Breaking News: Crunchy Deal Witnessed?

February 28, 2008 - Port St. Lucie, Florida - In a surprising twist in the ongoing Mr. Peanut/Mr. Met dramedy, an anonymous source leaked a photo of Mr. Peanut apparently shaking hands with an unidentified nut after an exchange of a large, unmarked envelope and a pound of peanuts. At this time, authorities are asking the peanut gallery to come forward if they have any details concerning the nature of this exchange.

Mr. Met, in Port St. Lucie for Spring training with the Mets, was visibly shocked when asked to comment on the photograph. The plastic smile on the unflappingly happy humanoid appeared to melt into an undeniable frown, while large painted tears mysteriously appeared. Mr. Met mumbled "no comment" and was quickly ushered to a chartered jet, presumably on his way to an official press conference scheduled by the Mets in New York later today.

As always, stay tuned to P.B. and Shady for all the latest developments in the peanut world!

Breaking News: Nutty Rift Confirmed!

February 27, 2008 – New York, New York – In what can only be called a shocking turn of events, Mr. Peanut, the mascot of Planters Peanuts and a long-time fan of the New York Mets, officially declared his allegiance to the Philadelphia Phillies, confirming the rumored rift between himself and Mr. Met, the beloved mascot of the New York Mets. The much anticipated press release comes on the heels of an inflammatory picture of Mr. Peanut in Phillies clothing that was posted on the #1 investigative peanut blog, P.B. and Shady. Although Mr. Peanut's words were brief, his reference to Mr. Met as a "bulbous baseball buffoon" clearly confirmed the dissolution of his long-standing friendship with Mr. Met and the New York Mets organization.

Mr. Peanut, an anthropomorphic peanut dressed as an old-fashioned gentleman, had been a fan of the New York Mets since the baseball team’s establishment in 1962, and was hired by the team in 1963 to mentor Mr. Met, the baseball-headed humanoid who wears a Mets cap and uniform. Mr. Met stated that he was deeply saddened by the picture of his former mentor in Phillies gear and his subsequent statements, calling Mr. Peanut’s actions a “personal attack” and “anything but gentleman-like,” given the well documented feud between Mr. Met and the Phillie Phanatic, the furry, foul-smelling, clumsy mascot of the Philadelphia Phillies.

The salty roast of Mr. Met by Mr. Peanut was just the latest development in the bizarre chain of events involving the beleagured mascot. According to a source close to Mr. Peanut who spoke on the condition on anonymity, the peanut’s downward spiral began in 2006, when Planters Peanuts proposed that Mr. Peanut’s old-fashioned clothing required an update, and encouraged fans to vote for changes, including a “wife beater” and a dude rag. Although fans ultimately voted for “no change”, Mr. Peanut’s ego was shaken by his company’s apparent lack of confidence in the awesomeness of his spats. His rotten mood allegedly spoiled his relationships with his closest mascot friends, including Sprout, who he called “a precocious bastard.” Sprout’s green-skinned foster giant retorted that Mr. Peanut was “obviously a salty nut who was green with envy.”

In September 2007, an alleged rift between Mr. Met and Mr. Peanut was speculated when all of the peanuts mysteriously disappeared from Shea Stadium. Although no arrests were made, a Mets food vendor assisted police artists in rendering a drawing [shown left] of the alleged suspect. An angry confrontation between Mr. Met and Mr. Peanut in the Mets locker room was observed in horror by the Mets players, although Manager Willie Randolph forbade his players from commenting on the situation. However, sources close to the Mets believe that “Peanut Gate” resulted in a player distraction from which the team never recovered, and may have been to blame for the Mets’ historic collapse at the end of the 2007 season.

In response to today’s press release by Mr. Peanut, The New York Mets announced that they will be holding a press conference soon to address Mr. Mets' relationship with Mr. Peanut. Coverage of the press conference will be available exclusively on the P.B. and Shady blog as this historic story unfolds.

PB has a Date

PB is filled with anxiety as she awaits her first date. It is as if she is going to meet the man that will become her husband. PB stresses what to wear, which hat will be the most appropriate? Which flip flops are the best for today’s weather? PB anticipates the smells of pine tar, hot dogs, beer, and PEANUTS! Yes, PB has a date with the opening of BASEBALL season. 162 games to play and they ALL count. So in honor of this opening game PB has developed her list of the 25 reasons why Baseball is superior to say… Football. PB enjoys football and watches it religiously but given a choice between the two…shells down…Baseball. She would like to credit some of the ideas to Washington Post’s Thomas Boswell who in 1987 wrote the 99 reasons why baseball is better than football, which was ingenious. PB has tried to add her PB flair to her list of 25. Play Ball!

PB's 25 Reason's why Baseball is Great
1. The uniqueness of each and every ballpark. Some bad, some ugly, some fan friendly, some hitter park friendly, the foul poles, the turf, the wind, the size, any unusual obstacles in the outfield?
2.Love him or hate him even George Steinbrenner saw the light
3. Abott and Costello (and a side note that Costello was a Peanut vendor in the skit)- how can you not laugh when you even think about the 4 minute exchange of Who’s on First?
4. Fans in flip flops and shorts holding a cold beer!
5. Take me out to the Ballgame 7th inning stretch is as universal as the National Anthem
6. Bubblegum blowing relief pitchers, catchers, managers, and mascots – no headsets here
7. Head coach vs. umpire showdowns. There is nothing better than dirt being kicked on an ump by an angry manager or maybe spit flying in an ump’s face? Nuts decide
8. Batting practice
9. Fly, Foul, or Homerun Balls
10. Plenty of time to get a hot dog, use the restroom, and enjoy the view
11. 162 games which are available on several mediums and some are free to all. The nostalgia of AM radio and a baseball game
12. Baseball has manners – no coin toss here
13. Baseball equipment: bat, ball, cup and helmet. Football equipment: cup, helmet, mouth guard, face guard, pads, gloves, darkened out mask guard, bling, etc.
14. Baseball players play the entire game unless they are Aaron Rowand and make an outstanding sacrifice of the body while still MAKING the play!
15. 9 innings to make a comeback with no 2 minute warning
16. No ONE watches the World Series for the commercials
17. Every baseball team has the same types of schedule – each team will play easy and hard teams no need to modify schedules to create competitiveness
18. No flags. We know when it’s a homerun, we don’t wait with baited breath to see if it is a Homerun or not
19. A baseball team changes each year even with the same players and managers
20. Baseball is easier to watch in any form. Football has many points of focus, watch one and you miss a ton of other important information.
21. Every baseball player counts and they all need to be working together at the same time.
22. You never see a team ask a crowd to be quiet
23. It takes control and moderation to win the game of baseball not bruit force
24. Doubleheaders
25. Baseball players have far superior posteriors than football players – no added pads there female nuts.

Nuts feel free to leave comments as to why Baseball is so great.

Man Holidays- ugh

PB finds it rather annoying when most organizations get these man holidays off. What does PB mean by a "man holiday". Well, they are those annoying days when the banks are closed, post offices are closed, and all govermental workers have off. And all of those days are in celebration of men. Where are the women's holidays? Do women ever get a day off? No. PB was complaining to a friend regarding this and she was informed there is an International Women's Day which is celebrated March 8th. This event has been happening since 1911! And Philadelphia is finally celebrating its 1st International Women's Day. Yes, your Nutclustered eyes read that correctly, its 1st! Can the US please wake up and smell the roasted Nuts? Women should be celebrated too.

On a side note, PB would like to extend some Get Well wishes to her friend Bill. This Peanut would also like to wish you creamy vibes and a smooth recovery!

Characters with Monocles?

PB was contemplating this morning what historical characters (real or imagined) wore monocles? The only person who she could think of was the Monoply man. Does he have a name? PB also wondered if a character wears a monocle does he/she also need to wear a top hat? Are there any other Nuts out there that have answers to these profound world saving philosophical questions? Also Nuts do not forget to vote for your top 10 favorite cities to be added to the Monopoly board. So if PB's Nut Clusters around the world could provide her with some of these answers post a reply.

Don't forget to vote for your favorite company mascot and what each of their "kryptonite" would be!

News Alert: Mr. Peanut Announcement

Earlier this evening in an unprecedented move by Mr. Peanut he made a special announcement. He declared his unconditional support to the Philadelphia Phillies as his team for the 2008 Baseball season. Pat Burrell’s bobble head also made an appearance, as Pat Burrell himself was unavailable due to the beginning of spring training.



P.S. PB found another blogger who has obsessional thoughts regarding the smooth and creamy posterior of Mr. Pat Burrell. Ok female Nuts PB knows he went to the U of Miami and is probably a box of rocks... but he can certainly chop PB's nuts any time he wants.

Baseball Life Lessons

Here are Shady's top 20 life lessons she has learned from baseball:

20. Things are often more complicated than they look.
19. Be ready to play every day...
18. But everybody needs a day off sometimes.
17. Versatility and depth will bring success, especially when the game goes long.
16. It’s not over ‘til it’s over!
15. There is no time limit on winning.
14. It’s normal to strike out sometimes.
13. An amazing play can happen at any moment.
12. The most important game is the one being played at that moment.
11. Small changes can produce large results.
10. Everyone is important.
9. Anyone can be a hero.
8. No one can win alone.
7. Long term results matter more than short term results.
6. The best plays involve many people doing their very best.
5. Sometimes you have to take it one base at a time.
4. Losing streaks are inevitable, but so are winning streaks.
3. Sometimes you have to allow others to help you arrive safely home.
2. Stealing is okay, as long as you don’t get caught! (just kidding)
1. Nothing is better than celebrating at home (plate) with your friends.