Onto a New Jar

PB is proud to announce that she has successfully completed all the necessary requirements to be considered a psychologist... or at least to legally be able to call herself a psychologist (when she is not working on her next album of course). So for all of you Nut Clusters that provided her with smooth and creamy vibes on the 11th and 12th Dec she thanks you. PB's spoon dreams are all coming true...sometimes Nuts it takes a few extra innings to win the game...but remember the game is not over until the last strike! Until then Nuts keep your eye on the ball and PB promises that eventually it will be hit out of the park. Well, metaphorically speaking of course since PB does not think she could literally hit a major league baseball out of a major league baseball park, unless of course she was roiding. Thanks again Nuts!

Special Request

PB and Shady were asked to comment on MLB's recent crunchy occurrence at a Seattle Mariners game on May 26. For those of you nuts who do not know the story a recent lesbian couple was thrown out of the game for kissing. PB personally is not offended and has many nuts of differing shells. PB will say that she is not a personal fan of overindulging PDA (probably b/c PB just enjoys watching the game and frankly has a hard time concentrating on anything but). PB is tolerant of many different shells and ways to crack shells but is intolerant of salty practices b/c the shells are of differing colors. So PB thinks that as long as these nuts (weather of hetero or homo nuts) are engaging in a smooth with their honey nut to please remember there is a BALLGAME occurring on the field isn't this why hard earned shells are being spent? In the end, can we just play ball? PB and Shady would love to hear your Jelly! Jelly! comments on the story.

It Finally Happened!

April 26, 2008 was a totally historic moment. PB decided to take her 1 and only nephew cowpea to the Reading Phillies AA minor league baseball game last night! Now, her Nephew cowpea is not so found of America's favorite past time, so she was a little nervous. BUT he loved it. He even got his baseball signed by several of the players which made him giggle like a school girl. Ha ha. And that is when PB found her future husband. AHHHH and is it a coincidence that when PB glanced into his peanut shaped eyes, he looked at hers too? Ahhh sigh. so here is a little background information PB dug up on her new obsession with none other than LF Luke Appert. yes, Nuts, w/o even knowing it PB fell in love with yet another LFer. Nuts you must remember Mr. Pat Burrell also hailed from the R. Phils! He seems like a stand up guy? No? He is only 2 years younger than PB, which she can handle. So, there are several problems: 1) he lives in Minnesota, -which might be a fine state PB doesn't know and 2) he doesn't know PB exists - unless you count the 2 times he looked into PB's eyes and Momma PB asked him if he was married. PB might have been drooling at that point, not sure. Sigh. so if any of my fellow Nuts know Mr. Luke Appert would you kindly pass along my blog and tell him PB will gladly support his fine posterior until his big major league debut? And Mr. Luke Appert if you are reading this, THANK YOU, now will you marry PB? PB promises no peanut themed weddings (since so many nuts are allergic). And there was yet one more historical event that occurred but PB cannot share at this time since it is a secret. PB is not good at secrets. But in due time Nuts it will be revealed and PB can't wait!!!! PB salutes Luke Appert. How does Dr. PB Appert sound?

Baseball and PB have their own Lingo...coincidence?

PB thinks not. So here you go nuts some commonly used words/phrases in baseball (just in time for the beginning of the season for those not as familiar with the lingo). Information provided by http://philadelphia.phillies.mlb.com/mlb/official_info/baseball_basics/lingo.jsp

Baseball Basics: Lingo

A fan's guide to commonly-used terms and phrases.

ace -- A team's best starting pitcher.

alley-- The section of the outfield between the outfielders. Also "gap."

around the horn-- A double play going from third base to second to first.

backdoor slider -- A pitch that appears to be out of the strike zone, but then breaks back over the plate.
bag -- A base.

Baltimore chop -- A ground ball that hits in front of home plate (or off of it) and takes a large hop over the infielder's head.

bandbox-- A small ballpark that favors hitters.

bang-bang play -- A play in which the baserunner hits the bag a split-second before the ball arrives or vice versa.

basket catch -- When a fielder catches a ball with his glove near belt level.

Bronx cheer -- When the crowd boos.
brushback -- A pitch that nearly hits a batter.

bush -- Also "bush league." An amateur play or behavior.
can of corn -- An easy catch by a fielder.

caught looking -- When a batter is called out on strikes.

cellar -- Last place. Also "basement."

cheese -- Also "good cheese." Refers to a good fastball.

chin music -- A pitch that is high and inside.

circus catch -- An outstanding catch by a fielder.

closer -- A team's relief pitcher who finishes the game.

cutter -- A cut fastball (one with a late break to it).

cycle -- When a batter hits a single, double, triple and home run in the same game.

dinger -- A home run.

dish -- Home plate.

fireman -- A team's closer or late-inning relief pitcher.
fungo -- A ball hit to a fielder during practice. It's usually hit by a coach using a "fungo bat," which is longer and thinner than a normal bat.

gap -- See "alley." A ball hit here is a "gapper."
gopher ball -- A pitch hit for a home run, as in "go for."

heat -- A good fastball. Also "heater."

high and tight -- Referring to a pitch that's up in the strike zone and inside on a hitter. Also known as "up and in."

hill -- Pitcher's mound.

homer -- A home run. Other terms include: blast, dinger, dong, four-bagger, four-base knock, moon shot, tape-measure blast and tater.

hot corner -- Third base.

in the hole -- The batter after the on-deck hitter.

jam -- When a hitter gets a pitch near his hands, he is "jammed." Also when a pitcher gets himself in trouble, he is in a "jam."

leather -- Refers to how good a player plays defensively or handles the glove. Ex: "He flashed some leather on that play."

meatball -- An easy pitch to hit, usually right down the middle of the plate.

Mendoza line -- A batting average of around .200.

moon shot -- A very long, high home run.

nail down -- As in "nail down a victory." Refers to a relief pitcher finishing off the game.

on the screws -- When a batter hits the ball hard. Also "on the button."

painting the black -- When a pitcher throws the ball over the edge of the plate.

pea -- A ball traveling at high speed, either batted or thrown.

pepper -- Pepper is a common pre-game exercise where one player bunts brisk grounders and line drives to a group of fielders who are standing about 20 feet away. The fielders try to throw it back as quickly as possible. The batter hits the return throw. (Some ballparks ban pepper games because wild pitches could land in the stands and injure spectators).

pick -- A good defensive play by an infielder on a ground ball. Also a shortened version of "pick-off."

pickle -- A rundown.

punchout -- A strikeout.

rhubarb -- A fight or scuffle.

ribbie -- Another way of saying RBI. Also "ribeye."

rope -- A hard line drive hit by a batter. Also "frozen rope."

rubber game -- The deciding game of a series.

run-down -- When a baserunner gets caught between bases by the fielders.

Ruthian -- With great power.

seeing-eye single -- A soft ground ball that finds its way between infielders for a base hit.

set-up man -- A relief pitcher who usually enters the game in the 7th or 8th inning.

shoestring catch -- A running catch made just above the fielder's shoetops.
southpaw -- A left-handed pitcher.

sweet spot -- The part of the bat just a few inches from the barrel.

table setter -- Batter whose job is to get on base for other hitters to drive him in. Usually a leadoff or No. 2 hitter.

tape-measure blast -- An extremely long home run.

tater -- A home run.

Texas Leaguer -- A bloop hit that drops between an infielder and outfielder.

tools of ignorance -- Catcher's equipment.

touch 'em all -- Hitting a home run (touching all the bases).

twin killing -- A double play.

Uncle Charlie -- Curve ball.

utility player -- A player who fills in at many positions.

wheelhouse -- A hitter's power zone. Usually a pitch waist-high and over the heart of the plate.

wheels -- A ballplayer's legs.

whiff -- Strikeout.

yakker -- Curve ball.

Prepared by the Publishing Department of Major League Baseball Properties.

PB has a Date

PB is filled with anxiety as she awaits her first date. It is as if she is going to meet the man that will become her husband. PB stresses what to wear, which hat will be the most appropriate? Which flip flops are the best for today’s weather? PB anticipates the smells of pine tar, hot dogs, beer, and PEANUTS! Yes, PB has a date with the opening of BASEBALL season. 162 games to play and they ALL count. So in honor of this opening game PB has developed her list of the 25 reasons why Baseball is superior to say… Football. PB enjoys football and watches it religiously but given a choice between the two…shells down…Baseball. She would like to credit some of the ideas to Washington Post’s Thomas Boswell who in 1987 wrote the 99 reasons why baseball is better than football, which was ingenious. PB has tried to add her PB flair to her list of 25. Play Ball!

PB's 25 Reason's why Baseball is Great
1. The uniqueness of each and every ballpark. Some bad, some ugly, some fan friendly, some hitter park friendly, the foul poles, the turf, the wind, the size, any unusual obstacles in the outfield?
2.Love him or hate him even George Steinbrenner saw the light
3. Abott and Costello (and a side note that Costello was a Peanut vendor in the skit)- how can you not laugh when you even think about the 4 minute exchange of Who’s on First?
4. Fans in flip flops and shorts holding a cold beer!
5. Take me out to the Ballgame 7th inning stretch is as universal as the National Anthem
6. Bubblegum blowing relief pitchers, catchers, managers, and mascots – no headsets here
7. Head coach vs. umpire showdowns. There is nothing better than dirt being kicked on an ump by an angry manager or maybe spit flying in an ump’s face? Nuts decide
8. Batting practice
9. Fly, Foul, or Homerun Balls
10. Plenty of time to get a hot dog, use the restroom, and enjoy the view
11. 162 games which are available on several mediums and some are free to all. The nostalgia of AM radio and a baseball game
12. Baseball has manners – no coin toss here
13. Baseball equipment: bat, ball, cup and helmet. Football equipment: cup, helmet, mouth guard, face guard, pads, gloves, darkened out mask guard, bling, etc.
14. Baseball players play the entire game unless they are Aaron Rowand and make an outstanding sacrifice of the body while still MAKING the play!
15. 9 innings to make a comeback with no 2 minute warning
16. No ONE watches the World Series for the commercials
17. Every baseball team has the same types of schedule – each team will play easy and hard teams no need to modify schedules to create competitiveness
18. No flags. We know when it’s a homerun, we don’t wait with baited breath to see if it is a Homerun or not
19. A baseball team changes each year even with the same players and managers
20. Baseball is easier to watch in any form. Football has many points of focus, watch one and you miss a ton of other important information.
21. Every baseball player counts and they all need to be working together at the same time.
22. You never see a team ask a crowd to be quiet
23. It takes control and moderation to win the game of baseball not bruit force
24. Doubleheaders
25. Baseball players have far superior posteriors than football players – no added pads there female nuts.

Nuts feel free to leave comments as to why Baseball is so great.

Baseball Life Lessons

Here are Shady's top 20 life lessons she has learned from baseball:

20. Things are often more complicated than they look.
19. Be ready to play every day...
18. But everybody needs a day off sometimes.
17. Versatility and depth will bring success, especially when the game goes long.
16. It’s not over ‘til it’s over!
15. There is no time limit on winning.
14. It’s normal to strike out sometimes.
13. An amazing play can happen at any moment.
12. The most important game is the one being played at that moment.
11. Small changes can produce large results.
10. Everyone is important.
9. Anyone can be a hero.
8. No one can win alone.
7. Long term results matter more than short term results.
6. The best plays involve many people doing their very best.
5. Sometimes you have to take it one base at a time.
4. Losing streaks are inevitable, but so are winning streaks.
3. Sometimes you have to allow others to help you arrive safely home.
2. Stealing is okay, as long as you don’t get caught! (just kidding)
1. Nothing is better than celebrating at home (plate) with your friends.

P.B. says Goodbye...

... to her overpriced cable. Now those that know the Name Brand P.B. know that she enjoys a wide variety of entertainment from Fox News to BBC to Baseball to NFL to well all you Nuts get the picture. Her decision even came after making fun of her Boy Cowpea for having $9 cable (P.B. hangs her head in shame).

P.B. has already started thinking about ways to spend her money. She is considering cutting down her Super Sized student loant or shopping at her new favorite store The White House Black Market. Although P.B. doesn't shop at the Name Brand store she shops at the Generic outlet. Which is totally off the lid. She looks forward to having an extra couple hundred dollars in her bank account this year!

Until Next Time.. Keep it creamy