Breaking News: Nutty Rift is a "Threat to National Security"

March 5, 2008 – Washington, D.C. – The Washington elite gathered at the White House this morning in response to the ongoing Mr. Peanut/Mr. Met dramedy. The press conference began with Condoleezza Rice declaring the rift between the two mascots to be a “threat to national security” and urging the two sides to “reconcile as quickly as possible.” Meanwhile, President Bush expressed concern that the conflict in the peanut world was interfering with the celebration of his favorite national celebration, Peanut month, which began March 1st, and will end with the 1,000,000 Peanut March in D.C. at the end of the month.

The successful resolution of Peanut Gate was also a top priority to the presidential candidates. Barack Obama was quoted in Texas last night as stating, "Yes we can end the peanut feud!". In response, Hillary Clinton, who was spending the night in Ohio, accused Obama of making empty promises and pointed to her 35 years of being a nutter as evidence that she is the best candidate to restore relations between Mr. Met and Mr Peanut.

In the most promising moment of the press conference, Mr. Met received a text message from Mr. Peanut offering to meet with Mets officials in a closed door meeting to discuss their dispute. The large crowd erupted in applause when Mr. Met shared the news with them, although no other details of the meeting were disclosed. Mr. Met left the press conference in the MetsMobile, waving to fans and flashing his large plastered smile, but it was unclear whether or not he was headed directly to the meeting with Mr. Peanut.

Stay tuned to PB and Shady for the latest developments in this ongoing dramedy!

Breaking News: Crunchy Deal Witnessed?

February 28, 2008 - Port St. Lucie, Florida - In a surprising twist in the ongoing Mr. Peanut/Mr. Met dramedy, an anonymous source leaked a photo of Mr. Peanut apparently shaking hands with an unidentified nut after an exchange of a large, unmarked envelope and a pound of peanuts. At this time, authorities are asking the peanut gallery to come forward if they have any details concerning the nature of this exchange.

Mr. Met, in Port St. Lucie for Spring training with the Mets, was visibly shocked when asked to comment on the photograph. The plastic smile on the unflappingly happy humanoid appeared to melt into an undeniable frown, while large painted tears mysteriously appeared. Mr. Met mumbled "no comment" and was quickly ushered to a chartered jet, presumably on his way to an official press conference scheduled by the Mets in New York later today.

As always, stay tuned to P.B. and Shady for all the latest developments in the peanut world!

Breaking News: Nutty Rift Confirmed!

February 27, 2008 – New York, New York – In what can only be called a shocking turn of events, Mr. Peanut, the mascot of Planters Peanuts and a long-time fan of the New York Mets, officially declared his allegiance to the Philadelphia Phillies, confirming the rumored rift between himself and Mr. Met, the beloved mascot of the New York Mets. The much anticipated press release comes on the heels of an inflammatory picture of Mr. Peanut in Phillies clothing that was posted on the #1 investigative peanut blog, P.B. and Shady. Although Mr. Peanut's words were brief, his reference to Mr. Met as a "bulbous baseball buffoon" clearly confirmed the dissolution of his long-standing friendship with Mr. Met and the New York Mets organization.

Mr. Peanut, an anthropomorphic peanut dressed as an old-fashioned gentleman, had been a fan of the New York Mets since the baseball team’s establishment in 1962, and was hired by the team in 1963 to mentor Mr. Met, the baseball-headed humanoid who wears a Mets cap and uniform. Mr. Met stated that he was deeply saddened by the picture of his former mentor in Phillies gear and his subsequent statements, calling Mr. Peanut’s actions a “personal attack” and “anything but gentleman-like,” given the well documented feud between Mr. Met and the Phillie Phanatic, the furry, foul-smelling, clumsy mascot of the Philadelphia Phillies.

The salty roast of Mr. Met by Mr. Peanut was just the latest development in the bizarre chain of events involving the beleagured mascot. According to a source close to Mr. Peanut who spoke on the condition on anonymity, the peanut’s downward spiral began in 2006, when Planters Peanuts proposed that Mr. Peanut’s old-fashioned clothing required an update, and encouraged fans to vote for changes, including a “wife beater” and a dude rag. Although fans ultimately voted for “no change”, Mr. Peanut’s ego was shaken by his company’s apparent lack of confidence in the awesomeness of his spats. His rotten mood allegedly spoiled his relationships with his closest mascot friends, including Sprout, who he called “a precocious bastard.” Sprout’s green-skinned foster giant retorted that Mr. Peanut was “obviously a salty nut who was green with envy.”

In September 2007, an alleged rift between Mr. Met and Mr. Peanut was speculated when all of the peanuts mysteriously disappeared from Shea Stadium. Although no arrests were made, a Mets food vendor assisted police artists in rendering a drawing [shown left] of the alleged suspect. An angry confrontation between Mr. Met and Mr. Peanut in the Mets locker room was observed in horror by the Mets players, although Manager Willie Randolph forbade his players from commenting on the situation. However, sources close to the Mets believe that “Peanut Gate” resulted in a player distraction from which the team never recovered, and may have been to blame for the Mets’ historic collapse at the end of the 2007 season.

In response to today’s press release by Mr. Peanut, The New York Mets announced that they will be holding a press conference soon to address Mr. Mets' relationship with Mr. Peanut. Coverage of the press conference will be available exclusively on the P.B. and Shady blog as this historic story unfolds.