this tumor is what forced her into see the doctor in the first place). Long story short, MommaPB went through chemotherapy and radiation and has been cancer free for about 3 years! She survived a double mastectomy and has since received complete reconstruction. Since this is a somewhat serious post, PB will refrain from making some of the more "joshing" comments she does on occasion with MommaPB. So, please help those in your life who could be affected by this disease (including men). There are few simple things you can do: 1) Click on The Breast Cancer Site daily, 2) Create a Celebration doll through the Celebration Chain with AstraZeneca, 3) complete monthly self-exams, 4) Eat a healthy diet, 5) Exercise on a regular basis, and 6) Stay up to date on current research and make small donations where you can-Education is powerful.

26 September 2008

Proud Alum

PB is a proud alum of an all women's college nestled in Allentown, PA called Cedar Crest College. Earlier this week, Ms. Obama and Dr. Jill Biden were graciously hosted by my alma mater. The following link will take you to a video regarding the events from Channel 6 (Philadelphia) and the following link will take to another video from CBS 3 (Philadelphia). Nancy O'Dell of Access Hollywood was also on hand to have a little sit down with Ms. Obama. A number of other mainstream media outlets were also on hand to conduct numerous interviews on campus. If anyone has not been to the arboretum located on this fine campus, PB suggests making a visit. This campus is as beautiful as it is educational. There is a strong dedication to the promotion of women, which is evident in the development of one of the first and only Master level Forensic Science programs in the country (which by the way has been featured on Montel). PB is definitely proud to be part of this institution and fully supports their endeavors at promoting and enriching the lives of women.Nancy O'Dell of Access Hollywood filming outside Blaney Hall

16 September 2008

5th Annual Jif Most Creative Peanut Butter Sandwich contest

$25000 for Peanut Butter invention? Let's go Nuts! Jif is offering an amazing contest for parents. If your child is old enough to hold a spoon than your little cowpea is old enough to enter this contest. Show your creations on P.B. and Shady and we will do our best to pick out the most yummy recipe. And PB does not want to hear any of this, "well, cowpeas should not consume peanuts prior to being a certain age" business. (Ok PB is really just kidding about that-but 'rents you can try). P.B. promises that she will try them all. Peanut Butter is her favorite food after all.

Peanut Day

Skippy® Super Chunk®
It’s the ultimate peanut butter experience when you're looking for that extra crunch. Skippy Super Chunk has loads of real peanut pieces blended into every jar of great-tasting peanut butter.








Skippy® Creamy
It's the cream-of-the-crop when it comes to peanut butter. Skippy Creamy is made from only the freshest taste. In fact, 772 delicious peanuts are used to make every 16.3-oz jar of Skippy Creamy. It spreads on smooth and tastes great, so stock up now!









All Data are courtesy of Walmart

13 September 2008

Halloween Request for Erin

PB and Shady would officially like to ask our cowpea, Erin, to do us a chop and dress her dear son, Nicholas, in a peanut costume for Halloween.

Here are two name brand options:

Mulllins Square Peanut Baby Costume



Peanut Infant Costume (too bad they don't make them for ripe nuts)



Please Erin! Fulfill this spoon dream!

07 September 2008

Shelley Peanutza Visits Cooperstown!

A remix of some creamy pics from the last video with some new photos, all set to the theme song of the Mets! Let's Go METS!

06 September 2008

PB and Shady Video Premiere!

PB and Shady just completed their super smooth summer tour! Despite a few run-ins with some salty nuts, we ultimately had one of the creamiest summers ever!

We even pulled a carver and got our very own nuts, Shelley Peanutza (Mets player) and Peanut Rose (Phillies player), inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY. Jelly! Jelly!

Enjoy our video premiere! It is name brand! For shizzle my peanizzle!

05 September 2008

17 August 2008

Leukemia

PB has not done so well in her blogging for cancer. But, it is never too late to educate her Nuts.
Check out this site, Friends of Heroes to learn more. Also check out this site to learn how you can participate and possibly win a gift.

Leukemia is simply a blood cancer which forms in the bone marrow. When PB was just a little cowpea her symptoms consisted of fatigue, bruising, and other flu-like symptoms. Leukemia occurs when there are an abundant number of white blood cells (leukocytes). These fighter cells then deplete the necessary creation of Red Blood Cells. So, Nuts, too much of a good thing can be dangerous. There are many forms of Leukemia and some are more common than others. PB was affected by Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). PB recalls a story of another cowpea who was diagnosed with ALL when PB was. She inquisitively asked her Momma Nut, "Mommy, why do I have laundry detergent in my blood?" PB's friend was around 6 years of age when she asked this. This is the reality of cancer Nuts. It strikes whomever it wants to and knows no boundaries.

Nuts, pull a carver and check out how you can learn more about Leukemia by checking out the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. PB hopes to use Team in Training to train for a marathon (just as soon as she is healthy enough to start running consistently enough and begin strength training again). This is just one way she is going to give back to an agency which helped save PB's life. See how you Nuts can be smooth and creamy in other Nut's lives.

13 August 2008

PB's new Addition

PB welcomes her newest love Phanatic PB! He was created in a loving moment and in honor of PB's accomplishment this year. And she has promised to love him and always give him a home. Introducing for the first time ever in the PB and Shady forum....Phanatic PB

05 August 2008

Jelly!Jelly!

What do PB and Forest Gump have in common? Well, they were a'runnin'. Yes, Nuts you heard correctly PB is back to running. Tonight on her drive home, PB thought it was time to at least try and climb down the other side of the mountain. She intended to start slow beginning at week 1 of her 10 week run/walk program which includes alternating 4 mins of walking and 2 mins of running for 30 mins. So at the 16th minute PB was running and something in her brain clicked (maybe the power of the Dixie Chicks she was listening to?) and she just kept running for the remainder of the 14 minutes! She feels great! ahhhhhhhhh PB is so happy to be back in the saddle again. Nuts, moral is no matter how chuncky things seem there is usually is some creamy adventure waiting on the other side!

04 August 2008

PSA: Terror Alert! The Peanut Gang Strikes Again!

Last week, PB and Shady broke the news of Shady's crunchy encounter with a salty nut who verbally a-salted her on the 7 Train. At the time, we were not sure if this was a rogue nut acting alone, or part of the Peanut Gang from Yankee Stadium.

FYI: The Peanut Gang came about due to the social unrest in the peanut community during the Cracker Jacks vs. Crunch N' Munch controversy at Yankee Stadium a few years ago, when upper management wanted to replace Cracker Jacks with Crunch N' Munch. This chunky change included modifying the famous lines from Take Me Out to the Ballgame, from Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack, I don't care if I never get back to Buy me some peanuts and Crunch N' Munch, if my team loses I will hurl my lunch. Thankfully, due to fan outcry (the only creamy thing that Yankee fans have ever done), the change was not implemented, however the damage was done. Millions of American peanut families had undergone the strain of having their livelihoods threatened by outsourced Crunch N Munch nuts, thus creating a stressful and unstable environment for the younger peanut generation, who began forming peanut gangs.

Until this weekend, law enforcement believed that the Peanut Gang had limited its a-salts to New York City. Unfortunately, security cameras on an interstate train traveling from Pennsylvania to Massachusetts caught our own PB Smooth being a-salted by a member of the Peanut Gang who was apparently also on his way to Fenway to spread mayhem.

Study these pictures carefully, as Peanut Gang members seem to use a similar M.O.


Notice how the gang member is sidling up to PB Smooth while she's distracted, a similar technique used on Lil Shady.



PB Smooth feels violated when this salty gang member asks her, Do you want to lick my nuts?

Horrifying, we know. Thankfully, PB Smooth has fully recovered from her trauma.

In order to prevent social unrest in our pods, as well as future attacks, PB and Shady will now share with our cowpeas what we have learned thus far;

1) There are some rotten nuts in the world, even though the majority are good.
2) Replacing Cracker Jacks with Crunch N' Munch at the ballpark will always be a bad idea.
3) The lyrics to Take me Out to The Ballgame should not be messed with.
4) Yankee fans have done at least one creamy thing... but, it's only one.
5) ALWAYS STAY ALERT! The Peanut Gang is now an interstate operation!


This has been a PSA brought to you by your #1 source for useless information you can't live without, The PB and Shady Blog.

28 July 2008

Good Cause

So, Nuts most of you know P.B.'s crunchy story of Leukemia. Well, she has a new goal and would like all her smooth and creamy Nuts to assist. Often, P.B. is a big ol' goof but NUTS this is serious. She needs your help in helping The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. P.B. So check out this site for more information. Be prepared for some uplifting stories, some heartbreaking stories, and some reasons why P.B. gives her unconditional support to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.


Have you Seen this Salty Nut?



Apparently this salty nut thought it would be smooth and creamy to copy PB! Except his "salty" nut made it on the television. How crunchy! If any of you nuts have any information as to his whereabouts please inform PB. She needs to crack some shells. Just kidding, PB is a lover not a hater and would like to extend an invitation to this psuedonut to become part of the Nut Clusters!

For those nuts who do not know. PB celebrated her 30th birthday at Citizens Bank Park and all her guests wore these lovely additions along with Hawaiian leis. Apparently this Nut was in awe and copied her idea. PB is very flattered. This game too was at CBP (Mets v. Phillies)

"Nuts Said"


This is what caused PB's distraction on the 7 Train
Remember to support the Peanut Farmers of the United States

27 July 2008

PSA: Watch out for Salty Nuts!

P.B. Smooth and Lil' Shady were in New York City this weekend and came across a rogue nut who is terrorizing unsuspecting peanut lovers on the subway. Lil' Shady was verbally a-salted by this nut.

Here is Lil' Shady daydreaming about her first-place NY Mets.



Here is that sneaky nut sidling up next to Lil' Shady, who's completely unaware of the bedlam that will ensue.



Shady is horrified when this salty nut asks her, Do you want to see my pea-nus?



PB and Shady are asking all their cowpeas to always be on alert when riding public transportation. Although most nuts are friendly creatures, there are rotten nuts who attempt to spoil the whole bag. At this time, we are unsure if the nut that a-salted Shady is acting on his own or if he's part of the Nut Clusters peanut gang based at Yankee Stadium.

Suspect's Description

1 inch tall
hour glass figure
rough, bumpy shell
light tan colored
burn mark (possibly a gang tatoo) on his waist

He primarily attacks his victims with salty language as his lack of opposable thumbs prevents him from carrying other weapons. He is easily out-run as he has no legs. He was last seen on the 7 train leaving Shea Stadium at around 11:45PM on July 26, 2008.

Stay Alert! Be Safe! And please let us know if you see this nut!

This has been a PSA brought to you by your #1 source for useless information you can't live without, The PB and Shady Blog.

Peanut Eaters Gone Wild!

PB and Shady were recently caught by cameras filming the much anticipated Peanut Eaters Gone Wild! Real Peanut Eaters, Uncensored and Out of Control! This DVD starts out by demonstrating sexy and original ways to eat peanuts and develops into more...


Girl on girl on peanut action!


Sexy Asians eating peanuts!

21 July 2008

Shady Sundae

So, other than Miss PB Smooth, the creamiest, most supportive cowpea ever, no one really calls Shady a genius. Sure, one can earn a doctorate, but as Shady pays off her students loans instead of having an established career and home, she's beginning to believe that obtaining a doctorate doesn't make one all that bright after all. Anyhoo...

This Saturday, while PB was stalking Mr. Peanut in NYC, Shady was down the shore basking in the adoration of total strangers who were ooh-ing and ahh-ing and literally calling her a genius. Why? Because of her ice cream/toppings choice. If Shady knew that it was this easy to impress, she would have gone straight for the ice cream at age 22, instead of graduate school. Ah, regrets.

Peanuts, here is the "Shady" Sundae!
(no picture - was too distracted by the accolades and the awesomeness of the sundae)

Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
Caramel Sauce
Chopped Peanuts (mandatory!)
Whipped Cream (optional)

1 scoop = Lil' Shady
2 scoops = Shady
3 scoops = Mama Shady
4 scoops = Big Mama Shady
5 scoops = What are you thinking?! You will surely appear on an obesity special on Discovery Health or TLC

So, Shady encourages all nuts to try the Shady Sundae and see why it was all the buzz in Ocean Grove this weekend. Bonus points if you order it simply by name and expect your local ice cream parlor to know what you're ordering!

20 July 2008

Mr. Peanut makes it to Broadway


PB Smooth had a rather smooth and creamy day in the The Big Apple. She and a good friend decided to see a game at Yankee Stadium, not because they like the Yankees (they both have crunchy feelings toward the team) but because this is the House that Ruth built. It is one of the most historic baseball stadiums in the country and it will be no more after this season. In fact after today's game they will only have 29 more games to play there. The day started with that and ended with a spectacular spotting! None other than Mr. Peanut making his appearance on Broadway (next to the Hershey store of course). Congratulations Mr. Peanut and goodbye to the House that Ruth built.


10 July 2008

icantdeci.de!

Lil' Shady would like to share a creamy new app for iPhone. Don't worry, you goobers without an iPhone can still access the site from any browser. Basically, you submit an either/or quandary. Then, you answer five user-submitted quandaries and then are provided with the results of your own. If others star your quandary, thus denoting its significance, it stays in rotation longer. People also have the option to pass on quandaries for which they cannot decide.


To prove that humans will share their opinions about anything, I submitted the following:

To prove that humans will share their opinion about anything, even if they don't know what it means, I submitted the following:

To prove that humans will lie to avoid appearing ignorant, even in anonymous polls, I submitted the following:

Since all of you lovely peanuts who visit this page can make an educated choice in these quandaries, click the poll results above to vote! Don't forget to star so that these polls can stay in rotation!

06 July 2008

2nd best PB!

Help P.B. Smooth's favorite P.B. (Pat Burrell) get into the all-star game. P.B. thinks he is super smooth and creamy! Or the other smooth and creamy NY Mets David Wright. P.B. is attempting to be equal at providing 2 great baseball players with some attention.

04 July 2008

Goodbye...but Thank You!

PB says goodbye to the daily ingestion of pills and weekly injections of medicine. She is grateful for all the hard work the medicine did and prays that its hard work was enough to keep PB healthy for the rest of her life. So, ON America's Day of Independence PB also celebrates her independence from a disease that has ruled her life for the past 2 1/2 years (actually longer but PB will only recognize its destruction during the past 2 1/2 years) and from medication which has made her appreciate all the gifts she has and all her AMAZING friends who have helped her manage not to jump off any bridges or purchase any weapons which could cause bodily harm. Despite some losses she has gained a lot. So PB salutes her amazing friends today: Lil'Shady - Jelly! Jelly!, Erin - Jelly! Jelly!, and Kristen - Jelly! Jelly!

THANK YOU!

Now, PB is back to the couch.

27 June 2008

Discontinued?

PB was upset to find they have discontinued her favorite PB. Ok, they didn't even consult PB. What were they thinking? Now, PB is on the hunt for an equivalent. Her brand was Simply Jiff, which had 1/3 less sugar and calories w/o taking away the peanutty goodness. Any suggestions nuts? She does partake in the natural PB but needs a substitute for work. Speaking of work, PB is currently on the hunt for the coworker who has been eating her PB. Now, Pb doesn't mind sharing but not her PB when it is what she has been able to consume these last few weeks. If any of you nuts hear anything please be sure to pass it along to PB.

When are...

49, 14, 7, and 1 all equal numbers? When it means PB only has 1 more week of treatments! Now that is super smooth and creamy. PB is currently operating in survival mode, which is extremely primitive and any extra smiling, warmth, and energy is no longer available. She is pretty much crawling this last mile of the 48 mile marathon that she has been on for the past almost year of her life. Talk about totally crunchy. However, a new and improved PB, guaranteed freshness and satisfaction, will be unveiled July 5th. So save the dates nuts.

08 June 2008

Special Request

PB and Shady were asked to comment on MLB's recent crunchy occurrence at a Seattle Mariners game on May 26. For those of you nuts who do not know the story a recent lesbian couple was thrown out of the game for kissing. PB personally is not offended and has many nuts of differing shells. PB will say that she is not a personal fan of overindulging PDA (probably b/c PB just enjoys watching the game and frankly has a hard time concentrating on anything but). PB is tolerant of many different shells and ways to crack shells but is intolerant of salty practices b/c the shells are of differing colors. So PB thinks that as long as these nuts (weather of hetero or homo nuts) are engaging in a smooth with their honey nut to please remember there is a BALLGAME occurring on the field isn't this why hard earned shells are being spent? In the end, can we just play ball? PB and Shady would love to hear your Jelly! Jelly! comments on the story.

Smooth Surprise

PB wants to give a big Jelly! Jelly! to Ms. Kristen on her recent Bachelor of Science acquisition. Not only did she obtain this degree but was able to maintain a near perfect (3.99) GPA while working full time. Not an easy shell to crack by any stretch of the nut.

So she decided to have a peanut gallery to celebrate which was totally off the Nut! But this time she went above and beyond herself by providing PB with a smooth surprise at the peanut gallery. PB has been spinning her jar lately trying to determine if she is ready to begin the quest of finding her boy spoon dream. Ms. Kristen provided a totally name brand surprise. PB had invited a Principal Nut to this celebration, which he accepted but then it became chunky because plans fell through. Unknown to PB the chunky situation was resolved and he contacted Ms. Kristen to obtain directions to surprise PB. What a honey nut or what? This SMOOTHNESS NEVER happens to PB. She arrived fashionably late to the peanut gallery to find her honey principal nut friend eagerly awaiting her arrival. Wow! It definitely was no generic night for PB. So PB salutes Ms. Kristen and Principal nut for giving her a wonderful smooth surprise!

01 June 2008

Happy Birthday!


PB and Lil' shady wish Erin's words a big smooth and creamy Happy 30th birthday. Thanks for joining us Nuts. Fellow Nuts please stop by to wish her a wonderful day and give her a big Jelly! Jelly!

26 May 2008

Finally...

PB is finally back in the saddle again. She has decided that dating is worth another shot and she has met a very worthwhile prospect. Despite being energy depleted this man has provided her with a renewed interest in dating. Thus far, he has proven to be extremely creamy with his ability to provide PB with extra care. He has been totally smooth with PB's life circumstances and all her varied interests. Did PB also mention he is a nut of sports including baseball? Could he become PB's next boy cowpea? Is he PB's spoon dream? She certainly is not going to weevil any chances to not stick around and find out. PB does have some hesitation and he understands that PB is a little brittle right now since Idiot Boy's crunchy act of splitting from PB. So let's give Mr. PB Smooth a big Jelly!Jelly!

20 May 2008

HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY P.B. SMOOTH!


Birthday Haiku

today was the day
the world was never the same
you sprouted to life!

Love, Lil' Shady




BIRTHDAY CARD

19 May 2008

Pre-birthday Haiku

your friendship is like
a bag of fresh roasted nuts
warm and comforting

12 May 2008

The Winds of Change

PB can smell the roasted peanut dust in the air that there will be many exciting events and changes occurring in the next few weeks (and for Lil' Shady too). PB and her fellow Monkey Nut Lil Shady look forward to their upcoming ceremonial debut as doctors of psychology. Then they move onto a fun-filled day at the Ballpark where it will be all the peanuts a nut can eat. Third, PB will celebrate graciously another blessed year alive on this planet, humbly of course. Finally, the much anticipated return of So You Think You Can Dance will make its seasonal debut! PB is not sure how she will be able to contain all this smooth and creamy excitement?

27 April 2008

It Finally Happened!

April 26, 2008 was a totally historic moment. PB decided to take her 1 and only nephew cowpea to the Reading Phillies AA minor league baseball game last night! Now, her Nephew cowpea is not so found of America's favorite past time, so she was a little nervous. BUT he loved it. He even got his baseball signed by several of the players which made him giggle like a school girl. Ha ha. And that is when PB found her future husband. AHHHH and is it a coincidence that when PB glanced into his peanut shaped eyes, he looked at hers too? Ahhh sigh. so here is a little background information PB dug up on her new obsession with none other than LF Luke Appert. yes, Nuts, w/o even knowing it PB fell in love with yet another LFer. Nuts you must remember Mr. Pat Burrell also hailed from the R. Phils! He seems like a stand up guy? No? He is only 2 years younger than PB, which she can handle. So, there are several problems: 1) he lives in Minnesota, -which might be a fine state PB doesn't know and 2) he doesn't know PB exists - unless you count the 2 times he looked into PB's eyes and Momma PB asked him if he was married. PB might have been drooling at that point, not sure. Sigh. so if any of my fellow Nuts know Mr. Luke Appert would you kindly pass along my blog and tell him PB will gladly support his fine posterior until his big major league debut? And Mr. Luke Appert if you are reading this, THANK YOU, now will you marry PB? PB promises no peanut themed weddings (since so many nuts are allergic). And there was yet one more historical event that occurred but PB cannot share at this time since it is a secret. PB is not good at secrets. But in due time Nuts it will be revealed and PB can't wait!!!! PB salutes Luke Appert. How does Dr. PB Appert sound?

25 April 2008

Take 2 Haiku

PERSNIKITTY

trying to budget
but imogen drew the line -
generic cat food

IRONY

vexatious woman
questioning every food price
then forgot two bags

24 April 2008

What can Brown do for PB?

PB had to attend to some business at the East Petersburg post office Wednesday morning to make sure a sweet package arrived in Flushing, NY for a very dear friend. And many of you Nuts may know that the USPS can (and usually does) bring some creamy adventure. Well, Nuts on this very high pollen filled morning air, the postal gods were kind to PB and she had a smooth transition of the sweet goods to these wonderful federal workers. But wait... you ask what does Brown have to do with anything? As PB turned out of the parking lot she came face to face with a red light. "Darn, how salty." But then to PB's wondering eyes doth appear but a UPS truck with a very tanned legged driver! And right behind him another very cute tanned legged driver! And to make this even nuttier a third very cute tanned legged driver! Ahhh PB was in her PB&J. The gods were pleased with PB this day. She was very thankful to have the salty red light stop her in her trail. So UPS PB gives you a ginormous Jelly! Jelly! And PB thanks your muthas for producing such fine tanned legged men to ease PB's pollen filled eyes so early in the morning. PB also salutes her financial planning wizard friend in Flushing for requesting a sweet deal. Have a safe trip!

22 April 2008

Happy Earth Day!


Please remember to treat her kindly...

19 April 2008

PSA: Smelly Feet = Death


So, Shady was watching one of her favorite, on-in-the-background-while-doing-other-work-while-passing-the-time-until-the-Mets-game-comes-on-because-of-the-stupid-late-start-because-of-stupid-fox-saturday-baseball shows, Snapped, on the Oxygen Network.

In case you haven't seen this genius of a show, it features women who have, um, snapped, and killed someone because of what usually comes down to either 1) jealousy or 2) money.

Well, today my nuts, this is what happened. Woman sends friend insulting email, in which she tells her that her feet smell bad. Woman later chainsaws to death said smelly foot friend in the basement and disposes of her body in parts at the local dump. Those must have been some smelly *ss feet.

Death over smelly feet is not an isolated incident.

This article is about a man who stabbed his roommate to death after being insulted about his smelly feet.

Smelly feet also caused a stink in Berlin earlier this year when police were called to a residence over a foul smelling corpse. Turns out it was *only* a tenant's malodorous feet.

What can we do about this nuts?

Industrious Japanese inventors are working on mint shoes to help people avoid the "shame of smelly feet." Anyone smell a Nobel Peace Prize?

So, nuts, as summer approaches and your feet are given the opportunity to breathe, remember to take gentle care of your feet, and to take insults about your feet seriously. Remember, Shady's simple equation: Smelly Feet = Death.

This has been a PSA brought to you by your #1 source for useless information you can't live without, The PB and Shady Blog.

09 April 2008

We are Over means...

Could you Nuts please enlighten PB's jar and tell her what part of "I Know we are Over" implies that PB still wants to have a romantic relationship? Yes, PB too was perplexed by this and has yet to be able to figure that out. Apparently the Ex Boy Cowpea is dumber than she thought. Crunch this Nuts. The ex Boy Cowpea does not have the figurative nuts to tell her that he wants this to be over BUT has the figurative nuts to assume PB still wants some kind of relationship after he comes out of the weevil induced fog that is occupying the space where his once intelligent brain resided. Tsk Tsk Boy Cowpea. PB only wanted to be friends sorry she no longer wishes to have you as her #1 Boy Cowpea. Watch out Boy Cowpeas... PB will soon be ready to crack some Nuts (well figuratively speaking of course since PB is a lover not a hater)!

06 April 2008

Baseball and PB have their own Lingo...coincidence?

PB thinks not. So here you go nuts some commonly used words/phrases in baseball (just in time for the beginning of the season for those not as familiar with the lingo). Information provided by http://philadelphia.phillies.mlb.com/mlb/official_info/baseball_basics/lingo.jsp

Baseball Basics: Lingo
A fan's guide to commonly-used terms and phrases.

ace -- A team's best starting pitcher.
alley-- The section of the outfield between the outfielders. Also "gap."
around the horn-- A double play going from third base to second to first.
backdoor slider -- A pitch that appears to be out of the strike zone, but then breaks back over the plate.
bag -- A base.
Baltimore chop -- A ground ball that hits in front of home plate (or off of it) and takes a large hop over the infielder's head.
bandbox-- A small ballpark that favors hitters.
bang-bang play -- A play in which the baserunner hits the bag a split-second before the ball arrives or vice versa.
basket catch -- When a fielder catches a ball with his glove near belt level.
Bronx cheer -- When the crowd boos.
brushback -- A pitch that nearly hits a batter.
bush -- Also "bush league." An amateur play or behavior.
can of corn -- An easy catch by a fielder.
caught looking -- When a batter is called out on strikes.
cellar -- Last place. Also "basement."
cheese -- Also "good cheese." Refers to a good fastball.
chin music -- A pitch that is high and inside.
circus catch -- An outstanding catch by a fielder.
closer -- A team's relief pitcher who finishes the game.
cutter -- A cut fastball (one with a late break to it).
cycle -- When a batter hits a single, double, triple and home run in the same game.
dinger -- A home run.
dish -- Home plate.
fireman -- A team's closer or late-inning relief pitcher.
fungo -- A ball hit to a fielder during practice. It's usually hit by a coach using a "fungo bat," which is longer and thinner than a normal bat.
gap -- See "alley." A ball hit here is a "gapper."
gopher ball -- A pitch hit for a home run, as in "go for."
heat -- A good fastball. Also "heater."
high and tight -- Referring to a pitch that's up in the strike zone and inside on a hitter. Also known as "up and in."
hill -- Pitcher's mound.
homer -- A home run. Other terms include: blast, dinger, dong, four-bagger, four-base knock, moon shot, tape-measure blast and tater.
hot corner -- Third base.
in the hole -- The batter after the on-deck hitter.
jam -- When a hitter gets a pitch near his hands, he is "jammed." Also when a pitcher gets himself in trouble, he is in a "jam."
leather -- Refers to how good a player plays defensively or handles the glove. Ex: "He flashed some leather on that play."
meatball -- An easy pitch to hit, usually right down the middle of the plate.
Mendoza line -- A batting average of around .200.
moon shot -- A very long, high home run.
nail down -- As in "nail down a victory." Refers to a relief pitcher finishing off the game.
on the screws -- When a batter hits the ball hard. Also "on the button."
painting the black -- When a pitcher throws the ball over the edge of the plate.
pea -- A ball traveling at high speed, either batted or thrown.
pepper -- Pepper is a common pre-game exercise where one player bunts brisk grounders and line drives to a group of fielders who are standing about 20 feet away. The fielders try to throw it back as quickly as possible. The batter hits the return throw. (Some ballparks ban pepper games because wild pitches could land in the stands and injure spectators).
pick -- A good defensive play by an infielder on a ground ball. Also a shortened version of "pick-off."
pickle -- A rundown.
punchout -- A strikeout.
rhubarb -- A fight or scuffle.
ribbie -- Another way of saying RBI. Also "ribeye."
rope -- A hard line drive hit by a batter. Also "frozen rope."
rubber game -- The deciding game of a series.
run-down -- When a baserunner gets caught between bases by the fielders.
Ruthian -- With great power.
seeing-eye single -- A soft ground ball that finds its way between infielders for a base hit.
set-up man -- A relief pitcher who usually enters the game in the 7th or 8th inning.
shoestring catch -- A running catch made just above the fielder's shoetops.
southpaw -- A left-handed pitcher.
sweet spot -- The part of the bat just a few inches from the barrel.
table setter -- Batter whose job is to get on base for other hitters to drive him in. Usually a leadoff or No. 2 hitter.
tape-measure blast -- An extremely long home run.
tater -- A home run.
Texas Leaguer -- A bloop hit that drops between an infielder and outfielder.
tools of ignorance -- Catcher's equipment.
touch 'em all -- Hitting a home run (touching all the bases).
twin killing -- A double play.
Uncle Charlie -- Curve ball.
utility player -- A player who fills in at many positions.
wheelhouse -- A hitter's power zone. Usually a pitch waist-high and over the heart of the plate.
wheels -- A ballplayer's legs.
whiff -- Strikeout.
yakker -- Curve ball.

Prepared by the Publishing Department of Major League Baseball Properties.

05 April 2008

1 Step Back, 2 Steps Forward

"The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." - Chinese Proverb
It is no secret that PB has gone through a number of crunchy weevils in her short lifetime on the planet Earth. And there are times when she is overly discouraged with her "so-called" Life but then she reads things like the above saying. The title of this blog really expresses PB's life. Most people often say it in reverse "2 steps back, 1 step forward". How negativistic can we be? So do PB a chop and let her impart her words of peanuts upon all you Nuts.

First, when PB is faced with crunchy situations she will often take a day (or week) to cry, yell, vent, buy peanut company stock, purchase new threads, eat a ton of chocolate covered peanuts, etc. She calls this her cleansing process. Now, mind you Nuts, PB does this for those crunchy situations that cause major life disruptions (i.e. Boy Cowpea of 8 months decides that he can't handle the truth anymore after giving PB support for those 8 months and runs away with his tail between his legs like a coward rather than facing whatever is causing such distress not when you break a fingernail). After she has pulled herself together she then develops a plan with several goals in mind. This helps her put her head down and plunge forward. Nuts, Life is short and we might lose sometimes but think about all those times when you won even more than expected. So this recent crunchy event has helped PB refocus. She was dwelling on what she hasn't been able to do for the last 8 months or so (thanks to the reminder by a certain Lil Shady and Erin). This was consistently bringing her down and then Boy Cowpea did the unthinkable and frankly she needs to thank him. It reminded PB of everything she has been able to do during the last 8 months of chemotherapy: 1) work full time, 2) study (or try) for licensure exam, 3) root for the Eagles & Phillies with emotion (PB would be disqualified from the Philly fan club if she didn't), 4) spend time with friends, 5) spend time with her Nephew Cowpea, 6) enjoy the simple things in life, 7) bird watch, 8) pray, 9) slow down (which PB finds the hardest of all the things), and the list goes on... so Nuts despite this totally crunchy situation (chemotherapy and Boy Cowpea), PB has a lot for which to be thankful.

Finally, what has PB done to combat her anxiety and this totally crunchy situation. Well, she developed a plan, recognized that this was not about her, realized that Boy Cowpea has some issues he needs to work on, and finally she said that this was beyond her control (and PB doesn't like things beyond her control who does?) and said she can only keep her side of the street clean. So, in the end PB has become more devoted to her spirituality, has started reconnecting with some friends she has lost contact (PB's facebook friend's list grows daily), been doing things she didn't have time for before b/c she was spending time with Boy Cowpea (like cleaning those dust bunnies from under the bed - don't worry fellow Nuts PB never overdoes it and only tackles 1 chore every other night or so), been able to spend some time with Momma PB, and best of all devote time to the Phillies (Boy Cowpea was not a baseball fan - he would watch it but not with the same vigor PB does - was that a sign from the baseball gods or what?) So nuts take from all this when life throws unspeakably crunchy situations your way remember the 3 R's: redirection, refocus, and recommitment. There is no need to work extra hard when these things happen just figure out a what went wrong (to the best of your ability - at least on your end) and make a plan for it to not happen again. And let's just say if PB can have this attitude, most people can (and PB's life isn't near as hard as others- just sucks some of the time).

"Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance." - Samuel Johnson

03 April 2008

Have any of you Nuts seen Lil' Shady?


Lil' Shady has been M.I.A. on the blog? PB fears the chunky rift among Mr. Peanut, Mr. Met, and the Philly Phanatic may have driven her to seek out other less than smooth Nuts. Is it true? If any of PB's Nuts have seen Lil' Shady let her know she is missed.

02 April 2008

Happy PB&J day!


Hey Nuts. Make sure to squeeze that PB&J in your life a little extra hard tonight. Afterall it is PB&J day.

31 March 2008

Baseball Quotes of the Day

"There is always some kid who may be seeing me for the first or last time, I owe him my best.”

“You always get a special kick on opening day, no matter how many you go through. You look forward to it like a birthday party when you're a kid. You think something wonderful is going to happen.”

“A person always doing his or her best becomes a natural leader, just by example.”

-Joe DiMaggio

The Creamy Smooth Day has Arrived...finally



Ahh Baseball! Need PB say more? Baseball!

Now, this is where my Nutter Lil' Shady and PB disagree. We do not see shell to shell on our favorite baseball teams. That being said PB and Lil' Shady will unite their baseball cream when it comes to rooting against those axis of evil teams, i.e. New York Yankees (PB has as many crunchy feelings about them as she does about the Dallas Cowgirls). so Nuts there will be many roasts occurring on this blog from now until October. 160 glorious games to play, yet. PB hopes to set an annual record of ballgames attended this year. So any of you other Nuts out there like baseball and want to catch some cracks at the bat you just jelly! jelly! PB and we will spin on into the ballpark!


PB watched her 1st smooth baseball game from a close friend's pod last evening. Ahh the smoothness of Joe Morgan and Jon Miller's voices just soothes PB's frazzled and frayed nerves. Now the only other baseball voice which makes PB just melt into extra creaminess is that of none other than the Philadelphia Phillies broadcaster, Harry Kalas. PB finds his broadcasting style enjoyable, albeit Mr. Kalas has been making a few more mistakes over these past years. Nonetheless, he is a baseball great. PB salutes PB's pick of the week as a baseball great!


26 March 2008

Quotes for those half shell kind of days (or PBesque lives)

Bhagavad Gita – it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.

Courage is doing what you are afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
-Eddie Rickenbacher

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.
-Buddha

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to think, to enjoy, to love.
-Marcus Aurelius

Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.
-william James

"These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death."
-Thomas Paine, The Crisis, 1776


Character is much easier kept than recovered.
-Thomas Paine

The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.
-Thomas Paine

For the Love of Butter PB gets Philosophical

PB knows her Nut Clusters are wondering where she has been amidst the scandalous rift between Mr. Peanut, Mr. Met, and the Philly Phanatic. Well, some uncontrollable events which occurred when PB was just a 7 year old cowpea have caused some other unfortunate events to occur which in turn caused some others to make decisions about the future of PB and her heart. In other words… PB had been dating a wonderful male Cowpea for almost a year prior to him deciding to break the shell that bound them together! It turns out this Mr. Male Cowpea is having some serious crunch feelings regarding the decisions we have to make as adult Nuts. …Let’s start at the very beginning. When PB was a 7 year old cowpea she was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL – and not the laundry detergent Nuts). She received 2 years of chemotherapy but received many many years of amazing adventures at a summer camp just for kids with cancer (so that is the smooth and creamy side). But the story does get sad during her treatment PB unfortunately contracted another disease as a result of the ALL, which she thought she would be able to live with and be just fine. Well, much to PB’s chunky dismay this has not been so. Turns out 2 years ago PB learned she would have to undergo intense! (beyond chunky) treatments which are akin to chemotherapy. Sigh. PB had many sleepless nights agonizing over what the right decision should be and frankly how to come up with the right decision still perplexes PB. Finally, she decided it would be the best thing for herself and her future life expectancy to follow through with the treatments. PB understands her obligations to her fellow Nuts and wants to continue the tour for a very long time. … Fast forward to current day… PB decided to start dating prior to starting treatments… met this Boy Cowpea and things started slowly and she then told him what she would be experiencing and all about her disease. She explained all the risks and side effects. He decided to stick by PB(likw jelly) and offered unending support of her during the beginning and middle stages of treatment. It was not until recently that PB learned he had other feelings which did not lend to wanting to be with PB anymore. Now, what scrapes PB’s shell is that he is getting extremely wrong information and has not been listening to PB. Furthermore, PB recognizes that this has nothing to do with PB but everything to do with this Boy Cowpea and his intense anxious feelings regarding feelings and health. She realized that any time he has been in a relationship for this period of time and the shell gets put in the roaster he cracks and splits off (as if to run away with a cashew- and all us nuts know the cashew is the easy way out in the nut world). PB recognized that he seems to struggle with those innermost feelings that we have for nuts when we coincide in the same shell. So PB asks that you not have crunchy or chunky feelings towards this Boy Cowpea but instead send him smooth and creamy thoughts. Afterall, PB is a lover not a hater and she honestly prays that Boy Cowpea will be able to find peace and see that this is going to be a life long issue unless he faces the fact that relationships are: 1) hard, 2) about the difficult times in life not the smooth and creamy ones, 3) not guaranteed to be smooth sailing, and 4) are not always 50/50. Nuts, life is not guaranteed, nothing is. Everything can change in a split second (there are too many examples and too numerous to mention) and PB honestly feels life is greater in love but it is a risky pursuit but so very worth the extra step to break the proverbial shell. So wish my Boy Cowpea well and pray that he may be able to do some self-examination and reflection that can provide him with growth that will be necessary for him to sustain a meaningful relationship. PB has analyzed and fully understands that he is doing what most men will do when faced with those...dare PB say it...e-m-o-t-i-o-n-s. Remember Nuts always get accurate information from the expert Nuts and always be honest. Talk about things and seek out the experts when you need to. PB would also like to say that even though someone might have an illness, that doesn't change who that person is, especially if you say "I love you". There are no buts in love... keep it on the half shell ya'all. PB would love to hear any words of wisdom and support that all her Nuts have to offer. Also pass out PB's blogs to all your other blogger friends. Next post will consist of some great quotes to get you Nuts through those split shell kind of days (or lives if you are PB).

05 March 2008

Breaking News: Nutty Rift is a "Threat to National Security"


March 5, 2008 – Washington, D.C. – The Washington elite gathered at the White House this morning in response to the ongoing Mr. Peanut/Mr. Met dramedy. The press conference began with Condoleezza Rice declaring the rift between the two mascots to be a “threat to national security” and urging the two sides to “reconcile as quickly as possible.” Meanwhile, President Bush expressed concern that the conflict in the peanut world was interfering with the celebration of his favorite national celebration, Peanut month, which began March 1st, and will end with the 1,000,000 Peanut March in D.C. at the end of the month.

The successful resolution of Peanut Gate was also a top priority to the presidential candidates. Barack Obama was quoted in Texas last night as stating, "Yes we can end the peanut feud!". In response, Hillary Clinton, who was spending the night in Ohio, accused Obama of making empty promises and pointed to her 35 years of being a nutter as evidence that she is the best candidate to restore relations between Mr. Met and Mr Peanut.

In the most promising moment of the press conference, Mr. Met received a text message from Mr. Peanut offering to meet with Mets officials in a closed door meeting to discuss their dispute. The large crowd erupted in applause when Mr. Met shared the news with them, although no other details of the meeting were disclosed. Mr. Met left the press conference in the MetsMobile, waving to fans and flashing his large plastered smile, but it was unclear whether or not he was headed directly to the meeting with Mr. Peanut.

Stay tuned to PB and Shady for the latest developments in this ongoing dramedy!

02 March 2008

PB hits the proverbial Brick Wall



PB has figured out what she has been experiencing. The chunky and crunchy feelings are most likely related to her “hitting the wall”. As she was watching the Discovery Channel’s presentation on the Human Body: Pushing the Limits, she realized that her chunkiness is a result of this phenomenon that most athletes experience. Even when PB was running a smooth 9:00 mile she had difficulty getting over this proverbial brick wall. For some reason her brain has difficulty switching into this mode of “survival”. As most of you Nuts know she has been going through the most salty weevil of things in her life and has been struggling to find a way to make it a honey roast. Well, Nuts no such luck. But maybe there is something to be said of this Brick Wall? So there are many creamy and smooth ways for a marathon runner to grind through this chunky brick wall but what about PB's slower more Natural Peanut Butter brain who needs to be stirred on occasion? What's a nut to do? In PB's search for the miraculous solution she came upon an energy diagram which is seen below. It has been determined that PB needs to become a smooth and creamy Player rather than Spectator! So Nuts could you do me a Chop and send me some smooth and creamy vibes? PB being a player will all be new but maybe with it being Peanut month and all PB could find some inner nut strength! Please unshell any nutrageous ideas you might have to provide PB with some insight to crack the shell of the proverbial brick wall.

28 February 2008

Breaking News: Crunchy Deal Witnessed?


February 28, 2008 - Port St. Lucie, Florida - In a surprising twist in the ongoing Mr. Peanut/Mr. Met dramedy, an anonymous source leaked a photo of Mr. Peanut apparently shaking hands with an unidentified nut after an exchange of a large, unmarked envelope and a pound of peanuts. At this time, authorities are asking the peanut gallery to come forward if they have any details concerning the nature of this exchange.

Mr. Met, in Port St. Lucie for Spring training with the Mets, was visibly shocked when asked to comment on the photograph. The plastic smile on the unflappingly happy humanoid appeared to melt into an undeniable frown, while large painted tears mysteriously appeared. Mr. Met mumbled "no comment" and was quickly ushered to a chartered jet, presumably on his way to an official press conference scheduled by the Mets in New York later today.

As always, stay tuned to P.B. and Shady for all the latest developments in the peanut world!

27 February 2008

Breaking News: Nutty Rift Confirmed!

February 27, 2008 – New York, New York – In what can only be called a shocking turn of events, Mr. Peanut, the mascot of Planters Peanuts and a long-time fan of the New York Mets, officially declared his allegiance to the Philadelphia Phillies, confirming the rumored rift between himself and Mr. Met, the beloved mascot of the New York Mets. The much anticipated press release comes on the heels of an inflammatory picture of Mr. Peanut in Phillies clothing that was posted on the #1 investigative peanut blog, P.B. and Shady. Although Mr. Peanut's words were brief, his reference to Mr. Met as a "bulbous baseball buffoon" clearly confirmed the dissolution of his long-standing friendship with Mr. Met and the New York Mets organization.

Mr. Peanut, an anthropomorphic peanut dressed as an old-fashioned gentleman, had been a fan of the New York Mets since the baseball team’s establishment in 1962, and was hired by the team in 1963 to mentor Mr. Met, the baseball-headed humanoid who wears a Mets cap and uniform. Mr. Met stated that he was deeply saddened by the picture of his former mentor in Phillies gear and his subsequent statements, calling Mr. Peanut’s actions a “personal attack” and “anything but gentleman-like,” given the well documented feud between Mr. Met and the Phillie Phanatic, the furry, foul-smelling, clumsy mascot of the Philadelphia Phillies.

The salty roast of Mr. Met by Mr. Peanut was just the latest development in the bizarre chain of events involving the beleagured mascot. According to a source close to Mr. Peanut who spoke on the condition on anonymity, the peanut’s downward spiral began in 2006, when Planters Peanuts proposed that Mr. Peanut’s old-fashioned clothing required an update, and encouraged fans to vote for changes, including a “wife beater” and a dude rag. Although fans ultimately voted for “no change”, Mr. Peanut’s ego was shaken by his company’s apparent lack of confidence in the awesomeness of his spats. His rotten mood allegedly spoiled his relationships with his closest mascot friends, including Sprout, who he called “a precocious bastard.” Sprout’s green-skinned foster giant retorted that Mr. Peanut was “obviously a salty nut who was green with envy.”

In September 2007, an alleged rift between Mr. Met and Mr. Peanut was speculated when all of the peanuts mysteriously disappeared from Shea Stadium. Although no arrests were made, a Mets food vendor assisted police artists in rendering a drawing [shown left] of the alleged suspect. An angry confrontation between Mr. Met and Mr. Peanut in the Mets locker room was observed in horror by the Mets players, although Manager Willie Randolph forbade his players from commenting on the situation. However, sources close to the Mets believe that “Peanut Gate” resulted in a player distraction from which the team never recovered, and may have been to blame for the Mets’ historic collapse at the end of the 2007 season.

In response to today’s press release by Mr. Peanut, The New York Mets announced that they will be holding a press conference soon to address Mr. Mets' relationship with Mr. Peanut. Coverage of the press conference will be available exclusively on the P.B. and Shady blog as this historic story unfolds.