30 January 2008

Happy Birthday Shady!

P.B. found it difficult to sleep this evening (and morning). Could it be in anticipation of the future National Lil' Shady Holiday? Probably. So in honor of Lil' Shady's super smooth and creamy entrance into this small world of ours: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Mr. Peanut salutes you! (take note Nuts that even Mr. Peanut has a shady monocle)

29 January 2008

Hillary is Tracy Flick!

Shady couldn't help but post this video despite her last post being about Hillary. Shady thinks that the movie, Election, is so smooth. Shady just wishes that she had made the Hillary Clinton/Tracy Flick comparison.

hint: If the video is loading slowly (after the ad has been played), hit pause until the gray bar moves towards the end so that you can watch the video uninterrupted. Enjoy!

27 January 2008

Shady Election Coverage (Pt. 1)

Hey, it's a double entendre!

Mikey P. asked for Shady and P.B.'s musings about the Presidential election process. Shady has been carefully watching the coverage from different news outlets, reading a range of newspaper reports, is on the mailing list of several candidates, and has watched several Republican and Democratic debates. Shady loves reality shows, and it doesn't get more real than this, nuts! Shady agrees with P.B. that 1) it is every American's civic duty to vote and 2) that every American has to make his or her own decision. However, Shady encourages all Nuts to educate themselves about every candidate, from both sides. For example, if your only connection to Huckabee is the movie, I Heart Huckabees, then you are not ready to make a final decision.

Today's entry will focus on Hillary Clinton. With other candidates, their actual positions on issues and other personal qualities that are not necessarily bad, are what stand out the most. Unfortunately, what stands out the most with Hillary Clinton is 1) her shrill voice when she gets defensive and 2) her ability to completely avoid answering questions, and turning the question around so that she can just throw out one of her talking points. When it comes to presidential candidates, she is #1 in that skill.

Shady believes that Clinton is a little shady, and not in the super creamy way. This is just Shady's opinion and does not express the views of P.B. Smooth. Shady however, is not as smooth as P.B. and does not mind opining about the candidates and sharing her shady views with the world. You should do your own homework though and make your own decision.

Here is an illustration of Clinton's style according to Shady:

Citizen: What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Clinton: [tightly smiles] That is a GREAT question! I am SO glad that you are here today to ask me that question.

You know [sighs, cocks head and looks nostaglic], my ice cream preference has changed over the years, [head upright, eyes intense] much like the change that I will bring to Washington D.C. if I am elected President!

[voice becomes shrill] My opponents [she means Barack Obama] could not change the ice cream scoop water, let alone enact change in Washington!!!

[catches hold of herself, tells self to look more relatable, softens expression and lowers voice an octave] I REALLY care about ice cream, and about every American child having the experience of eating ice cream. [tears up a little].

I have been working hard to choose my favorite ice cream flavor for the past 35 years, [returns to intense posture] much like the 35 years that I have been working for the public interest, [voice becomes shrill] unlike Barack Obama who only recently declared his love for ice cream, but has previously been quoted as saying that he hates ice cream and wants to inflate the dairy prices and arrest ice cream truck drivers and steal the ice cream out of the clutches of SICK LITTLE CHILDREN! THIS ELECTION IS ABOUT THE CHILDREN!

[voice becomes so shrill only dog can hear her] Not to mention, that my opponents [she means Barack Obama again] dodge the issues and could never answer such a direct question as, “What is your favorite ice cream flavor!”

25 January 2008

No Double Entendres in Pindar!

For the education of Bill, P.B.'s friend, who believes that there are many double entendres in Pindar, and Mikey P. (aka. quippy), Shady's friend, who just finds this clip enjoyable, have fun watching this classic SNL skit. This proves that in languages, words are simply words, and balls and nuts, as used in the English language, are simply balls and nuts. Case closed.

Hey Nuts! Don't forget to vote in our latest mascot smackdown poll! Also, read the January 18th post to read about each candidate's strengths and to voice your opinion. In this election year, being an informed voter is crucially important, whether you're voting for company mascots or something far less consequential, like say, the President of the United States.

Happy Birthday!

Here's to my Nephew Cowpea's 7th Birthday. Aunt P.B. is super excited for the upcoming smooth birthday party. Now, P.B.'s nephew cowpea has his own obsessions: tractors and anything that is loud and fast. Maybe one day he could cultivate P.B.s peanut crop?

Presidential Election

P.B. considers herself a conscious American who tries to do her civil duty during every election (yes, including those that are not Federal government). As a woman, she sees her duty and privilege to vote. P.B. has been known to send voting registration cards to friends to encourage them to vote, she has offered to drive people to poles, and even offered to go and vote for their desired selections (although she thinks she probably would not do this since it is illegal). But frankly who wants to hear P.B.'s political views. It is a personal choice that needs to be made based on one's own personal, political, societal, and environmental views. So EDUCATE yourself Nuts!

women's Suffrage:
Did you know New Zealand was the first country to grant women the right to vote? Well, they were. Did you know there are countries where women STILL are not allowed to vote b/c they are STILL considered inferior and less capable than men?

When to Vote:
P.B. wanted to inform her nuts across the country regarding when to vote. And if you need a ride P.B. would be glad to take you. so follow this link to find out when you are to vote. Our country is in a definite state of transition and there is a need for everyone to get out there and voice their smooth opinions. Every vote counts! There are a few quizzes out there too that will help my Nuts decide, but P.B. does not want to endorse any one in particular. Use all sources of information to educate the Nut mind.

wow! P.B. was shocked to see some of the expired butter slinging that has started already. P.B. could rant regarding the current state of our country, presidential election race, and/or process. Let's get back to the real issues the average Nut America wants at the head of the Nut Chopper. America does need change, and that is all the political verbiage P.B. will bestow. She has her thoughts on who she is going to vote for on April 22, 2008 (primary day in P.B.'s pod).

P.B. would love to hear her fellow Nuts comments on the current Presidential Election process, race, past voting experiences, etc. P.B. does ask this: Why when she goes to vote at the poling places is it always soon to expire Nuts running the place? Once, she had to tell an almost expired Nut to back off she knew how to push the touch screen. This expired Nut was invading P.B.s civil liberty space and expectations that her voting process would be private and confidential. P.B. wants to take her soon to be 7 year old nephew cowpea with her when she votes this year!

24 January 2008

National Peanut Butter Day!

Today, January 24th, is National Peanut Butter Day! Jelly! Jelly!

Check out this super creamy Peanut Butter Cup Brownie Cake!

Read another blog entry from another Peanut Butter enthusiast, who has shared some super smooth facts about peanut butter.

Also, check out Hungry Girl's healthy and not-so-healthy Peanut Butter picks!

On this momentous holiday, I would like to spread a special Jelly! Jelly! to the legend, the icon, the original, top nut - Ms. P.B. Smooth! This is your day, my cowpea!

*the recipe and source for the cake picture can be found here; scroll down to March 14, 2007

Did somone say Faschnact?

It was brought to P.B.'s attention that some of my Nuts have never heard of Faschnacts! What the peanizzle? How can one go through the Lenten season without having a Faschnact? So let P.B. spread some creamy truth regarding Faschnacts.

First Faschnact Day is celebrated on "Fat Tuesday", which you might know as Mardi Gras (French), Shrove Tuesday (England), and Fasching (German) just to name a few. Many of these cultures spend the week or so before lent partying. This time is spent having a good time prior to the solomn period of Lent. And the Pennsylvania Dutch only celebrate 1 day... Faschnact Day.

P.B. would like to bestow what Faschnacts are. All my nuts think doughnuts. Got that image? Now imagine doughnuts 1 Brazillion times better! In fact they are doughnuts with unleavened dough (no yeast) that are then deep fried.

It is thought that the process of making Faschnacts originated in Germany during the middle ages. Now there are many superstitions regarding why Germans ate them, but most likely the truth surrounds the Lenten festival. Faschnacts were a way for families to use up the sugar and lard from the home before the Lenten festival and the fasting from sweets begins.

Most do not use yeast and are supposed to be traditionally square or triangular (4 gospels or Holy Trinity). Although, many have gone to the traditional shape of the doughnut (round with a hole). So here is a recipe to follow and if any of you Nuts would like P.B. to order a dozen or so let her know. She will be glad to get some. In fact, they freeze well and make a wonderful treat mid summer.

2 ½ cups hot mashed potatoes
1 cup milk
3 beaten eggs
2 Tablespoons melted butter
2 cups sugar
2 Tablespoons baking powder
5 cups flour

Mix everything together except flour. Mix flour in slowly.Divide the dough in half. Roll ½ inch thick. Cut with a donut cutter or use a knife to cut into triangular shaped pieces. Deep fry in hot fat or oil until done. Serve with sugar or molasses. (P.B. prefers sugar).

February 5, 2008 It is always the day before Ash Wednesday, day prior to Lent, end of Mardi Gras... P.B. hopes you get the picture.

Shady's Shade (Pt. II)

I am in the market for some new makeup and have been reading a lot of articles and watching a lot of youtube video reviews. The lastest product I tried was the Maybelline Dream Mousse Blush. Although some "drugstore" cosmetics are lousy, the same can be said for department store cosmetics. The secret is finding the right blend of products that work for you!

Anyway, I had read numerous reviews that the Maybelline Dream Mousse Blush product was excellent, and even preferable to the MAC Blush Creme. The Maybelline product apparently goes on smoother, is easier to access the product from the container, and is cheaper! The Maybelline product is $5-6 (and you can find coupons to lower the price), whereas the MAC product is $17.50.

I bought the Dream Mousse Blush in Peach Satin (one of the lightest shades). [FYI: The Soft Plum (mauve - pictured above) color has won Beauty Magazine Awards.] It was extremely smooth (we LOVE smooth) and silky and two small dabs blended well into my chubby cheeks gave them a nice, light, slightly sparkly, fresh, dewy glow. I was impressed that it looked nice on my lightish-medium-olive skin.

This product is perfect if you prefer a natural, flushed look with a little sparkle. It is applied with your finger tip, and only a little product is required, so if you make sure that you wash your hands well before applying the product, the little jar will most likely last a long time. I am interested to see how the darker shades play off of my skin, and since the price is right, I won't feel guilty picking up another jar!

23 January 2008

Shady's Shade

In the words of Hannibal from the A-Team, I love it when a plan comes together. Here's what happened: Today I was looking for a new eyeshadow. Confronted by a wall of eyeshadows in a huge cosmetics section, my eyes were drawn to only one compact. I picked it up and flipped it over. The color, the very first one I picked up, was called Shady!

So, here's a picture if you ever wondered what the color of shady was, or if I was an eyeshadow what color I would be. I encourage you to purchase this L'Oreal eyeshadow and embrace your inner Shady. I guarantee you that your life will never be the same. Whether or not that is a good thing is debatable :).

22 January 2008

Ep 3: Flashback!/The Truth 'Bout Shady

American Idol was very enjoyable tonight. The judges acted like human beings. Imagine that! Remember season 1, when almost no contestants were allowed to approach the mighty judges? Also, there were many good contestants shown, and no uncomfortable tirades.

So, what I want to take a moment to discuss, is the "truth 'bout Shady." Shady has a very good memory, especially for meaningless pop culture, and television shows. Think of Shady as Rain Woman, without the ability to count hundreds of matchsticks in a few seconds.

Shady is often asked if she really remembers such things, or just looks them up. The sad truth is that she does actually remember such things.

So was the case for Shady while watching American Idol tonight. All she had to hear was "David Archuleta" and she immediately recognized his name and remembered that he had been on Star Search in the Junior Division - the 2003 version with Arsenio Hall. She then recalled so many random facts about Star Search (a show she didn't even remember caring about) - like that Mark Mejia sang MacArthur Park - that it scared her a little bit.

So, Shady will sign off for tonight and reexamine her sad life, and ponder how powerful she could really be in the world if she replaced meaningless facts with consequential information. Can someone tell me why Shady's brain still finds it important for her to know facts like that Jodie Sweetin was in an Oscar Meyer commercial before landing the role of Stephanie in Full House (yes, Shady had these ridiculous powers, even as a child, and still remembers exactly what Jodie was wearing in the commercial!).

So, I found the old commercial! Not really a classic American Idol performance, but join me in my madness, won't you? :)Shady out!

Peanutty Fruit Salad

Peanutty Fruit Salad
Serves: 6
Peanut & yogurt dressing give this fruit salad an exciting twist.
from Public Health - Seattle & King County.

1 (8 oz.) can crushed pineapple
1 cup peeled, shredded carrots
1/2 cup chopped apples1/2 cup chopped pears
1/2 cup peanuts
1/4 cup raisins
1/3 cup plain lowfat yogurt
2 tablespoons peanut butter

1. In a medium bowl, stir together the first 6 ingredients.
2. In another bowl, blend together the yogurt and peanut butter.
3. Add the yogurt "dressing" to the salad and stir to coat.

Calories: 197
Fat: 8.9 g
Carbohydrates: 27.4 g
Protein: 5.6 g

21 January 2008

...And the GIANTS go to the Superbowl?

Can a 27 year old (at least he will be when he goes to #42) inexperienced Eli Manning pull a carver on the pretty boy Tom Brady? (P.B. has a crunchy feeling regarding Mr. Brady and the use of his stunt double during games to be discussed at a later time and you also must understand that when P.B. begins calling someone Mr. it is NEVER good). P.B. had a difficult day swallowing the unsmooth results of yesterday's Name Brand (or shall they be called Generic) attempts by the Packers and Chargers. What happened to the legend Brett Favre (P.B. pronounces it FAAVREE). Could it have been the -3 degree weather with -20+ wind chill factors? Doubtful. Could it have been the Giants outplayed them? It seems as such, they were the clear favorites, but the Giants did surprise P.B. in the recent upset of the HATED WEEVIL Cowboys (P.B. refers to both the Cowboys and Patriots as Axes of Evil). But the Packers had the advantage when they won the coin toss of the overtime play. They were given 2 chances (Thanks to Feagles 2 missed field goal attempts) then what does Favre do? Interception? Maybe the hands of karma were coming back after the Packers for unfair play? P.B. was utterly crushed and knew instantly the result would be a Giant victory. Even today, MLK day, P.B. has grave difficulties comprehending yesterday's final scores. The GIANTS (The GIANTS) are going to #42? What? If P.B. would have predicted that the cheater Patriots and The Giants were to be in #42 P.B.'s Nuts would not have permitted her to discuss football any longer and committed her to a secured non-football watching facility. Now, P.B. must pull a carver and root for yet another upset. The cheater Patriots MUST go down. Professional football has no room for perfection, it defies all logic of the game. So here's to Feb 3 and the unthinkable upset that the Giants MUST finalize. P.B. cannot believe she is going to say this.... Let's GO Giants and Eli!

The EAGLES are still P.B.'s 1st love, no worries boys. P.B. has no room in her heart for the Giants, but P.B. knows you will understand why her energies MUST go into cheering the Giants to a victory.

19 January 2008

P.B. Smooth's Arch Nemesis?!

The Crunchy Peanut Blog, dedicated to crunchy in an increasingly smooth world.

18 January 2008

Battle of the Mascot All-Stars! Vote Now!

A big Jelly! Jelly! to all of our cowpeas!

We have posted a new, fun poll!

Who would win in an all out company mascot smackdown?

Here are the candidates:

Mr. Peanut - The James Bond of the mascots in his sophisticated clothing, who knows what super creamy and dangerous weapons he has hidden in his cane, spats, monocle and top hat!

Kool Aid Man - With an endless supply of sticky juice, he can drown his opponents and stick their feet to the ground. And don't forget his bullet-proof glass belly!

Mr. Clean - Known for his brute strength and his arsenal of poisonous chemicals, he is a formidable opponent!

Green Giant - Towering over his enemies, he is fortified with nutrients and has a secret asparagus gas smell to paralyze his adversaries!

Engergizer Bunny - Furry, short and cute, he may seem like an underdog, but he is known for his endurance!

Vote now and let us know your rationale!

Also, what is each one's kryptonite?!?

Ep 2: Know Your AI History!

Episode 2 of American Idol took place in Dallas, Texas, where the first and IMO, most creamy American Idol ever was found. Yes, nuts, we are talking about Ms. Kelly Clarkson. Seeing the show back in Dallas made me reflect upon the history of the show. I can hardly believe that this is its 7th season already.

American Idol is a wildly successful television show. Even weevils of the show have to admit that it rocks the ratings. Although the media is always searching for cracks signaling the demise of the show, this year the sharks are especially swirling. This was apparent with the articles written after the first episode where alarmists were pointing out that the ratings are down from last year’s premiere, and that this is the beginning of the end for AI. While it is true that the ratings are down 10% from last year’s premiere, last year they had the biggest ratings of any show since the Friends season finale in 2004. This year, they still beat the most watched show of the year (Grey’s Anatomy season premiere) by 55%, and had more viewers that night than all of the other channels combined. Idol has a way to go before being irrevalent.

Speaking of irrevalence, American Idol would not be as relevant without Kelly Clarkson. Simon Cowell has suggested that Kelly is not grateful enough to American Idol. However, I believe that she has more than paid her dues to them, and it is American Idol that should be grateful to her. Imagine if the winners had gone – Justin Guarini, Ruben Studdard, Fantasia Barrino, Carrie Underwood, Taylor Hicks, and Jordin Sparks. Would Carrie have been taken as seriously? Would the show still be successful today?

Although other Idol contestants have been successful in different ways – recording artists, Broadway, television, movies – AI nuts want to see the WINNER, the one they choose, succeeed in the mainstream. Why? Maybe it helps us justify why we watch to those who think that the show is crunchy. Also, AI seems to only truly get credit for the success of the winners, even though they have generally done a good job selecting contestants.

I truly believe that this year’s winner will be successful. I think it’s time. Let’s examine the pattern:

KELLY ruben fantasia CARRIE taylor jordin ???????

Kelly carried the torch through the nex two “winners”, with Clay giving a boost after season 2, and Fantasia from season 3, generally falling flat in terms of being popular in the mainstream (although she won a Grammy!). Then Carrie reignited AI by winning season 4, with Daughtry giving them a boost after season 5, and Jordin somewhat falling flat, although her demise may be too early to predict. Thus, using my very unscientific pattern, I think we are due for another superstar.

In honor of Kelly Clarkson, enjoy this classic clip from her time on American Idol. She looks so young! Shady out!

P.B. is not a Fan

of Dr. Phil. He is totally crunchy and P.B. frankly finds him slightly dangerous. All her Nuts should know that he is not licensed AND he is unethical. Those that know Name Brand P.B. know what she does for money {until P.B. Smooth can take over the nation} and know that she prides herself in ETHICAL and QUALITY treatment.

1. Did you nuts know that Dr. Phil does not have a license to practice psychology?
2. Did you Nuts know that Dr. Phil does not provide the therapy he says he does on his show?
3. Did you Nuts know that he is currently under investigation for his recent blemish?

Give it up already and go back to your Weevil City in Texas. He is currently trying to escape potential legal proceedings by playing with words. He visited Brittney as "a friend and ally of the family not as a Psychologist" (Quote by Dr. Phil) Well, no you didn't visit her as a psychologist you moron because you can't call yourself a Psychologist because you DO NOT HAVE A LICENSE! Grrr. P.B. is fired up over this situation. But on a brighter note, P.B. received a compliment from a client who said that P.B. would be one professional who could straighten Brittney out and give her the help that she needs. P.B. will take the compliment but not the job of fixing Miss Brit.
And a message to Dr. Phil (as well as other crunchy psychologists)..... Let the professionals handle those that need mental stability in their lives. You, sir (Dr. Phil) are not one of them but a Weevil of those who are ill!

P.B. says Goodbye...

... to her overpriced cable. Now those that know the Name Brand P.B. know that she enjoys a wide variety of entertainment from Fox News to BBC to Baseball to NFL to well all you Nuts get the picture. Her decision even came after making fun of her Boy Cowpea for having $9 cable (P.B. hangs her head in shame).

P.B. has already started thinking about ways to spend her money. She is considering cutting down her Super Sized student loant or shopping at her new favorite store The White House Black Market. Although P.B. doesn't shop at the Name Brand store she shops at the Generic outlet. Which is totally off the lid. She looks forward to having an extra couple hundred dollars in her bank account this year!

Until Next Time.. Keep it creamy

17 January 2008

P.B. Is not Happy :(

P.B. is very upset with the recent dismissal of Kit from Project Runway. A totally crunchy move by the judges and the producers. Rammi was clearly the one that needs to go. Yeah, sure he makes creamy dressy with fantastic draping. Seen that, in Season #3 with the Miami Woman who made flowy Miami dresses Oolie (or however you spell her name). Come on Come on. Kit is clearly the more creative of those two Nuts. P.B. is super ooober unhappy. And for once I really liked what Christian helped design and for once he totally did not climb my roof! Looking forward to next week's challenge.

15 January 2008

Ep 1: American Idol Superlatives

Favorite Auditions

MALE: Joey Catalano from Mays Landing, NJ, who sang Sunday Morning by Maroon 5. I liked the tone of his voice, but his moves were irritating – it was like he was an animatronic whose arms and torso movements were on a repeat loop. He doesn’t seem comfortable yet in his own skin, probably still adjusting to his 204 lb. (Not 205, Simon! LOL) weight loss – so impressive!

FEMALE: Temptresse Brown, from Philadelphia, PA, who was the football playing animal lover who was only 16 y.o., and had the sick mother. She was very sweet, and the judges handled it perfectly. Kudos to all.

Best [Unintentional] Impersonations

FEMALE - The nanny who has never seen a rated R movie. I wouldn’t believe most people who told me that, but somehow I did believe her. She had a good voice and the Kellie Pickler/Carrie Underwood naivete sans the dumb “act(?)” of Pickler. The AI Producers love to exploit that! I predict that she gets a lot of air time during Hollywood Week.

MALE - Alaa Youakeem from Jersey City, NJ: This guy gets the award for being Egypt’s version of Borat, with comments such as, "I have sexy face" and "I want to love a girl from the hair to the nipple."

Funniest Audition

James Lewis, from Philadelphia, PA, who sang, Go Down Moses. When leaving he said that he was, "...going to come back next year and not sing older Christian songs." Yeah, dude, that was your problem.

Least Deserved Golden Ticket

Melanie Nyema, Los Angeles, CA: She was the cute woman who was a back-up singer for Taylor Hicks, and sang (if you could call it that) Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. She probably has a good voice, but the portion of the audition we were shown did not showcase it at all.

Creepiest Audition

FEMALE: Alexis Cohen, from Allentown, PA. I thought it was funny when Ryan said, "You smell like incense." That’s not incense, Ryan! He knew that, right? He’s sort of dense sometimes so it’s hard to tell. I thought that the judges were pretty fair to her, but her post-audition rhetoric was really disturbing as she seemed to just decompensate. I hadn’t been that creeped out since the talking belly button commercial.

MALE: Paul Marturano, from New Hope, PA. Paul The guy who sang to Paula about stalking her, caulking her, chalking her...was uncomfortably funny, but then creepy, creepy, creepy...

Random Observations

1) The judges proved that even when they’re nice, rejected contestants will freak out, call them names, and find someone other than themselves to blame. Best examples – Star Wars Girl and Alexis Cohen. I would personally like to see them provoke and argue with the contestants who give them a hard time.

2) Did anyone notice how the beautiful blonde girls really cleaned up in terms of making it through and getting air time? I am SO glad that this repressed group is finally getting the attention they deserve.

3) I disagreed with the editors’ decision to have the jaded Jedi Girl’s sour grapes voiceover during the closing montage of people who made it through. It was a very unfulfilling way to end the episode. They usually pick an inspirational, energizing, song. I missed the emotional manipulation.

In honor of the easily forgotten contestant who sang a terrible version of Alone by Heart, here is a classic AI clip of Carrie Underwood’s powerful rendition.


P.S. Did anyone else see the "It's 10PM, do you know where your children are?" PSA by Sanjaya?! He was all wide-eyed and creepier than usual.

American Idol!! American Idol!!!

American Idol starts tonight!!! Jelly!!! Jelly!!! Not quite as exciting as opening day at Shea Stadium, but still! OMG, I just realized the baseball wars that will take place on this blog this Spring between Shady and P.B.

Stay tuned for my AI recaps! In the meantime, enjoy one of my favorite AI moments. The setup: Auditioner Michael Sandecki, a huge Clay Aiken fan, wins "Best Impersonation" for his Clay looks (not voice, you hecklers!). Sandecki gets the surprise of his life while singing. I laugh every time I see this clip. It's like a physiological response that releases endorphins and I cannot help but feel happy. Some people would argue that exercise has a similar effect, but my option does not require that I leave my couch.

Enjoy! I'll be posting a classic AI clip with each current season recap! Shady out!

13 January 2008

P.B. Salutes Who?

#3. Chick-Fil-A for providing an ultimate (and original) chicken sandwich with pickles. This restaurant takes P.B. back to her roots in the Southern wire grass regions of the United States. And they continue to have a commitment to being closed on Sunday. What other American place does that? P.B. has made many of adventures over an hour away just to enjoy one of these lovely (fairly healthy) chicken sandwiches. She is currently working on a deal to have them cater her upcoming tour! Negotiations are strictly top secret right now. So all you Nut Clusters keep your shells crossed.

#2 5 Guys! Yes P.B. is giving a creamy shout out to this burger joint! Why you may ask? Well, first and foremost this establishment utilizes none other than peanut oil. What's so special about peanut oil? Well, first it provides a healthy alternative to vegetable and animal fats. Second, peanut oil is tasteless and allows the unique flavoring of the foods being fried to be absorbed by the taste buds of those that are partaking of the said items. And 5 Guys also provides FREE peanuts. Not just a handful but as many as your stomachs can ingest. What more could P.B ask for? They also serve a pretty good burger (with pickles or whatever you may like). Be sure to check to see where the nearest one is to you. P.B. promises you will not be disappointed.

And the #1 Salute... none other than
Mr. H.B. REESE! The inventor of the Peanut Butter cup. Now, there is a great deal of history with this little tasty snack that P.B. eats on a regular and consistent basis. It is after all one of the 4 major food groups. Currently, the Peanut Butter cup is owned and produced by the Hershey Company. Did you know that Momma P.B. works there? This is how P.B. ensures that she receives not only the freshest but the best quality Peanut Butter cup. P.B. certainly is ecstatic that Momma P.B. works here and is committed to ensuring that these Heaven on Earth treats continue to put smiles on millions of Nuts around the world! Thanks Mr. Reese and Momma P.B.

Finally, my fellow Nuts, P.B. must send out a creamy groove to the newest addition to our Cluster. None other than just born Nicholas. He is going to be a fine Nut. He was learning Pindar on Saturday night and he seemed to be a natural. He is looking forward to the summer when he can experience the peanut at the great American past time of baseball! Aren't' we fortunate to have such a young Nut in our Cluster? He is such a cute cowpea too... P.B. is so fortunate to have such a fun bunch of Nuts. So remember my fellow Nuts... Chick-Fil-A, 5 Guys, and Mr. Reese.... keep it creamy....

Family Truly DOES Matter

Wow, I was watching Reality Remix Weekend on the Fox Reality Channel and caught the highlight reel from Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew (airs on VH1).

Guess who is on the show? Judy Winslow (Jaimee Foxworth), the youngest daughter from Family Matters (the Perfect Strangers spin-off, remember?). In one of the most chunky moves by a family sitcom ever, at the beginning of the fifth season she just wasn't there and was never spoken of again by the family. I know that her role was quite minor - she was the Carrie Ingalls of the Winslow family - but to not even attempt to explain her disappearance still haunts me in my dreams. Apparently, it still haunts Jaimee as well. She turned to porn and now smokes weed "every hour." Thank goodness Pa never turned out Carrie Ingalls, or Lindsay/Sidney Greenbush might be on Celebrity Rehab too.

In all seriousness, I hope that she can put her life back together. The lives of child stars can be so sad.

12 January 2008

Shady Needs a New 'Do!

Oooh, what better way to celebrate my upcoming 30th Birthday than with a new hairstyle! I googled ASIAN HAIRSTYLES for some ideas. Let's explore the RESULTS...

This is cute, but more like 5-year-old Shady, than 30-year old Shady.

Hey! Where's the hair? And the person? Who's tagging these images for search?

Ack! This one's Asian, but let's try for a woman and not a freak!

Er, this one got it half-right.

Is it just me, or is this dog White?

Again, who's tagging these images?!?

Needless to say, I'm still considering my options.

I can be so damn picky sometimes.

11 January 2008

Mr. Peanut Costume!!!!

Check out this super smooth Mr. Peanut costume, complete with directions for making your very own! This spoon dream will be mine one day! For shizzle, my peanizzle!

P.S. Notice the inclusion of the sexy spats! I don't understand how any of you could have voted for anything other than the spats in the current poll!

We can put a man on the moon, but...

...we can't invent a drive through window system with better audio and/or hire competent peanuts to work them. Case in point - my recent crunchy interaction with a chunky employee (CE) at the Taco Hell drive through window.

CE: Can I help you?

Shady: Yes, I’d like the nachos, fresco style.

CE: We don’t offer that fresco style.

Shady: It’s on your online menu – it’s just the nachos, with the fresco salsa and no cheese.

CE: We really can’t do that.

Shady: Ummm...Can I get an iced tea?

CE: Ma’am, we don’t have Hi-C.

Shady: No, I’d like an unsweetened iced tea!

CE: A raspberry iced tea?

Shady: No, the Tetley tea!!!

CE: Pepsi?


CE: Oh, the iced tea. Anything else?

If I was being punked and you see this aired on T.V., do me a chop and let me know, okay? :) In the meantime, check out this smooth list of annoying things to do at a drive through window.

10 January 2008

P.B.'s Jelly! Jelly!

A Jelly! Jelly! to all my Nut Clusters around this Nutshell. A special Jelly! Jelly! to my Nutter Lil' Shady for developing this extra Smooth blog! Lil' Shady is fo sure an Extra Creamy Monkey Nut. P.B. apologizes to all her Nut Clusters for not creating this Spoon Dream sooner.

P.B. has definitely felt Chunky today! First, on her way to work this Chunky Peanut with a Box that cost more than her 1st college degree cut her off! Totally Off The Nut! I know my Nut Clusters are not this Salty and Spread creamy vibes across their Pods. Several other incidents began to climb P.B.'s roof but she did not let them interfere with the pleasure of some PBJ, some PB Cremes! So here P.B. is in her humble Shell giving a Jelly! Jelly! to all her Nut Clusters. It is great to be back after an Expired time away from her Nuts. So can all you Nuts do me a Chop and holla back at P.B.? Until next time... keep it Smooth!

09 January 2008

Be a Nut! Learn Pindar!

Hey peanuts! Are you creamy or chunky?

In a nutshell, P.B. Smooth and Lil' Shady pulled a carver during a name brand road trip several years ago, and Pindar was born! So, do us a chop and visit the lingo page so that you can be our true cowpea! And don't forget to leave a comment here to practice your Pindar(click on Jelly! Jelly!). Honey roasts are welcomed, but salty roasts will make you a nut cracker, and possibly a weevil!

08 January 2008

The Man Behind the Monocle!

How one man raised the status of the peanut!