P.B. and Shady

LET'S GO NUTS!

2010-05-06T18:51:00.003-04:00

P.B. needs the assistance of all her fans. She recently nominated Lil' Shady for her smooth and creamy dedication to helping others, particularly those where there is little support. Her organization reaches hundreds of women. She provides hope and inspiration to women who have been sexually abused by their mothers. So, please help P.B. in making her one of MLB's People All-Stars Among Us! Voting begins May 30 and will continue through June 20. Let's go Lil' Shady!

National Cancer Research Month

2010-05-06T18:40:00.003-04:00

P.B. was reminded by Honest Tea that it was National Cancer Research Month. As many of you know P.B. has gone through some crunchy situations due to cancer. So, P.B. wants all her Peanuts to make sure they are doing everything they can to be preventative! This is a honey of a site that will help you choose healthy beverages. The American Institute for Cancer Research also has some great recipes! And while you are on your way to being a healthier nut make sure to honor your mom MOM( if she is deserving)! At the Leukemia and Lymphoma society you can make a contribution in her honor. So do NOT be a dried nut and start taking small steps to a healthier you!
P.B. wishes everyone a cancer free life. Trust me P.B. unfortunately has experience and it truly was crunchy!

May 18 "I Love REESE'S Day"?

2010-05-05T18:14:00.003-04:00

IF PB has anything to do with this it will be declared a smooth and creamy national holiday and all will have a day off their respective jobs. Except for the creamy Reese's workers!
Visit this site to sign up and enter a few sweepstakes. GOOOOOOOO Reese's!

A Smooth Cowpea!

2010-04-27T22:14:00.003-04:00

P.B. must announce that a particularly smooth cowpea has asked her to pull a carver. She has been asked to complete a male cowpea's spoon dream of nuptial bliss. P.B. has said "YES!" Whoop! Whoop! Jelly! Jelly!

To tell the story of how this came to be in Pindar would only be appropriate. One night as P.B. and this Cowpea who shall be named, T. Driverman from this point forward, engaged in consuming some PB&J. After all was done T. Driverman and P.B. relaxed by the glowing fire. After some honey roasts, T. Driverman stated that he had a small gift for P.B. She was surprised to hear this since there were no holidays, birthdays, or special dates for which to celebrate. T. Driverman than proceeded to get on a bended knee as he asked P.B. if he would be his Cowpea forever. P.B. was in utter shock as her mind quickly searched for words which would appropriately answer T. Driverman's question. She said, "YES!" which as already been stated. P.B. must admit this is probably one of the few times in which she has been rendered speechless. Yes, speechless Nuts! This definitely was not any boiled moment but Namebrand! The one question which remains is: When will T. Driverman ask P.B. to be 2 nuts in a shell? At this point, P.B. and T. Driverman still reside in different shells, which is perfectly acceptable.

The date of the smooth and creamy nuptials will be September 3, 2011. Lil' Shady is P.B.'s unofficial wedding planner and will be part of the wedding party. A party it will be! We hope to see you all there. P.B. will debut her sophomore album and cannot imagine her Nutclusters not being there!

Jelly! Jelly!

P.B.'s Baseball trivia

2009-10-23T10:16:00.001-04:00

Who can answer this: Other than the Philadelphia Phillies what are the other 4 MLB teams to not feature their home city and/or state on away jerseys?

A speciall Jelly!Jelly!

2009-10-23T09:58:00.003-04:00

P.B. would like to recognize the site of Birdland. This site has some smooth digs for you to wear. P.B. warns that some contain explicit language (P.B. and Shady do not need any lawsuits for failing to inform the public of such profanity). P.B. particularly enjoys this one-

P.B.'s Spoon Dream

2009-10-23T09:05:00.004-04:00

In a nutshell, the Philadelphia Phillies have done the name brand thing and repeated as NLCS champions! so to all those Phillies weevils that P.B. knows exist: how do you like these nuts now? Are the Phillies still a fluke? Do they deserve to be there now? P.B. thinks that these chunky peanut galleries can shove it in their peanut butter jars and put the lid on! The Phillies have proven time and time, clutch hit after clutch hit, they are a team. P.B. thinks it's extremely difficult to be a Phillies fan, any Philadelphia fan for that matter. The passion that some have goes beyond typical "fan-ness" and becomes chunky. Ok. Ok. P.B. digresses but she had to get that off her jar.

Let's just say P.B. has enjoyed her excellent summer of baseball and attended a record number of games this year since she is blessed to have a few baseball fans in her life. Please enjoy this video http://vimeo.com/6877160, a throw back video headlining J. Roll clips. And just in case you missed it...here is the final out....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IpCIi27qqg...P.B. particularly loves the pictures of crunchy Chris "Wheels" Wheeler. To come...for all you Phillies lovers...a showcase of P.B.'s favorite players....stay tuned

P.B.'s Big Trip to UofM!

2009-10-01T20:52:00.005-04:00

PB was offered two tickets to a University of Michigan game and of course she said YES! Actually before she knew if she had anyone who would drive to Ann Arbor, MI she bought the tickets. Can PB just elaborate how amazing these seats were? She cannot remember the last time she had seats as close as these (to anything...ever). What a great time PB had. Her favorite boy cowpea accompanied her despite not being a college football fan.

PB Loco

2009-06-29T23:48:00.004-04:00

PB and Lil' Shady visited this ultimate smooth and creamy shell waaaaaay back on February 14, 2009. Just so you know, PB Loco, is an amazing little place. PB adventured 3 hours from home to share in this heart day with her cowpea Lil'Shady...more pics to come... but here are a few

Let the Preperations Begin

2009-06-27T09:37:00.003-04:00

PB has begun her preperations for her international travels. Yes, PB is going to be an international hit. She will be embarking on a 10 day excursion to Costa Rica. And due to the high demand she will be unable to fulfill any further requests for the bringing back of Monkies. Other requests will be honored. So, if any of PB's nutters have any peanuts of wisdom please pass them along.

PB Cookie Day

2009-06-10T22:18:00.000-04:00

this spectacular day is upcoming! Share your favorite PB cookie recipes!!!!

PB is a bad Nutter

2009-06-10T20:18:00.002-04:00

PB apologizes to all her Nuts. She has not kept you fresh on the smooth adventures of PB (and Lil' Shady). Can you ever forgive her? Please say you can. PB will not be able to handle the crunchiness which it would cause. How can she make it up to you Nuts? Please leave a post and she will gladly oblige (within reason of course). What have all my Nuts been doing? PB has been rather busy creating her sophomore album, visiting PB Loco, and beginning her tour of the ballparks yet again.

P.B. gets a new label

2009-01-23T15:31:00.005-05:00

P.B. has finally learned her direction in life...forward. It will include a long life (if she has anything to do with it) filled with friends and many more zany acts to follow. Her doc (hot doctor PB would like to add), has given her the "you're cured" speech! PB's peanut butter filled dreams could not even compete with the joy which these words have given her. Let me re-cap for those playing along at home:
Pb enters the facility around 1330 with 2 very good friends in tow. Her appointment is for 1345. She is already nervous and engaging in silly antics which only children do, like pushing all the elevator buttons and getting off on the wrong floor. How could she forget? PB checked in but cannot find her new insurance card, good thing the check-in girl was forgiving. PB sat for about 2 minutes before the nurse called her back. PB crossed her fingers one last time. Once in the exam room she was informed her hot doc was running behind schedule. This was PB's view for about 15 mins:

Whilst she waited PB communicated with friends from the outside world via text messaging, yahoo messenger, and pictures. PB wanted everyone to have part in the experience. Then the moment came when her doc walked in with a lovely pink shirt on which complimented his complexion quite well. He complimented PB on her new hairstyle and then handed her a sheet of paper. PB read it, screamed, and then looked at him and inquired, "does this mean what PB thinks it means." He said, "yes." PB screamed yet again (this time throwing her hands in the air). The doctor then was grasped in a gigantic hug from PB and she started to cry tears of joy. This poor doctor never responds well to PB's tears and NEVER has tissues in the office for PB. He begins to frantically search for a tissue but must make do with a paper towel. PB then screams yet a third time. He continues to smile, laugh, and turn many shades of pink. PB then informs him he must meet her 2 supporting actors (not only 2 mind you just 2 that were there) in this very dramatic moment. He graciously introduced himself and delivered to PB's friends the same words which he had delivered to PB only moments prior. "She's cured." So, thank you all for playing along PB just needed to share the dramatic conclusion to this chapter in her life. She is now in the process of re-designing her label So nuts, PB is open to suggestions. It has been a long time since she did not have to define herself by a disease. Now, PB is going to hunt down the Peanut Gang who has been tainting the most perfect food in the world, peanut butter.

Change P.B. and Shady Belive in...Welcome President Obama

2009-01-19T21:37:00.003-05:00

Top 5 reasons to love PB Loco!

2009-01-10T14:09:00.004-05:00

1) They have a peanut-themed cafe menu.

2) They provided a George Washington Carver shout out on their web site.

3) They understand the limitless possibilities of peanut butter combinations. The chocolate and peanut butter is divine!

4) They finally give Shady a reason to drive to and not just through Delaware. Sounds like a prime blogoptunity! Anyone up for a little road trip to Delaware?!

5) The web site asks, Are these people crazy? Who gets up one morning and says, “I think I'll open a peanut butter restaurant?” If that's crazy, then Shady doesn't want to be sane! And well, [insert your own joke].

Two nuts in a permanent shell!

2009-01-09T12:32:00.006-05:00

PB and Shady send congratulations to Dave and June, who became engaged on New Year's Eve in Japan!

They are a super smooth couple whether admiring Dave's copious chest hair...

or cooking in supermarket parking lots!

They'll make great parents too!

P.B. is moving on!

2009-01-05T22:41:00.002-05:00

No not PB Smooth but Pat "The Bat" Burrell is moving to another jar! PB is really (sniff, sniff, [blowing nose]) not sure how she is going to cope. Left field for the Philadelphia Phillies will not be the same without his posterior. WHAAAAAAAAA PB is sad. Anyone want to start a petition with PB to bring back Pat? Anyone? Please? Ok PB will get over....eventually. Thanks Pat for the many wonderful views you gave PB she particularly enjoyed when you would tear your pants in the posterior. Hubba Hubba...And in all seriousness Good luck with the new team.

3 weeks=21 days=the final countdown

2009-01-01T11:17:00.002-05:00

Yes, Nuts the time has arrived for PB to learn of the results of her year of H-E-double hockey sticks! She will go for bloodwork tomorrow (hopefully for the final time relating to the nasty disease which caused her much discomfort for a year). PB is trying to stay optimistic but also recognizes the reality of staying well, realistic. Obviously, there are 2 results which could be the reality of her world. PB would like to think she was in a different shell when going through the treatments since she was very OCD about taking her meds (probably missed 5 doses at the most) and taking her injections at the SAME time every week. She hopes this placed her in the higher percentage of chance that her disease will be eliminated, destroyed, demolished, and outcasted from her system. She prays that she will no longer have to bite her nails in worry and angst about how to continue to keep her liver healthy to ensure she is here to have children and watch grandchildren grow. On the other side of the shell, PB feels like 2009 is her year. PB says count with her as she counts her blessings and amazing things which happened to her:
1. PB has the greatest cowpeas eva', i.e Lil' Shady, E-rin, Krazy K, all her other nut posse
2. Her Philadelphia Phillies won the World Series (in dramatic fashion of course)
3. An African American man was elected as President of the free world
4. PB successfully passed her psychology licensing examS only 5 months post treatment!
5. PB's football team, Philadelphia Eagles, made it to the playoffs with a 9-6-1 record (yes that is a stupid tie in the mix) in dramatic fashion of course
6. PB had a professor who really did not like her in graduate school send her a congratulatory email on passing her examS
So PB is really praying and crossing her shells that she can add #7 to the list of: She successfully beat a disease when the odds were stacked against her! So, 2009 PB is ready to meet you shell to shell. And please nuts continue one last time to pray that PB's news is one that will allow her to feel a lot more ahhh what's the word..."normal?" Yeah, that's the one...here's to a prof who sent an email, a football team with a crazy record, passing an exam, a man being elected President, a team winning a championship, and all my wonderful support system of Nuts! PB thinks the odds will no longer be stacked against her but in her favor...move over house PB is going to win big this year! Happy New Year Nuts!

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T11:16:00.001-05:00

Wishing my Nut clusters from around the global Shell a very Happy New Year.

Onto a New Jar

2008-12-21T23:42:00.003-05:00

PB is proud to announce that she has successfully completed all the necessary requirements to be considered a psychologist... or at least to legally be able to call herself a psychologist (when she is not working on her next album of course). So for all of you Nut Clusters that provided her with smooth and creamy vibes on the 11th and 12th Dec she thanks you. PB's spoon dreams are all coming true...sometimes Nuts it takes a few extra innings to win the game...but remember the game is not over until the last strike! Until then Nuts keep your eye on the ball and PB promises that eventually it will be hit out of the park. Well, metaphorically speaking of course since PB does not think she could literally hit a major league baseball out of a major league baseball park, unless of course she was roiding. Thanks again Nuts!

Happy Birthday

2008-12-21T22:36:00.003-05:00

PB finally has a free moment to post a special Happy 1st Birthday to her cowpea Erin's son N. PB is excited that he is growing...she dreams of the day when he can have Peanut butter, Cracker Jack, and sit in a baseball seat wearing his Phillies shirt (ok outfit) proudly with "aunt" PB. PB Smooth will need to filter her Pindar so as to not be a bad influence on young ears. But, the reality is, if Little N is to be a Phillies fan (which he will be since this has been placed in a notarized contract) he will learn all about disappointments, prayers, bargains, droughts, cussing, and fan-ness. So, Happy Birthday N and congratulations on taking your first steps towards the world of baseball!

PB's inquiring mind wants to know

2008-12-17T00:12:00.004-05:00

so nuts PB is curious to know why is a Nut who is not married, does not have any cow peas of her own, or own her own shell any less deserving of a substantial raise than a Nut of equal education who is married, has his/her own cowpea, and owns his/her own shell? Is this discrimination? PB would like to know why it is society still insists that a female nut is worth less if she has not entered into nuptials, has not sprouted her own cowpea (while happily nuptialed), and has not secured a worthy shell in which to reside by age 30? PB has been running into this mentality more and more lately and frankly is beginning to regurgitate on a regular basis. Can we say 21st century when female nuts no longer need to be chained to the stove nor making sure dinner is on the table by 1730? This is totally off the shell. PB would also like to dispense this knowledge upon thos who are not regular viewers of the PB and Shady blog, A female nut can still have a meaningful life which is full, smooth, and creamy even if...wait...wait for it...just a minute... even if she has not entered into nuptials (gasps), sprouted her own cowpea (please do not faint), AND does NOT own her own shell (yes, non-PB readers it is true)! PB is still just as qualified even without these very traditional aspects in place. She finds it interesting that individuals do not seem to even imagine the level of dedication that it has taken her to obtain a doctorate degree. Yes, nuts PB is really a doctor (and has the student loan to proove it). Why is this? It saddens PB to think that the education of women still continues to take a backseat to nuptials, sprouting cowpeas, and purchasing a shell. Now, please do not misundersand PB, these are all very nice achievements. PB's crux lies within the noise which is made about the fact that a female nut must attain these by 30 years of age otherwise her life is considered spoiled. That is your PSA for the month of December. Now, PB is off to enjoy some eggnog spiked with Peanut Butter of course.

Don't even think about messing with the PB Cup!

2008-12-10T12:28:00.002-05:00

Dear Hershey Foods Inc.,
PB has heard that you have changed the type of chocolate used in certain candy bars, i.e. Krackle and Mr. Goodbar. Let this be your warning. If you even think about changing the chocolate used in the Reese's Peanut Butter cup you will have serious problems in which to contend. PB Smooth will be knocking on your door, sending you faxes, sending email messages, texting you, calling you, and conjuring up a spell to revive Mr. Reese! PB promieses that you will be sorry that you even considered the switch. Why mess with a good thing? The new chocolate sucks shells and you are just lucky that PB perfers the Peanut Butter cup over the Krackel and Mr. Goodbar otherwise you would have already heard from her and her Nuts. NEVER EVER stand in the way of PB and her Peanut Butter Cups!
Sincerely,
PB Smooth and her Nut Posse

Cracker Jack and Fiddle Faddle

2008-12-10T12:23:00.002-05:00

PB is extremely anxious (no word for that in Pindar). She is taking her EPPP tomorrow and for those non-Psychological Nuts this is similar to the Bar Exam which lawyers have to pass in order to practice law. So Nuts, PB needs a favor...send some smooth and creamy vibes her way tomorrow (and Friday-as she also has to take the PPLE which is another exam for her to be licensed in the state of Pennsy to call herself a psychologist). PB is looking forward to seeing her living room floor again as well as not reading another crunchy thing about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or the Standard Error of the Estimate. Crunch Crunch Crunch goes her brain in the wee hours of the morning. So tomorrow at 9:00AM remember PB and send a little prayer her way.

Am I Ugly?

2008-11-25T19:47:00.004-05:00

Shady is moving to a townhouse next month and is furniture shopping. The couch pictured above is *wrong* in so many ways, which Shady will now list in increasing levels of wrongness; it is only available in graphite and a weird tan color, it is a sectional, it has recliners on either side, it looks like something a bachelor would buy, and it is poofy/frumpy. Shady actually laughed at it when she saw it on the showroom floor. It is the exact opposite of what she had in mind. It looks like it should start talking, like Chairy from Pee-wee's Playhouse.

The salesman said that a lot of people have a similar reaction to the couch, but that they stop laughing once they try it out. Always the good sport, Shady decided to humor him, and OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! (Shady actually said this several times). This is the most comfortable couch EVER!!!!!!! It is like floating on pillowy clouds of goodness when in the recline position (notice the extra-wide recliners on either end), and yet it is not so soft that Shady sinks into it and feel like she's 5-years-old. Shady actually kept muttering, Wow, that couch is awesome! for several minutes after leaving the couch area. She used the word "awesome" so many times, that coupled with Shady's young looks, probably made the salesman think that her mommy and daddy were going to show up and actually make the purchase.

So, Shady is not sure what to do because now the couch is altering her perception. The more Shady looks at it, the more she likes how it looks. It's kind of like when someone becomes more physically attractive as you get to love their personality.

Is Shady nuts?!? Shady needs objective opinions from cowpeas who have not fallen under the spell of Couchy!

Conkerr Cancer needs all Nuts Votes!

2008-11-20T22:24:00.003-05:00

Ok so PB does not personally know this brave young nut, Ryan Kerr, who lost his fight with childhood cancer; however, PB was extremely touched by the dedication that his parents still have towards finding a way to bring smiles to young faces during their battle with this awful disease. They are also extra smooth and creamy for dedicating time for other life threatening diseases too. How can we not support them? Let's go nuts your vote counts even if it will not enable you to elect the leader of the free world it might mean you bring a smile to a bald 7 year old's head and make a woman's fight for her deceased son even more great! Take a minute or so to share your finger tips at voting for this woman. L'oreal has chosen this brave nut's mother as a nominee for Woman of Worth Award. She was chosen for... ahh heck just check out the Conkerr Cancer website and then click on the above link to vote PB's emotions are getting to her since she finds this level of generosity so amazing! Go...Now!

Election 2008

2008-11-04T14:52:00.002-05:00

PB thinks she can also speak for Shady regarding this smooth duty of all Nuts. Get out there Nuts and do what is a simple duty. PB was happy to stand on line for about an hour to cast her ballot. She normally stands on line for about 10 minutes max to vote. She was also filled to the top with shells that so many young first time voters were there. Way to go Nuts. PB totally appreciates the right to vote and hopes each of her nuts will also be able to see the significance of a democratic society.

ALL NUTS ON DECK!!!

2008-10-31T15:49:00.007-04:00

Please leave a comment at the PB and Shady blog
if you have any information that will lead to the
return of our beloved nut.

Peanut Rose is going to the Parade!

2008-10-30T21:27:00.003-04:00

Peanut Rose will be attending the smooth and creamy parade tomorrow in Philadelphia! He begged and begged PB to go and since he is missing a foot could not drive himself. Soooo PB gave into his desires and will be sacrificing a few hours of sleep to take him. Hopefully he won't lose any more accessories.

Congratulations!

2008-10-30T00:41:00.005-04:00

Congratulations to the 2008 World Series Champs- the Philadelphia Phillies! And PB finds it no coincidence that the mayor of Philadelphia is Mayor Nutter.
the following was borrowed from Phillies Nation

McCain Hearts Obama!

2008-10-27T23:59:00.005-04:00

Guess who was 1 of the 100,000+ people who showed up at an Obama rally?! McCain not only showed up, but look how he transformed himself! Full Denver Post article here. Who is in charge of captioning these photos?

Good Luck Phillies

2008-10-22T20:35:00.004-04:00

Dear Phillies,
PB wanted to let you know that 3 of your biggest, smoothest, and creamiest fans are rooting for you. PB thought you would like to see the name brand photo of 2 of your fans who could not afford the $400 standing room only tickets, but will be watching from PB's shell. PB and her Nuts know you can do it. Let's go PHILLIES!

How could PB resist?

2008-10-20T22:17:00.003-04:00

Phanatic PB begged and begged to get this smooth and creamy new shirt. How was PB to resist her favorite stuffed green Phanatic whom she promised to love and spoil rotten?

Phils win first pennant since 1993

2008-10-15T23:38:00.004-04:00

PB is extremely proud of her boys. Congratulations to the Philadelphia Phillies 2008 NLCS Champs. Best of luck in the World Series. Nice story here and here and here and here. Alternatively, if you missed the victory you can download the game here. Ok. PB was slightly tired and weery eyed while typing this blog so it lacks some peanut luster. But her happiness cannot be contained. Let's Go Phils!

Are you doing it?

2008-10-09T23:37:00.005-04:00

PB does it and so should all her Nuts! Even the Male Nuts! Feel your boobies...is a great place to start to find out basic information. PB loves the slogan of "Feel Your Boobies". Yes, this is a serious subject but sometimes a honey roast is what is needed for totally crunchy situations. Grab a cowpea and feel some boobies! Do me a chop and spread the word about feeling your boobies.

MommaPB's Celebration Doll

2008-10-01T23:53:00.002-04:00

Here is the link to MommaPB's celebration Doll created with smooth and creamy vibes by PB Smooth

http://www.celebrationchain.com/celebration/index.aspx?idNum=12918&tributeNum=1

October is...

2008-10-01T23:39:00.005-04:00

Breast Cancer Awareness Month. PB has personally been touched by breast cancer when MommaPB was diagnosed a few years ago when she was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer. Yes, MommaPB received routine mammograms which did not detect the masses in her breasts. Fortunately, PB's Momma was persistent with the doctors and insurances companies and she prevailed. A more precise MRI revealed what doctors confirmed through blood tests, the spread of the cancer in her breasts to a tumor on her spine (although this tumor is what forced her into see the doctor in the first place). Long story short, MommaPB went through chemotherapy and radiation and has been cancer free for about 3 years! She survived a double mastectomy and has since received complete reconstruction. Since this is a somewhat serious post, PB will refrain from making some of the more "joshing" comments she does on occasion with MommaPB. So, please help those in your life who could be affected by this disease (including men). There are few simple things you can do: 1) Click on The Breast Cancer Site daily, 2) Create a Celebration doll through the Celebration Chain with AstraZeneca, 3) complete monthly self-exams, 4) Eat a healthy diet, 5) Exercise on a regular basis, and 6) Stay up to date on current research and make small donations where you can-Education is powerful.

Proud Alum

2008-09-26T13:37:00.004-04:00

PB is a proud alum of an all women's college nestled in Allentown, PA called Cedar Crest College. Earlier this week, Ms. Obama and Dr. Jill Biden were graciously hosted by my alma mater. The following link will take you to a video regarding the events from Channel 6 (Philadelphia) and the following link will take to another video from CBS 3 (Philadelphia). Nancy O'Dell of Access Hollywood was also on hand to have a little sit down with Ms. Obama. A number of other mainstream media outlets were also on hand to conduct numerous interviews on campus. If anyone has not been to the arboretum located on this fine campus, PB suggests making a visit. This campus is as beautiful as it is educational. There is a strong dedication to the promotion of women, which is evident in the development of one of the first and only Master level Forensic Science programs in the country (which by the way has been featured on Montel). PB is definitely proud to be part of this institution and fully supports their endeavors at promoting and enriching the lives of women.Nancy O'Dell of Access Hollywood filming outside Blaney Hall

5th Annual Jif Most Creative Peanut Butter Sandwich contest

2008-09-16T22:31:00.004-04:00

$25000 for Peanut Butter invention? Let's go Nuts! Jif is offering an amazing contest for parents. If your child is old enough to hold a spoon than your little cowpea is old enough to enter this contest. Show your creations on P.B. and Shady and we will do our best to pick out the most yummy recipe. And PB does not want to hear any of this, "well, cowpeas should not consume peanuts prior to being a certain age" business. (Ok PB is really just kidding about that-but 'rents you can try). P.B. promises that she will try them all. Peanut Butter is her favorite food after all.

Peanut Day

2008-09-16T22:21:00.003-04:00

Skippy® Super Chunk®
It’s the ultimate peanut butter experience when you're looking for that extra crunch. Skippy Super Chunk has loads of real peanut pieces blended into every jar of great-tasting peanut butter.

Skippy® Creamy
It's the cream-of-the-crop when it comes to peanut butter. Skippy Creamy is made from only the freshest taste. In fact, 772 delicious peanuts are used to make every 16.3-oz jar of Skippy Creamy. It spreads on smooth and tastes great, so stock up now!

All Data are courtesy of Walmart

Halloween Request for Erin

2008-09-13T12:38:00.004-04:00

PB and Shady would officially like to ask our cowpea, Erin, to do us a chop and dress her dear son, Nicholas, in a peanut costume for Halloween.

Here are two name brand options:

Mulllins Square Peanut Baby Costume

Peanut Infant Costume (too bad they don't make them for ripe nuts)

Please Erin! Fulfill this spoon dream!

Shelley Peanutza Visits Cooperstown!

2008-09-07T12:12:00.001-04:00

A remix of some creamy pics from the last video with some new photos, all set to the theme song of the Mets! Let's Go METS!

PB and Shady Video Premiere!

2008-09-06T01:21:00.003-04:00

PB and Shady just completed their super smooth summer tour! Despite a few run-ins with some salty nuts, we ultimately had one of the creamiest summers ever!

We even pulled a carver and got our very own nuts, Shelley Peanutza (Mets player) and Peanut Rose (Phillies player), inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY. Jelly! Jelly!

Enjoy our video premiere! It is name brand! For shizzle my peanizzle!

ThE nUt FaMiLy GROWS!

2008-09-05T20:38:00.002-04:00

Leukemia

2008-08-17T20:35:00.003-04:00

PB has not done so well in her blogging for cancer. But, it is never too late to educate her Nuts.
Check out this site, Friends of Heroes to learn more. Also check out this site to learn how you can participate and possibly win a gift.

Leukemia is simply a blood cancer which forms in the bone marrow. When PB was just a little cowpea her symptoms consisted of fatigue, bruising, and other flu-like symptoms. Leukemia occurs when there are an abundant number of white blood cells (leukocytes). These fighter cells then deplete the necessary creation of Red Blood Cells. So, Nuts, too much of a good thing can be dangerous. There are many forms of Leukemia and some are more common than others. PB was affected by Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). PB recalls a story of another cowpea who was diagnosed with ALL when PB was. She inquisitively asked her Momma Nut, "Mommy, why do I have laundry detergent in my blood?" PB's friend was around 6 years of age when she asked this. This is the reality of cancer Nuts. It strikes whomever it wants to and knows no boundaries.

Nuts, pull a carver and check out how you can learn more about Leukemia by checking out the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. PB hopes to use Team in Training to train for a marathon (just as soon as she is healthy enough to start running consistently enough and begin strength training again). This is just one way she is going to give back to an agency which helped save PB's life. See how you Nuts can be smooth and creamy in other Nut's lives.

PB's new Addition

2008-08-13T21:13:00.003-04:00

PB welcomes her newest love Phanatic PB! He was created in a loving moment and in honor of PB's accomplishment this year. And she has promised to love him and always give him a home. Introducing for the first time ever in the PB and Shady forum....Phanatic PB

Jelly!Jelly!

2008-08-05T20:39:00.002-04:00

What do PB and Forest Gump have in common? Well, they were a'runnin'. Yes, Nuts you heard correctly PB is back to running. Tonight on her drive home, PB thought it was time to at least try and climb down the other side of the mountain. She intended to start slow beginning at week 1 of her 10 week run/walk program which includes alternating 4 mins of walking and 2 mins of running for 30 mins. So at the 16th minute PB was running and something in her brain clicked (maybe the power of the Dixie Chicks she was listening to?) and she just kept running for the remainder of the 14 minutes! She feels great! ahhhhhhhhh PB is so happy to be back in the saddle again. Nuts, moral is no matter how chuncky things seem there is usually is some creamy adventure waiting on the other side!

PSA: Terror Alert! The Peanut Gang Strikes Again!

2008-08-04T10:31:00.007-04:00

Last week, PB and Shady broke the news of Shady's crunchy encounter with a salty nut who verbally a-salted her on the 7 Train. At the time, we were not sure if this was a rogue nut acting alone, or part of the Peanut Gang from Yankee Stadium.

FYI: The Peanut Gang came about due to the social unrest in the peanut community during the Cracker Jacks vs. Crunch N' Munch controversy at Yankee Stadium a few years ago, when upper management wanted to replace Cracker Jacks with Crunch N' Munch. This chunky change included modifying the famous lines from Take Me Out to the Ballgame, from Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack, I don't care if I never get back to Buy me some peanuts and Crunch N' Munch, if my team loses I will hurl my lunch. Thankfully, due to fan outcry (the only creamy thing that Yankee fans have ever done), the change was not implemented, however the damage was done. Millions of American peanut families had undergone the strain of having their livelihoods threatened by outsourced Crunch N Munch nuts, thus creating a stressful and unstable environment for the younger peanut generation, who began forming peanut gangs.

Until this weekend, law enforcement believed that the Peanut Gang had limited its a-salts to New York City. Unfortunately, security cameras on an interstate train traveling from Pennsylvania to Massachusetts caught our own PB Smooth being a-salted by a member of the Peanut Gang who was apparently also on his way to Fenway to spread mayhem.

Study these pictures carefully, as Peanut Gang members seem to use a similar M.O.

Notice how the gang member is sidling up to PB Smooth while she's distracted, a similar technique used on Lil Shady.

PB Smooth feels violated when this salty gang member asks her, Do you want to lick my nuts?

Horrifying, we know. Thankfully, PB Smooth has fully recovered from her trauma.

In order to prevent social unrest in our pods, as well as future attacks, PB and Shady will now share with our cowpeas what we have learned thus far;

1) There are some rotten nuts in the world, even though the majority are good.
2) Replacing Cracker Jacks with Crunch N' Munch at the ballpark will always be a bad idea.
3) The lyrics to Take me Out to The Ballgame should not be messed with.
4) Yankee fans have done at least one creamy thing... but, it's only one.
5) ALWAYS STAY ALERT! The Peanut Gang is now an interstate operation!

This has been a PSA brought to you by your #1 source for useless information you can't live without, The PB and Shady Blog.

Good Cause

2008-07-28T22:13:00.002-04:00

So, Nuts most of you know P.B.'s crunchy story of Leukemia. Well, she has a new goal and would like all her smooth and creamy Nuts to assist. Often, P.B. is a big ol' goof but NUTS this is serious. She needs your help in helping The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. P.B. So check out this site for more information. Be prepared for some uplifting stories, some heartbreaking stories, and some reasons why P.B. gives her unconditional support to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

Have you Seen this Salty Nut?

2008-07-28T00:30:00.004-04:00

Apparently this salty nut thought it would be smooth and creamy to copy PB! Except his "salty" nut made it on the television. How crunchy! If any of you nuts have any information as to his whereabouts please inform PB. She needs to crack some shells. Just kidding, PB is a lover not a hater and would like to extend an invitation to this psuedonut to become part of the Nut Clusters!

For those nuts who do not know. PB celebrated her 30th birthday at Citizens Bank Park and all her guests wore these lovely additions along with Hawaiian leis. Apparently this Nut was in awe and copied her idea. PB is very flattered. This game too was at CBP (Mets v. Phillies)

"Nuts Said"

2008-07-28T00:15:00.003-04:00

This is what caused PB's distraction on the 7 Train
Remember to support the Peanut Farmers of the United States

PSA: Watch out for Salty Nuts!

2008-07-27T13:46:00.010-04:00

P.B. Smooth and Lil' Shady were in New York City this weekend and came across a rogue nut who is terrorizing unsuspecting peanut lovers on the subway. Lil' Shady was verbally a-salted by this nut.

Here is Lil' Shady daydreaming about her first-place NY Mets.

Here is that sneaky nut sidling up next to Lil' Shady, who's completely unaware of the bedlam that will ensue.

Shady is horrified when this salty nut asks her, Do you want to see my pea-nus?

PB and Shady are asking all their cowpeas to always be on alert when riding public transportation. Although most nuts are friendly creatures, there are rotten nuts who attempt to spoil the whole bag. At this time, we are unsure if the nut that a-salted Shady is acting on his own or if he's part of the Nut Clusters peanut gang based at Yankee Stadium.

Suspect's Description

1 inch tall
hour glass figure
rough, bumpy shell
light tan colored
burn mark (possibly a gang tatoo) on his waist

He primarily attacks his victims with salty language as his lack of opposable thumbs prevents him from carrying other weapons. He is easily out-run as he has no legs. He was last seen on the 7 train leaving Shea Stadium at around 11:45PM on July 26, 2008.

Stay Alert! Be Safe! And please let us know if you see this nut!

This has been a PSA brought to you by your #1 source for useless information you can't live without, The PB and Shady Blog.

Peanut Eaters Gone Wild!

2008-07-27T13:33:00.007-04:00

PB and Shady were recently caught by cameras filming the much anticipated Peanut Eaters Gone Wild! Real Peanut Eaters, Uncensored and Out of Control! This DVD starts out by demonstrating sexy and original ways to eat peanuts and develops into more...

Girl on girl on peanut action!

Sexy Asians eating peanuts!

Shady Sundae

2008-07-21T15:11:00.003-04:00

So, other than Miss PB Smooth, the creamiest, most supportive cowpea ever, no one really calls Shady a genius. Sure, one can earn a doctorate, but as Shady pays off her students loans instead of having an established career and home, she's beginning to believe that obtaining a doctorate doesn't make one all that bright after all. Anyhoo...

This Saturday, while PB was stalking Mr. Peanut in NYC, Shady was down the shore basking in the adoration of total strangers who were ooh-ing and ahh-ing and literally calling her a genius. Why? Because of her ice cream/toppings choice. If Shady knew that it was this easy to impress, she would have gone straight for the ice cream at age 22, instead of graduate school. Ah, regrets.

Peanuts, here is the "Shady" Sundae!
(no picture - was too distracted by the accolades and the awesomeness of the sundae)

Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
Caramel Sauce
Chopped Peanuts (mandatory!)
Whipped Cream (optional)

1 scoop = Lil' Shady
2 scoops = Shady
3 scoops = Mama Shady
4 scoops = Big Mama Shady
5 scoops = What are you thinking?! You will surely appear on an obesity special on Discovery Health or TLC

So, Shady encourages all nuts to try the Shady Sundae and see why it was all the buzz in Ocean Grove this weekend. Bonus points if you order it simply by name and expect your local ice cream parlor to know what you're ordering!

Mr. Peanut makes it to Broadway

2008-07-20T12:18:00.003-04:00

PB Smooth had a rather smooth and creamy day in the The Big Apple. She and a good friend decided to see a game at Yankee Stadium, not because they like the Yankees (they both have crunchy feelings toward the team) but because this is the House that Ruth built. It is one of the most historic baseball stadiums in the country and it will be no more after this season. In fact after today's game they will only have 29 more games to play there. The day started with that and ended with a spectacular spotting! None other than Mr. Peanut making his appearance on Broadway (next to the Hershey store of course). Congratulations Mr. Peanut and goodbye to the House that Ruth built.

icantdeci.de!

2008-07-10T14:30:00.014-04:00

Lil' Shady would like to share a creamy new app for iPhone. Don't worry, you goobers without an iPhone can still access the site from any browser. Basically, you submit an either/or quandary. Then, you answer five user-submitted quandaries and then are provided with the results of your own. If others star your quandary, thus denoting its significance, it stays in rotation longer. People also have the option to pass on quandaries for which they cannot decide.

To prove that humans will share their opinions about anything, I submitted the following:

To prove that humans will share their opinion about anything, even if they don't know what it means, I submitted the following:

To prove that humans will lie to avoid appearing ignorant, even in anonymous polls, I submitted the following:

Since all of you lovely peanuts who visit this page can make an educated choice in these quandaries, click the poll results above to vote! Don't forget to star so that these polls can stay in rotation!

2nd best PB!

2008-07-06T23:18:00.003-04:00

Help P.B. Smooth's favorite P.B. (Pat Burrell) get into the all-star game. P.B. thinks he is super smooth and creamy! Or the other smooth and creamy NY Mets David Wright. P.B. is attempting to be equal at providing 2 great baseball players with some attention.

Goodbye...but Thank You!

2008-07-04T10:52:00.004-04:00

PB says goodbye to the daily ingestion of pills and weekly injections of medicine. She is grateful for all the hard work the medicine did and prays that its hard work was enough to keep PB healthy for the rest of her life. So, ON America's Day of Independence PB also celebrates her independence from a disease that has ruled her life for the past 2 1/2 years (actually longer but PB will only recognize its destruction during the past 2 1/2 years) and from medication which has made her appreciate all the gifts she has and all her AMAZING friends who have helped her manage not to jump off any bridges or purchase any weapons which could cause bodily harm. Despite some losses she has gained a lot. So PB salutes her amazing friends today: Lil'Shady - Jelly! Jelly!, Erin - Jelly! Jelly!, and Kristen - Jelly! Jelly!

THANK YOU!

Now, PB is back to the couch.

Discontinued?

2008-06-27T09:27:00.003-04:00

PB was upset to find they have discontinued her favorite PB. Ok, they didn't even consult PB. What were they thinking? Now, PB is on the hunt for an equivalent. Her brand was Simply Jiff, which had 1/3 less sugar and calories w/o taking away the peanutty goodness. Any suggestions nuts? She does partake in the natural PB but needs a substitute for work. Speaking of work, PB is currently on the hunt for the coworker who has been eating her PB. Now, Pb doesn't mind sharing but not her PB when it is what she has been able to consume these last few weeks. If any of you nuts hear anything please be sure to pass it along to PB.

When are...

2008-06-27T09:20:00.002-04:00

49, 14, 7, and 1 all equal numbers? When it means PB only has 1 more week of treatments! Now that is super smooth and creamy. PB is currently operating in survival mode, which is extremely primitive and any extra smiling, warmth, and energy is no longer available. She is pretty much crawling this last mile of the 48 mile marathon that she has been on for the past almost year of her life. Talk about totally crunchy. However, a new and improved PB, guaranteed freshness and satisfaction, will be unveiled July 5th. So save the dates nuts.

Special Request

2008-06-08T22:42:00.004-04:00

PB and Shady were asked to comment on MLB's recent crunchy occurrence at a Seattle Mariners game on May 26. For those of you nuts who do not know the story a recent lesbian couple was thrown out of the game for kissing. PB personally is not offended and has many nuts of differing shells. PB will say that she is not a personal fan of overindulging PDA (probably b/c PB just enjoys watching the game and frankly has a hard time concentrating on anything but). PB is tolerant of many different shells and ways to crack shells but is intolerant of salty practices b/c the shells are of differing colors. So PB thinks that as long as these nuts (weather of hetero or homo nuts) are engaging in a smooth with their honey nut to please remember there is a BALLGAME occurring on the field isn't this why hard earned shells are being spent? In the end, can we just play ball? PB and Shady would love to hear your Jelly! Jelly! comments on the story.

Smooth Surprise

2008-06-08T22:24:00.002-04:00

PB wants to give a big Jelly! Jelly! to Ms. Kristen on her recent Bachelor of Science acquisition. Not only did she obtain this degree but was able to maintain a near perfect (3.99) GPA while working full time. Not an easy shell to crack by any stretch of the nut.

So she decided to have a peanut gallery to celebrate which was totally off the Nut! But this time she went above and beyond herself by providing PB with a smooth surprise at the peanut gallery. PB has been spinning her jar lately trying to determine if she is ready to begin the quest of finding her boy spoon dream. Ms. Kristen provided a totally name brand surprise. PB had invited a Principal Nut to this celebration, which he accepted but then it became chunky because plans fell through. Unknown to PB the chunky situation was resolved and he contacted Ms. Kristen to obtain directions to surprise PB. What a honey nut or what? This SMOOTHNESS NEVER happens to PB. She arrived fashionably late to the peanut gallery to find her honey principal nut friend eagerly awaiting her arrival. Wow! It definitely was no generic night for PB. So PB salutes Ms. Kristen and Principal nut for giving her a wonderful smooth surprise!

Happy Birthday!

2008-06-01T13:22:00.006-04:00

PB and Lil' shady wish Erin's words a big smooth and creamy Happy 30th birthday. Thanks for joining us Nuts. Fellow Nuts please stop by to wish her a wonderful day and give her a big Jelly! Jelly!

Finally...

2008-05-26T23:17:00.003-04:00

PB is finally back in the saddle again. She has decided that dating is worth another shot and she has met a very worthwhile prospect. Despite being energy depleted this man has provided her with a renewed interest in dating. Thus far, he has proven to be extremely creamy with his ability to provide PB with extra care. He has been totally smooth with PB's life circumstances and all her varied interests. Did PB also mention he is a nut of sports including baseball? Could he become PB's next boy cowpea? Is he PB's spoon dream? She certainly is not going to weevil any chances to not stick around and find out. PB does have some hesitation and he understands that PB is a little brittle right now since Idiot Boy's crunchy act of splitting from PB. So let's give Mr. PB Smooth a big Jelly!Jelly!

HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY P.B. SMOOTH!

2008-05-20T00:01:00.000-04:00

Birthday Haiku

today was the day
the world was never the same
you sprouted to life!

Love, Lil' Shady

BIRTHDAY CARD

Pre-birthday Haiku

2008-05-19T18:40:00.004-04:00

your friendship is like
a bag of fresh roasted nuts
warm and comforting

The Winds of Change

2008-05-12T21:30:00.003-04:00

PB can smell the roasted peanut dust in the air that there will be many exciting events and changes occurring in the next few weeks (and for Lil' Shady too). PB and her fellow Monkey Nut Lil Shady look forward to their upcoming ceremonial debut as doctors of psychology. Then they move onto a fun-filled day at the Ballpark where it will be all the peanuts a nut can eat. Third, PB will celebrate graciously another blessed year alive on this planet, humbly of course. Finally, the much anticipated return of So You Think You Can Dance will make its seasonal debut! PB is not sure how she will be able to contain all this smooth and creamy excitement?

It Finally Happened!

2008-04-27T09:19:00.004-04:00

April 26, 2008 was a totally historic moment. PB decided to take her 1 and only nephew cowpea to the Reading Phillies AA minor league baseball game last night! Now, her Nephew cowpea is not so found of America's favorite past time, so she was a little nervous. BUT he loved it. He even got his baseball signed by several of the players which made him giggle like a school girl. Ha ha. And that is when PB found her future husband. AHHHH and is it a coincidence that when PB glanced into his peanut shaped eyes, he looked at hers too? Ahhh sigh. so here is a little background information PB dug up on her new obsession with none other than LF Luke Appert. yes, Nuts, w/o even knowing it PB fell in love with yet another LFer. Nuts you must remember Mr. Pat Burrell also hailed from the R. Phils! He seems like a stand up guy? No? He is only 2 years younger than PB, which she can handle. So, there are several problems: 1) he lives in Minnesota, -which might be a fine state PB doesn't know and 2) he doesn't know PB exists - unless you count the 2 times he looked into PB's eyes and Momma PB asked him if he was married. PB might have been drooling at that point, not sure. Sigh. so if any of my fellow Nuts know Mr. Luke Appert would you kindly pass along my blog and tell him PB will gladly support his fine posterior until his big major league debut? And Mr. Luke Appert if you are reading this, THANK YOU, now will you marry PB? PB promises no peanut themed weddings (since so many nuts are allergic). And there was yet one more historical event that occurred but PB cannot share at this time since it is a secret. PB is not good at secrets. But in due time Nuts it will be revealed and PB can't wait!!!! PB salutes Luke Appert. How does Dr. PB Appert sound?

Take 2 Haiku

2008-04-25T20:25:00.005-04:00

PERSNIKITTY

trying to budget
but imogen drew the line -
generic cat food

IRONY

vexatious woman
questioning every food price
then forgot two bags

What can Brown do for PB?

2008-04-24T20:16:00.002-04:00

PB had to attend to some business at the East Petersburg post office Wednesday morning to make sure a sweet package arrived in Flushing, NY for a very dear friend. And many of you Nuts may know that the USPS can (and usually does) bring some creamy adventure. Well, Nuts on this very high pollen filled morning air, the postal gods were kind to PB and she had a smooth transition of the sweet goods to these wonderful federal workers. But wait... you ask what does Brown have to do with anything? As PB turned out of the parking lot she came face to face with a red light. "Darn, how salty." But then to PB's wondering eyes doth appear but a UPS truck with a very tanned legged driver! And right behind him another very cute tanned legged driver! And to make this even nuttier a third very cute tanned legged driver! Ahhh PB was in her PB&J. The gods were pleased with PB this day. She was very thankful to have the salty red light stop her in her trail. So UPS PB gives you a ginormous Jelly! Jelly! And PB thanks your muthas for producing such fine tanned legged men to ease PB's pollen filled eyes so early in the morning. PB also salutes her financial planning wizard friend in Flushing for requesting a sweet deal. Have a safe trip!

Happy Earth Day!

2008-04-22T20:34:00.002-04:00

Please remember to treat her kindly...

PSA: Smelly Feet = Death

2008-04-19T20:57:00.006-04:00

So, Shady was watching one of her favorite, on-in-the-background-while-doing-other-work-while-passing-the-time-until-the-Mets-game-comes-on-because-of-the-stupid-late-start-because-of-stupid-fox-saturday-baseball shows, Snapped, on the Oxygen Network.

In case you haven't seen this genius of a show, it features women who have, um, snapped, and killed someone because of what usually comes down to either 1) jealousy or 2) money.

Well, today my nuts, this is what happened. Woman sends friend insulting email, in which she tells her that her feet smell bad. Woman later chainsaws to death said smelly foot friend in the basement and disposes of her body in parts at the local dump. Those must have been some smelly *ss feet.

Death over smelly feet is not an isolated incident.

This article is about a man who stabbed his roommate to death after being insulted about his smelly feet.

Smelly feet also caused a stink in Berlin earlier this year when police were called to a residence over a foul smelling corpse. Turns out it was *only* a tenant's malodorous feet.

What can we do about this nuts?

Industrious Japanese inventors are working on mint shoes to help people avoid the "shame of smelly feet." Anyone smell a Nobel Peace Prize?

So, nuts, as summer approaches and your feet are given the opportunity to breathe, remember to take gentle care of your feet, and to take insults about your feet seriously. Remember, Shady's simple equation: Smelly Feet = Death.

This has been a PSA brought to you by your #1 source for useless information you can't live without, The PB and Shady Blog.

We are Over means...

2008-04-09T22:43:00.003-04:00

Could you Nuts please enlighten PB's jar and tell her what part of "I Know we are Over" implies that PB still wants to have a romantic relationship? Yes, PB too was perplexed by this and has yet to be able to figure that out. Apparently the Ex Boy Cowpea is dumber than she thought. Crunch this Nuts. The ex Boy Cowpea does not have the figurative nuts to tell her that he wants this to be over BUT has the figurative nuts to assume PB still wants some kind of relationship after he comes out of the weevil induced fog that is occupying the space where his once intelligent brain resided. Tsk Tsk Boy Cowpea. PB only wanted to be friends sorry she no longer wishes to have you as her #1 Boy Cowpea. Watch out Boy Cowpeas... PB will soon be ready to crack some Nuts (well figuratively speaking of course since PB is a lover not a hater)!

Baseball and PB have their own Lingo...coincidence?

2008-04-06T10:50:00.002-04:00

PB thinks not. So here you go nuts some commonly used words/phrases in baseball (just in time for the beginning of the season for those not as familiar with the lingo). Information provided by http://philadelphia.phillies.mlb.com/mlb/official_info/baseball_basics/lingo.jsp

Baseball Basics: Lingo

A fan's guide to commonly-used terms and phrases.

ace -- A team's best starting pitcher.

alley-- The section of the outfield between the outfielders. Also "gap."

around the horn-- A double play going from third base to second to first.

backdoor slider -- A pitch that appears to be out of the strike zone, but then breaks back over the plate.
bag -- A base.

Baltimore chop -- A ground ball that hits in front of home plate (or off of it) and takes a large hop over the infielder's head.

bandbox-- A small ballpark that favors hitters.

bang-bang play -- A play in which the baserunner hits the bag a split-second before the ball arrives or vice versa.

basket catch -- When a fielder catches a ball with his glove near belt level.

Bronx cheer -- When the crowd boos.
brushback -- A pitch that nearly hits a batter.

bush -- Also "bush league." An amateur play or behavior.
can of corn -- An easy catch by a fielder.

caught looking -- When a batter is called out on strikes.

cellar -- Last place. Also "basement."

cheese -- Also "good cheese." Refers to a good fastball.

chin music -- A pitch that is high and inside.

circus catch -- An outstanding catch by a fielder.

closer -- A team's relief pitcher who finishes the game.

cutter -- A cut fastball (one with a late break to it).

cycle -- When a batter hits a single, double, triple and home run in the same game.

dinger -- A home run.

dish -- Home plate.

fireman -- A team's closer or late-inning relief pitcher.
fungo -- A ball hit to a fielder during practice. It's usually hit by a coach using a "fungo bat," which is longer and thinner than a normal bat.

gap -- See "alley." A ball hit here is a "gapper."
gopher ball -- A pitch hit for a home run, as in "go for."

heat -- A good fastball. Also "heater."

high and tight -- Referring to a pitch that's up in the strike zone and inside on a hitter. Also known as "up and in."

hill -- Pitcher's mound.

homer -- A home run. Other terms include: blast, dinger, dong, four-bagger, four-base knock, moon shot, tape-measure blast and tater.

hot corner -- Third base.

in the hole -- The batter after the on-deck hitter.

jam -- When a hitter gets a pitch near his hands, he is "jammed." Also when a pitcher gets himself in trouble, he is in a "jam."

leather -- Refers to how good a player plays defensively or handles the glove. Ex: "He flashed some leather on that play."

meatball -- An easy pitch to hit, usually right down the middle of the plate.

Mendoza line -- A batting average of around .200.

moon shot -- A very long, high home run.

nail down -- As in "nail down a victory." Refers to a relief pitcher finishing off the game.

on the screws -- When a batter hits the ball hard. Also "on the button."

painting the black -- When a pitcher throws the ball over the edge of the plate.

pea -- A ball traveling at high speed, either batted or thrown.

pepper -- Pepper is a common pre-game exercise where one player bunts brisk grounders and line drives to a group of fielders who are standing about 20 feet away. The fielders try to throw it back as quickly as possible. The batter hits the return throw. (Some ballparks ban pepper games because wild pitches could land in the stands and injure spectators).

pick -- A good defensive play by an infielder on a ground ball. Also a shortened version of "pick-off."

pickle -- A rundown.

punchout -- A strikeout.

rhubarb -- A fight or scuffle.

ribbie -- Another way of saying RBI. Also "ribeye."

rope -- A hard line drive hit by a batter. Also "frozen rope."

rubber game -- The deciding game of a series.

run-down -- When a baserunner gets caught between bases by the fielders.

Ruthian -- With great power.

seeing-eye single -- A soft ground ball that finds its way between infielders for a base hit.

set-up man -- A relief pitcher who usually enters the game in the 7th or 8th inning.

shoestring catch -- A running catch made just above the fielder's shoetops.
southpaw -- A left-handed pitcher.

sweet spot -- The part of the bat just a few inches from the barrel.

table setter -- Batter whose job is to get on base for other hitters to drive him in. Usually a leadoff or No. 2 hitter.

tape-measure blast -- An extremely long home run.

tater -- A home run.

Texas Leaguer -- A bloop hit that drops between an infielder and outfielder.

tools of ignorance -- Catcher's equipment.

touch 'em all -- Hitting a home run (touching all the bases).

twin killing -- A double play.

Uncle Charlie -- Curve ball.

utility player -- A player who fills in at many positions.

wheelhouse -- A hitter's power zone. Usually a pitch waist-high and over the heart of the plate.

wheels -- A ballplayer's legs.

whiff -- Strikeout.

yakker -- Curve ball.

Prepared by the Publishing Department of Major League Baseball Properties.

1 Step Back, 2 Steps Forward

2008-04-05T08:52:00.005-04:00

"The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." - Chinese Proverb
It is no secret that PB has gone through a number of crunchy weevils in her short lifetime on the planet Earth. And there are times when she is overly discouraged with her "so-called" Life but then she reads things like the above saying. The title of this blog really expresses PB's life. Most people often say it in reverse "2 steps back, 1 step forward". How negativistic can we be? So do PB a chop and let her impart her words of peanuts upon all you Nuts.

First, when PB is faced with crunchy situations she will often take a day (or week) to cry, yell, vent, buy peanut company stock, purchase new threads, eat a ton of chocolate covered peanuts, etc. She calls this her cleansing process. Now, mind you Nuts, PB does this for those crunchy situations that cause major life disruptions (i.e. Boy Cowpea of 8 months decides that he can't handle the truth anymore after giving PB support for those 8 months and runs away with his tail between his legs like a coward rather than facing whatever is causing such distress not when you break a fingernail). After she has pulled herself together she then develops a plan with several goals in mind. This helps her put her head down and plunge forward. Nuts, Life is short and we might lose sometimes but think about all those times when you won even more than expected. So this recent crunchy event has helped PB refocus. She was dwelling on what she hasn't been able to do for the last 8 months or so (thanks to the reminder by a certain Lil Shady and Erin). This was consistently bringing her down and then Boy Cowpea did the unthinkable and frankly she needs to thank him. It reminded PB of everything she has been able to do during the last 8 months of chemotherapy: 1) work full time, 2) study (or try) for licensure exam, 3) root for the Eagles & Phillies with emotion (PB would be disqualified from the Philly fan club if she didn't), 4) spend time with friends, 5) spend time with her Nephew Cowpea, 6) enjoy the simple things in life, 7) bird watch, 8) pray, 9) slow down (which PB finds the hardest of all the things), and the list goes on... so Nuts despite this totally crunchy situation (chemotherapy and Boy Cowpea), PB has a lot for which to be thankful.

Finally, what has PB done to combat her anxiety and this totally crunchy situation. Well, she developed a plan, recognized that this was not about her, realized that Boy Cowpea has some issues he needs to work on, and finally she said that this was beyond her control (and PB doesn't like things beyond her control who does?) and said she can only keep her side of the street clean. So, in the end PB has become more devoted to her spirituality, has started reconnecting with some friends she has lost contact (PB's facebook friend's list grows daily), been doing things she didn't have time for before b/c she was spending time with Boy Cowpea (like cleaning those dust bunnies from under the bed - don't worry fellow Nuts PB never overdoes it and only tackles 1 chore every other night or so), been able to spend some time with Momma PB, and best of all devote time to the Phillies (Boy Cowpea was not a baseball fan - he would watch it but not with the same vigor PB does - was that a sign from the baseball gods or what?) So nuts take from all this when life throws unspeakably crunchy situations your way remember the 3 R's: redirection, refocus, and recommitment. There is no need to work extra hard when these things happen just figure out a what went wrong (to the best of your ability - at least on your end) and make a plan for it to not happen again. And let's just say if PB can have this attitude, most people can (and PB's life isn't near as hard as others- just sucks some of the time).

"Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance." - Samuel Johnson

Have any of you Nuts seen Lil' Shady?

2008-04-03T23:23:00.002-04:00

Lil' Shady has been M.I.A. on the blog? PB fears the chunky rift among Mr. Peanut, Mr. Met, and the Philly Phanatic may have driven her to seek out other less than smooth Nuts. Is it true? If any of PB's Nuts have seen Lil' Shady let her know she is missed.

Happy PB&J day!

2008-04-02T19:56:00.002-04:00

Hey Nuts. Make sure to squeeze that PB&J in your life a little extra hard tonight. Afterall it is PB&J day.

Baseball Quotes of the Day

2008-03-31T23:01:00.002-04:00

"There is always some kid who may be seeing me for the first or last time, I owe him my best.”

“You always get a special kick on opening day, no matter how many you go through. You look forward to it like a birthday party when you're a kid. You think something wonderful is going to happen.”

“A person always doing his or her best becomes a natural leader, just by example.”

-Joe DiMaggio

The Creamy Smooth Day has Arrived...finally

2008-03-31T22:38:00.004-04:00

Ahh Baseball! Need PB say more? Baseball!

Now, this is where my Nutter Lil' Shady and PB disagree. We do not see shell to shell on our favorite baseball teams. That being said PB and Lil' Shady will unite their baseball cream when it comes to rooting against those axis of evil teams, i.e. New York Yankees (PB has as many crunchy feelings about them as she does about the Dallas Cowgirls). so Nuts there will be many roasts occurring on this blog from now until October. 160 glorious games to play, yet. PB hopes to set an annual record of ballgames attended this year. So any of you other Nuts out there like baseball and want to catch some cracks at the bat you just jelly! jelly! PB and we will spin on into the ballpark!

PB watched her 1st smooth baseball game from a close friend's pod last evening. Ahh the smoothness of Joe Morgan and Jon Miller's voices just soothes PB's frazzled and frayed nerves. Now the only other baseball voice which makes PB just melt into extra creaminess is that of none other than the Philadelphia Phillies broadcaster, Harry Kalas. PB finds his broadcasting style enjoyable, albeit Mr. Kalas has been making a few more mistakes over these past years. Nonetheless, he is a baseball great. PB salutes PB's pick of the week as a baseball great!

Quotes for those half shell kind of days (or PBesque lives)

2008-03-26T21:38:00.002-04:00

Bhagavad Gita – it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.

Courage is doing what you are afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
-Eddie Rickenbacher

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.
-Buddha

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to think, to enjoy, to love.
-Marcus Aurelius

Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.
-william James

"These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death."
-Thomas Paine, The Crisis, 1776

Character is much easier kept than recovered.
-Thomas Paine

The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.
-Thomas Paine

For the Love of Butter PB gets Philosophical

2008-03-26T21:22:00.002-04:00

PB knows her Nut Clusters are wondering where she has been amidst the scandalous rift between Mr. Peanut, Mr. Met, and the Philly Phanatic. Well, some uncontrollable events which occurred when PB was just a 7 year old cowpea have caused some other unfortunate events to occur which in turn caused some others to make decisions about the future of PB and her heart. In other words… PB had been dating a wonderful male Cowpea for almost a year prior to him deciding to break the shell that bound them together! It turns out this Mr. Male Cowpea is having some serious crunch feelings regarding the decisions we have to make as adult Nuts. …Let’s start at the very beginning. When PB was a 7 year old cowpea she was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL – and not the laundry detergent Nuts). She received 2 years of chemotherapy but received many many years of amazing adventures at a summer camp just for kids with cancer (so that is the smooth and creamy side). But the story does get sad during her treatment PB unfortunately contracted another disease as a result of the ALL, which she thought she would be able to live with and be just fine. Well, much to PB’s chunky dismay this has not been so. Turns out 2 years ago PB learned she would have to undergo intense! (beyond chunky) treatments which are akin to chemotherapy. Sigh. PB had many sleepless nights agonizing over what the right decision should be and frankly how to come up with the right decision still perplexes PB. Finally, she decided it would be the best thing for herself and her future life expectancy to follow through with the treatments. PB understands her obligations to her fellow Nuts and wants to continue the tour for a very long time. … Fast forward to current day… PB decided to start dating prior to starting treatments… met this Boy Cowpea and things started slowly and she then told him what she would be experiencing and all about her disease. She explained all the risks and side effects. He decided to stick by PB(likw jelly) and offered unending support of her during the beginning and middle stages of treatment. It was not until recently that PB learned he had other feelings which did not lend to wanting to be with PB anymore. Now, what scrapes PB’s shell is that he is getting extremely wrong information and has not been listening to PB. Furthermore, PB recognizes that this has nothing to do with PB but everything to do with this Boy Cowpea and his intense anxious feelings regarding feelings and health. She realized that any time he has been in a relationship for this period of time and the shell gets put in the roaster he cracks and splits off (as if to run away with a cashew- and all us nuts know the cashew is the easy way out in the nut world). PB recognized that he seems to struggle with those innermost feelings that we have for nuts when we coincide in the same shell. So PB asks that you not have crunchy or chunky feelings towards this Boy Cowpea but instead send him smooth and creamy thoughts. Afterall, PB is a lover not a hater and she honestly prays that Boy Cowpea will be able to find peace and see that this is going to be a life long issue unless he faces the fact that relationships are: 1) hard, 2) about the difficult times in life not the smooth and creamy ones, 3) not guaranteed to be smooth sailing, and 4) are not always 50/50. Nuts, life is not guaranteed, nothing is. Everything can change in a split second (there are too many examples and too numerous to mention) and PB honestly feels life is greater in love but it is a risky pursuit but so very worth the extra step to break the proverbial shell. So wish my Boy Cowpea well and pray that he may be able to do some self-examination and reflection that can provide him with growth that will be necessary for him to sustain a meaningful relationship. PB has analyzed and fully understands that he is doing what most men will do when faced with those...dare PB say it...e-m-o-t-i-o-n-s. Remember Nuts always get accurate information from the expert Nuts and always be honest. Talk about things and seek out the experts when you need to. PB would also like to say that even though someone might have an illness, that doesn't change who that person is, especially if you say "I love you". There are no buts in love... keep it on the half shell ya'all. PB would love to hear any words of wisdom and support that all her Nuts have to offer. Also pass out PB's blogs to all your other blogger friends. Next post will consist of some great quotes to get you Nuts through those split shell kind of days (or lives if you are PB).

Breaking News: Nutty Rift is a "Threat to National Security"

2008-03-05T14:27:00.004-05:00

March 5, 2008 – Washington, D.C. – The Washington elite gathered at the White House this morning in response to the ongoing Mr. Peanut/Mr. Met dramedy. The press conference began with Condoleezza Rice declaring the rift between the two mascots to be a “threat to national security” and urging the two sides to “reconcile as quickly as possible.” Meanwhile, President Bush expressed concern that the conflict in the peanut world was interfering with the celebration of his favorite national celebration, Peanut month, which began March 1st, and will end with the 1,000,000 Peanut March in D.C. at the end of the month.

The successful resolution of Peanut Gate was also a top priority to the presidential candidates. Barack Obama was quoted in Texas last night as stating, "Yes we can end the peanut feud!". In response, Hillary Clinton, who was spending the night in Ohio, accused Obama of making empty promises and pointed to her 35 years of being a nutter as evidence that she is the best candidate to restore relations between Mr. Met and Mr Peanut.

In the most promising moment of the press conference, Mr. Met received a text message from Mr. Peanut offering to meet with Mets officials in a closed door meeting to discuss their dispute. The large crowd erupted in applause when Mr. Met shared the news with them, although no other details of the meeting were disclosed. Mr. Met left the press conference in the MetsMobile, waving to fans and flashing his large plastered smile, but it was unclear whether or not he was headed directly to the meeting with Mr. Peanut.

Stay tuned to PB and Shady for the latest developments in this ongoing dramedy!

PB hits the proverbial Brick Wall

2008-03-02T23:00:00.003-05:00

PB has figured out what she has been experiencing. The chunky and crunchy feelings are most likely related to her “hitting the wall”. As she was watching the Discovery Channel’s presentation on the Human Body: Pushing the Limits, she realized that her chunkiness is a result of this phenomenon that most athletes experience. Even when PB was running a smooth 9:00 mile she had difficulty getting over this proverbial brick wall. For some reason her brain has difficulty switching into this mode of “survival”. As most of you Nuts know she has been going through the most salty weevil of things in her life and has been struggling to find a way to make it a honey roast. Well, Nuts no such luck. But maybe there is something to be said of this Brick Wall? So there are many creamy and smooth ways for a marathon runner to grind through this chunky brick wall but what about PB's slower more Natural Peanut Butter brain who needs to be stirred on occasion? What's a nut to do? In PB's search for the miraculous solution she came upon an energy diagram which is seen below. It has been determined that PB needs to become a smooth and creamy Player rather than Spectator! So Nuts could you do me a Chop and send me some smooth and creamy vibes? PB being a player will all be new but maybe with it being Peanut month and all PB could find some inner nut strength! Please unshell any nutrageous ideas you might have to provide PB with some insight to crack the shell of the proverbial brick wall.

Breaking News: Crunchy Deal Witnessed?

2008-02-28T15:46:00.008-05:00

February 28, 2008 - Port St. Lucie, Florida - In a surprising twist in the ongoing Mr. Peanut/Mr. Met dramedy, an anonymous source leaked a photo of Mr. Peanut apparently shaking hands with an unidentified nut after an exchange of a large, unmarked envelope and a pound of peanuts. At this time, authorities are asking the peanut gallery to come forward if they have any details concerning the nature of this exchange.

Mr. Met, in Port St. Lucie for Spring training with the Mets, was visibly shocked when asked to comment on the photograph. The plastic smile on the unflappingly happy humanoid appeared to melt into an undeniable frown, while large painted tears mysteriously appeared. Mr. Met mumbled "no comment" and was quickly ushered to a chartered jet, presumably on his way to an official press conference scheduled by the Mets in New York later today.

As always, stay tuned to P.B. and Shady for all the latest developments in the peanut world!

Breaking News: Nutty Rift Confirmed!

2008-02-27T17:22:00.010-05:00

February 27, 2008 – New York, New York – In what can only be called a shocking turn of events, Mr. Peanut, the mascot of Planters Peanuts and a long-time fan of the New York Mets, officially declared his allegiance to the Philadelphia Phillies, confirming the rumored rift between himself and Mr. Met, the beloved mascot of the New York Mets. The much anticipated press release comes on the heels of an inflammatory picture of Mr. Peanut in Phillies clothing that was posted on the #1 investigative peanut blog, P.B. and Shady. Although Mr. Peanut's words were brief, his reference to Mr. Met as a "bulbous baseball buffoon" clearly confirmed the dissolution of his long-standing friendship with Mr. Met and the New York Mets organization.

Mr. Peanut, an anthropomorphic peanut dressed as an old-fashioned gentleman, had been a fan of the New York Mets since the baseball team’s establishment in 1962, and was hired by the team in 1963 to mentor Mr. Met, the baseball-headed humanoid who wears a Mets cap and uniform. Mr. Met stated that he was deeply saddened by the picture of his former mentor in Phillies gear and his subsequent statements, calling Mr. Peanut’s actions a “personal attack” and “anything but gentleman-like,” given the well documented feud between Mr. Met and the Phillie Phanatic, the furry, foul-smelling, clumsy mascot of the Philadelphia Phillies.

The salty roast of Mr. Met by Mr. Peanut was just the latest development in the bizarre chain of events involving the beleagured mascot. According to a source close to Mr. Peanut who spoke on the condition on anonymity, the peanut’s downward spiral began in 2006, when Planters Peanuts proposed that Mr. Peanut’s old-fashioned clothing required an update, and encouraged fans to vote for changes, including a “wife beater” and a dude rag. Although fans ultimately voted for “no change”, Mr. Peanut’s ego was shaken by his company’s apparent lack of confidence in the awesomeness of his spats. His rotten mood allegedly spoiled his relationships with his closest mascot friends, including Sprout, who he called “a precocious bastard.” Sprout’s green-skinned foster giant retorted that Mr. Peanut was “obviously a salty nut who was green with envy.”

In September 2007, an alleged rift between Mr. Met and Mr. Peanut was speculated when all of the peanuts mysteriously disappeared from Shea Stadium. Although no arrests were made, a Mets food vendor assisted police artists in rendering a drawing [shown left] of the alleged suspect. An angry confrontation between Mr. Met and Mr. Peanut in the Mets locker room was observed in horror by the Mets players, although Manager Willie Randolph forbade his players from commenting on the situation. However, sources close to the Mets believe that “Peanut Gate” resulted in a player distraction from which the team never recovered, and may have been to blame for the Mets’ historic collapse at the end of the 2007 season.

In response to today’s press release by Mr. Peanut, The New York Mets announced that they will be holding a press conference soon to address Mr. Mets' relationship with Mr. Peanut. Coverage of the press conference will be available exclusively on the P.B. and Shady blog as this historic story unfolds.

PB has a Date

2008-02-22T12:26:00.005-05:00

PB is filled with anxiety as she awaits her first date. It is as if she is going to meet the man that will become her husband. PB stresses what to wear, which hat will be the most appropriate? Which flip flops are the best for today’s weather? PB anticipates the smells of pine tar, hot dogs, beer, and PEANUTS! Yes, PB has a date with the opening of BASEBALL season. 162 games to play and they ALL count. So in honor of this opening game PB has developed her list of the 25 reasons why Baseball is superior to say… Football. PB enjoys football and watches it religiously but given a choice between the two…shells down…Baseball. She would like to credit some of the ideas to Washington Post’s Thomas Boswell who in 1987 wrote the 99 reasons why baseball is better than football, which was ingenious. PB has tried to add her PB flair to her list of 25. Play Ball!

PB's 25 Reason's why Baseball is Great
1. The uniqueness of each and every ballpark. Some bad, some ugly, some fan friendly, some hitter park friendly, the foul poles, the turf, the wind, the size, any unusual obstacles in the outfield?
2.Love him or hate him even George Steinbrenner saw the light
3. Abott and Costello (and a side note that Costello was a Peanut vendor in the skit)- how can you not laugh when you even think about the 4 minute exchange of Who’s on First?
4. Fans in flip flops and shorts holding a cold beer!
5. Take me out to the Ballgame 7th inning stretch is as universal as the National Anthem
6. Bubblegum blowing relief pitchers, catchers, managers, and mascots – no headsets here
7. Head coach vs. umpire showdowns. There is nothing better than dirt being kicked on an ump by an angry manager or maybe spit flying in an ump’s face? Nuts decide
8. Batting practice
9. Fly, Foul, or Homerun Balls
10. Plenty of time to get a hot dog, use the restroom, and enjoy the view
11. 162 games which are available on several mediums and some are free to all. The nostalgia of AM radio and a baseball game
12. Baseball has manners – no coin toss here
13. Baseball equipment: bat, ball, cup and helmet. Football equipment: cup, helmet, mouth guard, face guard, pads, gloves, darkened out mask guard, bling, etc.
14. Baseball players play the entire game unless they are Aaron Rowand and make an outstanding sacrifice of the body while still MAKING the play!
15. 9 innings to make a comeback with no 2 minute warning
16. No ONE watches the World Series for the commercials
17. Every baseball team has the same types of schedule – each team will play easy and hard teams no need to modify schedules to create competitiveness
18. No flags. We know when it’s a homerun, we don’t wait with baited breath to see if it is a Homerun or not
19. A baseball team changes each year even with the same players and managers
20. Baseball is easier to watch in any form. Football has many points of focus, watch one and you miss a ton of other important information.
21. Every baseball player counts and they all need to be working together at the same time.
22. You never see a team ask a crowd to be quiet
23. It takes control and moderation to win the game of baseball not bruit force
24. Doubleheaders
25. Baseball players have far superior posteriors than football players – no added pads there female nuts.

Nuts feel free to leave comments as to why Baseball is so great.

Man Holidays- ugh

2008-02-18T21:56:00.003-05:00

PB finds it rather annoying when most organizations get these man holidays off. What does PB mean by a "man holiday". Well, they are those annoying days when the banks are closed, post offices are closed, and all govermental workers have off. And all of those days are in celebration of men. Where are the women's holidays? Do women ever get a day off? No. PB was complaining to a friend regarding this and she was informed there is an International Women's Day which is celebrated March 8th. This event has been happening since 1911! And Philadelphia is finally celebrating its 1st International Women's Day. Yes, your Nutclustered eyes read that correctly, its 1st! Can the US please wake up and smell the roasted Nuts? Women should be celebrated too.

On a side note, PB would like to extend some Get Well wishes to her friend Bill. This Peanut would also like to wish you creamy vibes and a smooth recovery!

Characters with Monocles?

2008-02-17T09:38:00.004-05:00

PB was contemplating this morning what historical characters (real or imagined) wore monocles? The only person who she could think of was the Monoply man. Does he have a name? PB also wondered if a character wears a monocle does he/she also need to wear a top hat? Are there any other Nuts out there that have answers to these profound world saving philosophical questions? Also Nuts do not forget to vote for your top 10 favorite cities to be added to the Monopoly board. So if PB's Nut Clusters around the world could provide her with some of these answers post a reply.

Don't forget to vote for your favorite company mascot and what each of their "kryptonite" would be!

News Alert: Mr. Peanut Announcement

2008-02-16T22:10:00.005-05:00

Earlier this evening in an unprecedented move by Mr. Peanut he made a special announcement. He declared his unconditional support to the Philadelphia Phillies as his team for the 2008 Baseball season. Pat Burrell’s bobble head also made an appearance, as Pat Burrell himself was unavailable due to the beginning of spring training.

P.S. PB found another blogger who has obsessional thoughts regarding the smooth and creamy posterior of Mr. Pat Burrell. Ok female Nuts PB knows he went to the U of Miami and is probably a box of rocks... but he can certainly chop PB's nuts any time he wants.

Baseball Life Lessons

2008-02-15T12:12:00.006-05:00

Here are Shady's top 20 life lessons she has learned from baseball:

20. Things are often more complicated than they look.
19. Be ready to play every day...
18. But everybody needs a day off sometimes.
17. Versatility and depth will bring success, especially when the game goes long.
16. It’s not over ‘til it’s over!
15. There is no time limit on winning.
14. It’s normal to strike out sometimes.
13. An amazing play can happen at any moment.
12. The most important game is the one being played at that moment.
11. Small changes can produce large results.
10. Everyone is important.
9. Anyone can be a hero.
8. No one can win alone.
7. Long term results matter more than short term results.
6. The best plays involve many people doing their very best.
5. Sometimes you have to take it one base at a time.
4. Losing streaks are inevitable, but so are winning streaks.
3. Sometimes you have to allow others to help you arrive safely home.
2. Stealing is okay, as long as you don’t get caught! (just kidding)
1. Nothing is better than celebrating at home (plate) with your friends.

Today in History

2008-02-14T19:52:00.006-05:00

What is this Valentine's Day that I keep hearing everyone talk about?

To Shady, February 14th is an important day because:

1817: Frederick Douglass' Birthday (read A Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave or Life and Times of Frederick Douglass if you haven't already - life-changing reads! Makes Shady want to be a better peanut.)
1920: League of Women Voters was established
1950: USSR and China sign peace treaty
1963: First successful kidney transplant
2008: Mets pitchers and catchers report for spring training

The best "love"-related quote today - Service is love in work clothes.

Go out there, nuts and pay it forward!

Enough already

2008-02-13T07:48:00.003-05:00

PB is sick and tired of the advertisements for Valentine's Day. Now, PB is not one of those jaded women; however, do we really need to see all those advertisements for Kay jewelers, over priced "pajama grams", over priced Vermont teddy bears, and of course the totally crunchy red rose bouquet? totally chunky and expired says PB. When grown male Nuts go into tizzies over whether to send the roses to work or home says there is something wrong.

so what should all the Nuts do? PB says get creative, spontaneous, or do something good for the world. So if some of you nuts are going to shell out $50+ on flowers that will die in 2 days than might PB suggest adopting a totally cuddly animal of nature? Try WWF where my Nuts can adopt a cuddly Polar Bear, a Moose, a Tortouise, among other woodland creatures.

So PB is not totally expired regarding Valentine's Day because nothing is greater than Love. But PB feels it should be shared every day. to quote a famous woman-

The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. -Helen Keller

Maybe PB is just chunky b/c peanuts are not truly recognized for their true aphrodesiac potential? So here's to trying to invade the Red Day with the greatest spread ever. PB!

Valentine Peanut Butter Treats

1 1/4 cups firmly packed light brown sugar

3/4 butter flavor Crisco stick or3/4 cup butter flavor Crisco

2 Tablespoons milk

1 Tablespoon vanilla

1 egg

1 3/4 cups flour

1 teaspoon salt

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

2 cups (about 32) miniaturePeanut Butter Cups, chopped

Heat oven to 375 degrees. Place brown sugar, shortening, milk and vanilla in large bowl. Beat at medium speed of electric mixer until well blended. Add egg, beat well. Combine flour, salt and baking soda. Add to shortening mixture; beat on low speed until just blended. Stir in peanut butter cups (chopped). Drop dough by rounded measuring teaspoonfuls 3 inches apart onto UNgreased baking sheets. Bake one baking sheet at a time at 375 degrees for 8-10 minutes or until cookies are lightly browned. DO NOT overbake! Cool 2 minutes on baking sheet. Remove cookies to foil to cool completely. Makes about 3 dozen cookies.

Clinton-Obama Drama

2008-02-11T12:38:00.000-05:00

Shady guesses it's no secret that she is not Hillary Clinton's #1 Fan. However, Shady does not "hate" Clinton. Shady does hate it when the media and others presume that women who do not support Hillary are being jealous or bitchy. Suprise! Women do have independent, analytical minds that can dislike Hillary based on politics. Shady does not have to support Hillary just because she's a woman, just like Black people do not have to support Barack just because he is Black.

That said, Shady has to admit that she has been feeling empathy for Hillary lately. She had to lend her own money to her campaign while Obama's campaign money is flowing, she's lost the last few contests, she changed her campaign manager, and then Shady had to just shake her head last night when Obama won the Grammy for spoken word over (Bill) Clinton. Those Clintons just can't catch a break these days!, Shady thought.

Then, in an instant, Shady's empathy evaporated when she read reports that Clinton's new spin is that she is the underdog candidate and that Obama represents the establishment. What the nut?! A year ago, no one would have thought that Obama would be neck to neck with Clinton, and up to a week ago, she was ahead in pledged delegates. Her campaign is faltering as much as Obama's is succeeding. She basically has tried to take Obama's approach for her own, even though it contradicts her campaign's earlier talking points. Spinning sh*t like that, and stating it with such bold-faced certainty, reminded Shady exactly of why she dislikes the Clintons. Thanks, Hillary!

Shady bill?

2008-02-10T14:51:00.000-05:00

John Read, a state legislator from Mississippi has proposed a bill banning ALL restaurants from serving obese individuals in his state, where over 30% of adults are classified as obese. Is this really the solution? The potential problems with this bill are tremendous. Besides the obvious DISCRIMINATION and taking away one's right to choose, this bill could restrict obese individuals' ability to travel, gather with others socially, and it requires obese restaurant employees to eat off-premises. Restaurant employees would have to "eyeball" customers and make decisions regarding to whom they deny services. Would you want to be in that position?! Would there be doctor scales in the restaurants? How about calipers to measure body fat, since body weight isn't necessarily the best way to measure an excess of body fat?

2007 OBESITY MAP ACCORDING TO THE CDC

John Banzhaf, an infamous lawyer known for taking on tabacco companies and fast food restaurants, has proposed a revision to the current bill that would focus on children:

No employee of a fast food chain outlet shall serve to any child who appears, to a reasonable person, to be under the age of 16 and to be obese, any single food item reported by the company to contain more than 500 calories, nor any meal where the calories in all of the food items in the meal (including any drinks, but not including sauces not provided at the counter) as reported by the company exceed 1000 calories.

However, all such food items may be served if the child is accompanied by a parent or guardian, or if the child presents a letter or note on the letterhead of a physician, hospital, or other health care entity certifying that he is not obese or that for medical reasons he should be served such food items, or if he or she provides such proof in a form or manner approved by the State Department of Health, including but not necessarily limited to, a wallet-sized card from any of the above sources or from the school which the child attends.

This is an interesting revision, however, are obese minors eating fast food away from their parents really the main reason that they are obese? And again, there is that *little* problem of making subjective determinations about an individual's weight, AND are employees really going to add up the calories being ordered, including sauce(s!)? Sorry, kid, that 15 calorie pack of hot sauce that you requested from me makes your meal 1005 calories. However, if you grab one yourself from the condiment area, you're fine. Finally, nothing would prevent the non-obese friend from ordering for their "obese" friend, unless employees would also be required to monitor the entire eating process.

What do others think about this?

Shady Commercial Rant

2008-02-07T16:20:00.000-05:00

Although Shady has TiVo, one of the creamiest inventions ever, she sometimes watches commercials and feels the needs to share which ones are currently climbing her roof.

For those Pindarphiles, the term climbing the roof originates from the annoying feeling one has when peanut butter is stuck on the roof of your mouth. However, Shady would like to ask that you not blame this uncomfortable sensation on peanut butter, which should bear no blame for the shortcomings of the human body.

We now return to the regularly scheduled post about terrible and terribly annoying commercials...

1) CITRUCEL AND ACTIVIA: Citrucel brags that their products are the only ones with SmartFiber. You know why they're the only ones with SmartFiber? Because it's a trademarked name that they made up. Same with Activia and their Bifidus Regularis. Are these made up names supposed to make digestive regulation fun? Or just make us feel that we are ingesting something oh-so-special? Right now I am suffering from Stupid Commercialus Agititus – an inflammation of my agitation for stupid commercials.

2) PIZZA ROLLS: Mom retrives the Pizza Rolls from the microwave and places them onto the counter. Son’s arm busts through the wall AND tile to reach out and grab the pizza rolls off of the plate. Mom finds this amusing and feels good about how eager her son is to eat the pizza rolls. The tagline is that pizza rolls now have more pizza power.

This commerical makes no sense. 1) The point is that the pizza rolls have more pizza power/taste. Why does the BOY demonstrate more power? And even if the boy busted through the wall AFTER eating the amped up pizza rolls, thereby consuming the "pizza power", why does pizza taste = brute strength?

3) WEIGHT WATCHERS: Their new advertising campaign is comprised of the following slogans: Diets Don't Work. Weight Watchers Does. and Stop Dieting. Start Living.

Why is "diet" a bad word? A diet, by definition, is the food you consume. Diets DO work to keep you alive! Even if you follow the colloquial definition of "diet," isn’t Weight Watchers a "diet"? Isn’t it a reduction or change of food intake for the purpose of losing weight? There is nothing wrong with that. WW is also a "diet plan" - there are books and products and meetings and a repackaged calorie counting gimmick.

The most annoying commerical is the one that states that when people diet, they tend to eat alone at home, but with Weight Watchers, you can "live" and eat out at restaurants. The reason that "dieters" eat at home, is because it is too tempting to be at a restaurant with yummy food and others eating alfredo and parmigiana and chocolate cake and you are eating broiled fish and rice. I think eating at home is a fine behavioral move if you are trying to lose weight. Eating at restaurants is no more easy or difficult on WW than it is on Atkins, South Beach or even the prepackaged plans which provide similar recommendations as WW for dining out. WW works for some people, but they should just embrace what they are - a DIET PROGRAM. Their high and mighty act ismisleading and a turn-off.

4) Avadar: Eat all you want and still lose weight! And we couldn’t say it on TV if it wasn’t true! This commercial is wrong all over the place. It has to be the lowest budget commerical on television. You can clearly see that a woman's head was photoshopped onto a cartoon body. Then, they just repeat their tagline twice. If anyone actually believes that only true statements can be made on TV, then body weight is the least of their problems.

5) OPTIMUM CABLE: THIS IS THE WORST COMMERCIAL JINGLE/SONG/MUSIC VIDEO/RAP EVER! View if you dare! Its annoyance factor requires no explanation.

Happy Birthday Shady!

2008-01-30T02:36:00.000-05:00

P.B. found it difficult to sleep this evening (and morning). Could it be in anticipation of the future National Lil' Shady Holiday? Probably. So in honor of Lil' Shady's super smooth and creamy entrance into this small world of ours: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Mr. Peanut salutes you! (take note Nuts that even Mr. Peanut has a shady monocle)

Hillary is Tracy Flick!

2008-01-29T11:01:00.000-05:00

Shady couldn't help but post this video despite her last post being about Hillary. Shady thinks that the movie, Election, is so smooth. Shady just wishes that she had made the Hillary Clinton/Tracy Flick comparison.

hint: If the video is loading slowly (after the ad has been played), hit pause until the gray bar moves towards the end so that you can watch the video uninterrupted. Enjoy!

Shady Election Coverage (Pt. 1)

2008-01-27T12:37:00.000-05:00

Hey, it's a double entendre!

Mikey P. asked for Shady and P.B.'s musings about the Presidential election process. Shady has been carefully watching the coverage from different news outlets, reading a range of newspaper reports, is on the mailing list of several candidates, and has watched several Republican and Democratic debates. Shady loves reality shows, and it doesn't get more real than this, nuts! Shady agrees with P.B. that 1) it is every American's civic duty to vote and 2) that every American has to make his or her own decision. However, Shady encourages all Nuts to educate themselves about every candidate, from both sides. For example, if your only connection to Huckabee is the movie, I Heart Huckabees, then you are not ready to make a final decision.

Today's entry will focus on Hillary Clinton. With other candidates, their actual positions on issues and other personal qualities that are not necessarily bad, are what stand out the most. Unfortunately, what stands out the most with Hillary Clinton is 1) her shrill voice when she gets defensive and 2) her ability to completely avoid answering questions, and turning the question around so that she can just throw out one of her talking points. When it comes to presidential candidates, she is #1 in that skill.

Shady believes that Clinton is a little shady, and not in the super creamy way. This is just Shady's opinion and does not express the views of P.B. Smooth. Shady however, is not as smooth as P.B. and does not mind opining about the candidates and sharing her shady views with the world. You should do your own homework though and make your own decision.

Here is an illustration of Clinton's style according to Shady:

Citizen: What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Clinton: [tightly smiles] That is a GREAT question! I am SO glad that you are here today to ask me that question.

You know [sighs, cocks head and looks nostaglic], my ice cream preference has changed over the years, [head upright, eyes intense] much like the change that I will bring to Washington D.C. if I am elected President!

[voice becomes shrill] My opponents [she means Barack Obama] could not change the ice cream scoop water, let alone enact change in Washington!!!

[catches hold of herself, tells self to look more relatable, softens expression and lowers voice an octave] I REALLY care about ice cream, and about every American child having the experience of eating ice cream. [tears up a little].

I have been working hard to choose my favorite ice cream flavor for the past 35 years, [returns to intense posture] much like the 35 years that I have been working for the public interest, [voice becomes shrill] unlike Barack Obama who only recently declared his love for ice cream, but has previously been quoted as saying that he hates ice cream and wants to inflate the dairy prices and arrest ice cream truck drivers and steal the ice cream out of the clutches of SICK LITTLE CHILDREN! THIS ELECTION IS ABOUT THE CHILDREN!

[voice becomes so shrill only dog can hear her] Not to mention, that my opponents [she means Barack Obama again] dodge the issues and could never answer such a direct question as, “What is your favorite ice cream flavor!”

No Double Entendres in Pindar!

2008-01-25T13:29:00.000-05:00

For the education of Bill, P.B.'s friend, who believes that there are many double entendres in Pindar, and Mikey P. (aka. quippy), Shady's friend, who just finds this clip enjoyable, have fun watching this classic SNL skit. This proves that in languages, words are simply words, and balls and nuts, as used in the English language, are simply balls and nuts. Case closed.

Hey Nuts! Don't forget to vote in our latest mascot smackdown poll! Also, read the January 18th post to read about each candidate's strengths and to voice your opinion. In this election year, being an informed voter is crucially important, whether you're voting for company mascots or something far less consequential, like say, the President of the United States.

Happy Birthday!

2008-01-25T09:14:00.000-05:00

Here's to my Nephew Cowpea's 7th Birthday. Aunt P.B. is super excited for the upcoming smooth birthday party. Now, P.B.'s nephew cowpea has his own obsessions: tractors and anything that is loud and fast. Maybe one day he could cultivate P.B.s peanut crop?